Parenting is hard..

[Chocolate Cake]

Because she isn’t going to do anything risky like reuse needles or use old ink. I did confirm both with her. And yes, I do believe her.

But why do you believe her? She has been sneaky with you twice now about the tattoos.

You don’t pull the my house, my rules "routine", because you think that your daughter can talk to you about anything, no matter what or when.

But, really, that is not the truth. She has gone behind your back and not spoken to you about permanent markings on her body. Or the fact that she gives them to others. Perhaps you have to review the rules of your home. Putting needles in other people is not a normal thing for a teenager to do. It carries so many risks. That is pretty much a basic rule that teens should follow.

 

[kimblebee]

That's great. Of course that's not the extent of the risk factors.

In the reverse, would you accept that reassurance from another parent for your kid?

That’s a good question. I would be more upset if it had been someone else gave her the tattoo. But, again, she’s a hypochondriac and she does have a good head on her shoulders so I know she wouldn’t let someone give her a tattoo if it wasn’t sterile and clean.

I have told her that she is to stop giving tattoos to herself and her friend. She agreed. Even though she turns 18 in October, she knows she still will have to listen to the rules.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I have never seen a prison tatt that looked good. I'd start saving now for when she wants to get it fixed professionally.

The nurse in me, who has seen far more hepatitis, HIV, endocarditis, heart valve vegetations, sepsis, cellulitis, and necrotizing fasciitis than anyone ever should, thinks purposely sticking yourself with a non-sterile needle, or allowing your friend to do, is incredibly risky and unwise. So many horrible infections can be caused by these infections. I have no issue with tattooos if that's your thing (although they aren't for me), but I think people should be safe about it. A mail order DIY kit with a youtube tutorial is not what I'd consider safe.

 

[cabanafrau]

Oh, I totally agree. I’m not trying to say what she’s doing is 100% safe. I’m just saying that it’s not like she’s doing it in the bathroom of a biker bar or something.

That’s a good question. I would be more upset if it had been someone else gave her the tattoo. But, again, she’s a hypochondriac and she does have a good head on her shoulders so I know she wouldn’t let someone give her a tattoo if it wasn’t sterile and clean.

I have told her that she is to stop giving tattoos to herself and her friend. She agreed. Even though she turns 18 in October, she knows she still will have to listen to the rules.

Not to be all up in your face, but you're giving your kid way too much latitude and benefit of the doubt as her mother. I'm not suggesting she isn't telling you the truth and isn't giving her best effort to be sterile and take precautions. Hypochondria and a good head on her shoulders only goes so far. She's not trained or qualified.

 

[kimblebee]

But why do you believe her? She has been sneaky with you twice now about the tattoos.

You don’t pull the my house, my rules "routine", because you think that your daughter can talk to you about anything, no matter what or when.

But, really, that is not the truth. She has gone behind your back and not spoken to you about permanent markings on her body. Or the fact that she gives them to others.

Yes, I do still believe her and trust her. She didn’t see them as a big deal. That’s not a ‘her’ issue, that’s a teenager in general issue.

She didn’t think about other parents being upset, but now she gets it and told me she will stop doing them.

Sure, she’s being sneaky, but most kids her age are about things. I’d find it very hard to believe if anyone on these boards said they’ve never done anything sneaky at some point in their life.

It wasn’t otherS, it was one other person. And, her mom knew about it so that’s out of my hands.

I didn’t freak out about the first one because it is small, not noticeable, and not offensive (it’s a little butterfly). The one I saw a few days ago is a bit bigger and is darker (because it’s new). And, when I talked to her last night I looked at it again and it’s not where I thought it first was. It looked like it was on her thigh above her knee but it’s actually on the outer thigh..almost exactly where mine is lol

Anyway, it’s been dealt with in a way that I feel good about. As for her not talking to me, I’m not worried based on what we talked about this morning.

 

[cabanafrau]

I have never seen a prison tatt that looked good. I'd start saving now for when she wants to get it fixed professionally.

I've seen enough to qualify for an entirely separate episode of Stupid Criminals. Heard about one who got one of a body outline while in jail waiting to be tried for . . . first degree murder.

 

[kimblebee]

Not to be all up in your face, but you're giving your kid way too much latitude and benefit of the doubt as her mother. I'm not suggesting she isn't telling you the truth and isn't giving her best effort to be sterile and take precautions. Hypochondria and a good head on her shoulders only goes so far. She's not trained or qualified.

I agree , she’s not trained or qualified. I’ve never tried to imply she was.

 

[kimblebee]

I have never seen a prison tatt that looked good. I'd start saving now for when she wants to get it fixed professionally.

The nurse in me, who has seen far more hepatitis, HIV, endocarditis, heart valve vegetations, sepsis, cellulitis, and necrotizing fasciitis than anyone ever should, thinks purposely sticking yourself with a non-sterile needle, or allowing your friend to do, is incredibly risky and unwise. So many horrible infections can be caused by these infections. I have no issue with tattooos if that's your thing (although they aren't for me), but I think people should be safe about it. A mail order DIY kit with a youtube tutorial is not what I'd consider safe.

Her tattoo looks nothing like a prison tattoo. I posted one a page or two back. That’s not hers at all. The lines on hers are no thicker than a pen stroke..even thinner than that.

 

[cabanafrau]

I agree , she’s not trained or qualified. I’ve never tried to imply she was.

Please hear this said gently, calmly and remember that we're having a conversation in a format that doesn't lend itself easily to convey tactfulness quite the way that is possible face to face. You qualify things that you said with details about hypochondria, good head on her shoulders, not doing it in a biker bar, etc. You're giving the benefit of the doubt as her mother. That's not the appropriate standard for the situation.

I'm not saying kimblebee jr. is a rotten, lowdown, menace to society and her mama is terrible. It doesn't make her a bad person or you a lousy parent. I'm just suggesting you're seeing this situation with your mom goggles on and are responding accordingly.

 

[kimblebee]

Please hear this said gently, calmly and remember that we're having a conversation in a format that doesn't lend itself easily to convey tactfulness quite the way that is possible face to face. You qualify things that you said with details about hypochondria, good head on her shoulders, not doing it in a biker bar, etc. You're giving the benefit of the doubt as her mother. That's not the appropriate standard for the situation.

I'm not saying kimblebee jr. is a rotten, lowdown, menace to society and her mama is terrible. It doesn't make her a bad person or you a lousy parent. I'm just suggesting you're seeing this situation with your mom goggles on and are responding accordingly.

That’s fair enough. I think yesterday I did see it as a mom, that’s why I put a stop to it. I am glad though, that she did take precautions.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

You do realize those photos you posted likely started out as much better works of art, right? The problem with DIY tattooos is that if you aren't using the right ink, or placing it in the exact layer of skin, with the exact thickness, then over time those perfect lines start to distort. The ink expands and contracts with temperature changes, weight fluctuations, even changes in body make up ( fat vs muscle vs water content).

I 100% guarantee you that your daughter's self tattooo will not look so perfect in a few, maybe 5, years.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

She then confessed that she had given herself a stick and poke tattoo and had done them for a few friends.

It wasn’t otherS, it was one other person. And, her mom knew about it so that’s out of my hands.

Why would she "confess" that she did them for a few friends when it was just one other person? And that other mom knew about it? What kind of mother allows this? Honestly, using needles on other humans is not normal teen stuff. I can't even imagine it.

 

[kimblebee]

You do realize those photos you posted likely started out as much better works of art, right? The problem with DIY tattooos is that if you aren't using the right ink, or placing it in the exact layer of skin, with the exact thickness, then over time those perfect lines start to distort. The ink expands and contracts with temperature changes, weight fluctuations, even changes in body make up ( fat vs muscle vs water content).

I 100% guarantee you that your daughter's self tattooo will not look so perfect in a few, maybe 5, years.

Could be, but luckily, if they do end up looking like that, they are easy to cover up.

My great uncle was in the navy and he got a tattoo ages ago. What I remember most about him is that he had a big, bluey green tattoo on his arm and no one could tell what it was. It had spread and distorted so much. It really was unrecognizable.

 

[kimblebee]

Why would she "confess" that she did them for a few friends when it was just one other person? And that other mom knew about it? What kind of mother allows this? Honestly, using needles on other humans is not normal teen stuff. I can't even imagine it.

I thought it was a few people, but it was only one other person. She told me about it when I noticed her first tattoo.

I’m sure if you listed everything your daughter/son has done with your permission, someone would think how can anyone let their kid do that.

If this is the worst thing she does in her life, I’ll count myself lucky.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

I thought it was a few people, but it was only one other person. She told me about it when I noticed her first tattoo.

I’m sure if you listed everything your daughter/son has done with your permission, someone would think how can anyone let their kid do that.

If this is the worst thing she does in her life, I’ll count myself lucky.

You are defensive. Best of luck with your daughter!

 

[cabanafrau]

Could be, but luckily, if they do end up looking like that, they are easy to cover up.

My great uncle was in the navy and he got a tattoo ages ago. What I remember most about him is that he had a big, bluey green tattoo on his arm and no one could tell what it was. It had spread and distorted so much. It really was unrecognizable.

If he was your great uncle, presumably your memory is of a man more than a few years beyond his Navy days. I'm sure it took a while before that tattoo became the big, bluey green blob your memory is conjuring up. No doubt it went through some awkward phases to get to where you remember.

I thought it was a few people, but it was only one other person. She told me about it when I noticed her first tattoo.

I’m sure if you listed everything your daughter/son has done with your permission, someone would think how can anyone let their kid do that.

If this is the worst thing she does in her life, I’ll count myself lucky.

Stand down the defenses. She's not en route to a future on the most wanted list. She merely needs proper training when and if she chooses to continue this as an artistic outlet.

 

[kimblebee]

If he was your great uncle, presumably your memory is of a man more than a few years beyond his Navy days. I'm sure it took a while before that tattoo became the big, bluey green blob your memory is conjuring up. No doubt it went through some awkward phases to get to where you remember.




Stand down the defenses. She's not en route to a future on the most wanted list. She merely needs proper training when and if she chooses to continue this as an artistic outlet.

I totally agree, I’m sure it started out as a great tattoo. My point was that tattoos can turn ugly over time.

Yes, I’m getting a bit defensive. Wouldn’t you if people were saying some of these things about your child?

I asked for opinions, I got them, and agree with some of them. Believe me, I know what I’m in for when I start any type of thread. Some people (not you) make it a mission to get me into a back and forth argument, trying to get me to slip up so they can run with it. Luckily, I don’t fall for it any more

I do appreciate your comments..they are calm and not argumentative at all. Thank you.

 

[cruiser21]

Yes, I do still believe her and trust her. She didn’t see them as a big deal. That’s not a ‘her’ issue, that’s a teenager in general issue.

She didn’t think about other parents being upset, but now she gets it and told me she will stop doing them.

Sure, she’s being sneaky, but most kids her age are about things. I’d find it very hard to believe if anyone on these boards said they’ve never done anything sneaky at some point in their life.

It wasn’t otherS, it was one other person. And, her mom knew about it so that’s out of my hands.

I didn’t freak out about the first one because it is small, not noticeable, and not offensive (it’s a little butterfly). The one I saw a few days ago is a bit bigger and is darker (because it’s new). And, when I talked to her last night I looked at it again and it’s not where I thought it first was. It looked like it was on her thigh above her knee but it’s actually on the outer thigh..almost exactly where mine is lol

Anyway, it’s been dealt with in a way that I feel good about. As for her not talking to me, I’m not worried based on what we talked about this morning.

If you're not worried about it why are asking strangers on a message board for parenting advice. Any advice your given you have an argument against. I'm not sure what answers you're looking for.

 

[cabanafrau]

I totally agree, I’m sure it started out as a great tattoo. My point was that tattoos can turn ugly over time.

Yes, I’m getting a bit defensive. Wouldn’t you if people were saying some of these things about your child?

I asked for opinions, I got them, and agree with some of them. Believe me, I know what I’m in for when I start any type of thread. Some people (not you) make it a mission to get me into a back and forth argument, trying to get me to slip up so they can run with it. Luckily, I don’t fall for it any more

I do appreciate your comments..they are calm and not argumentative at all. Thank you.

I am fully aware my daughters are terrible, terrible people. I simply accept it as the rightful outcome of my parenting. I've done horrible things like not making one put a stop to her planned promposal for her boyfriend and not understanding that one is a mean girl for a caption she put on one of her photos for her grad party. They are simply no good and I have absolutely no excuses for my miserable failure at parenting.

I am glad you understand I am not trying to argue with you, despite the fact that I do disagree with you. If your daughter does happen to end up down a bad path it's quite possible one of mine might be her cell mate -- although I would appreciate it if you did insist she refrain from tattooing them all the same, thank you very much!

 

[Floridaman999]

If you're not worried about it why are asking strangers on a message board for parenting advice. Any advice your given you have an argument against. I'm not sure what answers you're looking for.

Where did she ask for advice? I must have missed it.