1GoldenSun
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2017
Not me or a family member, but someone I know is in this situation.
My friend and her daughter are planning the daughter's wedding. The future husband is a nice guy (supposedly, I've never met him but my friend likes him) but is not at all interested in the wedding and is leaving it up to my friend and her daughter.
My friend and her husband, the bride's father, are paying for it. They put money aside for this as the daughter was growing up, so they have the money, but there is definitely a budget. The groom will be paying for half the honeymoon, and the bride is paying for the other half, but the entire expense of the wedding is on my friends. The groom's family has not offered anything nor does it appear that they will. My friend is fine with this as they had always planned on paying for their daughter's wedding. This is not the problem at all; absolutely no expectations of financial assistance.
The issue is the guest list. They have found the venue they like, as well as caterers, etc., but at the "per plate" price they will have to limit the guest list. What my friend and her daughter are wondering is if it would be rude for them to invite more of "their people" and limit the groom's family. The groom has a very large family, and my friend and her daughter have no idea how many of them would expect to be invited.
I think the bride should talk to her fiance and get his input. She says that she has but that he just says he really doesn't care a thing about the wedding or who is invited, he just wants to be married to her. My friend thinks that's great and all, but his mother may think differently, haha. My friend and the groom's mother do not have enough of a relationship for her to talk to her about this.
Considering that they are paying for the entire wedding, would it be rude for the bride's family to invite more of their family than the groom's? Should they ask the groom's mother for an estimate of how many they'd like to invite, or give her the number they think they can invite? I'm afraid if they ask her and she tells them she has 100 people, it'll be harder to back peddle from than just telling her that she can have 40 on her guest list. Personally, I think 40 is a very reasonable number, but the groom's family is so large that this would probably mean no cousins, while the bride intends to invite her cousins.
What do you think?
My friend and her daughter are planning the daughter's wedding. The future husband is a nice guy (supposedly, I've never met him but my friend likes him) but is not at all interested in the wedding and is leaving it up to my friend and her daughter.
My friend and her husband, the bride's father, are paying for it. They put money aside for this as the daughter was growing up, so they have the money, but there is definitely a budget. The groom will be paying for half the honeymoon, and the bride is paying for the other half, but the entire expense of the wedding is on my friends. The groom's family has not offered anything nor does it appear that they will. My friend is fine with this as they had always planned on paying for their daughter's wedding. This is not the problem at all; absolutely no expectations of financial assistance.
The issue is the guest list. They have found the venue they like, as well as caterers, etc., but at the "per plate" price they will have to limit the guest list. What my friend and her daughter are wondering is if it would be rude for them to invite more of "their people" and limit the groom's family. The groom has a very large family, and my friend and her daughter have no idea how many of them would expect to be invited.
I think the bride should talk to her fiance and get his input. She says that she has but that he just says he really doesn't care a thing about the wedding or who is invited, he just wants to be married to her. My friend thinks that's great and all, but his mother may think differently, haha. My friend and the groom's mother do not have enough of a relationship for her to talk to her about this.
Considering that they are paying for the entire wedding, would it be rude for the bride's family to invite more of their family than the groom's? Should they ask the groom's mother for an estimate of how many they'd like to invite, or give her the number they think they can invite? I'm afraid if they ask her and she tells them she has 100 people, it'll be harder to back peddle from than just telling her that she can have 40 on her guest list. Personally, I think 40 is a very reasonable number, but the groom's family is so large that this would probably mean no cousins, while the bride intends to invite her cousins.
What do you think?