Godparents Role

[marthachick]

Then the above don't apply. Do they even have a religious denomination?

They do, but different denominations. I don't understand either. I thought maybe I was just old. LOL

 

[Southernmiss]

In this case, it all sounds cultural. I know especially those of Philippine and Hispanic descent often present with numerous godparents. They are just basically special people in the child's life.

If they're not going to church and not Catholic this maybe a throwback to a family custom that probably started in a person of faith and who was going to church but got muddled as time went on and people stopped going to church but kept the term godparents.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

In DH's family, the Godparent is there to pay for everything the parents don't want to pay for. The Baptism, the party...the 1st birthday....1st communion....graduation party....etc - there is always a hand out, waiting for money. I think they mainly just pick godparents so the kid will have an automatic benefactor. It's such a sham. These people don't even go to Church, except for sacraments.

In my family, Godparents are chosen based on how well they will spiritually guide the child. There are no mandatory time or financial obligations.

We are non-practicing Catholics (I was raised in the Church, but have not been that great about raising my kids in it) - so I am pretty sure baptisms will not happen in the next generation and my grandkids will not have Godparents at all.

 

[marthachick]

I just talked to DS. I don't think he even knew about the expectation to be at the hospital. FDIL had told me I guess. In any event, he said he would NOT be leaving work and going to the hospital during labor. He seemed to think it was a bit over the top also.

 

[siren0119]

Having spent time working on a maternity ward at the local hospital, this sounds more like the mother-to-be's weird birth plan than anything "required" of godparents. It's certainly not anywhere in religious doctrine that the godparents MUST be present at the time of the child's birth. My parents were both raised Catholic (and I'm no spring chicken lol) and I don't think they decided on who would be my godparents until I was a few months old.

Maybe it's the new parents' way of communicating to your DS and FDIL that they want them to be a big part of their child's life, and it's losing something in translation because they're making it seem like a requirement. Or it could just be a mom-to-be with weird ideas of how to create the "perfect" birth LOL. Believe me when I say it's not the weirdest or most unreasonable request I saw in my time on Maternity LOL

 

[jrmasm]

Sounds like a Mommazilla. I'd decline the "honor".

 

[marthachick]

In DH's family, the Godparent is there to pay for everything the parents don't want to pay for. The Baptism, the party...the 1st birthday....1st communion....graduation party....etc - there is always a hand out, waiting for money. I think they mainly just pick godparents so the kid will have an automatic benefactor. It's such a sham. These people don't even go to Church.

Well I know this won't be happening. They will always bring a nice gift but won't be paying for some huge party or something.

 

[marthachick]

Having spent time working on a maternity ward at the local hospital, this sounds more like the mother-to-be's weird birth plan than anything "required" of godparents. ...
Maybe it's the new parents' way of communicating to your DS and FDIL that they want them to be a big part of their child's life, and it's losing something in translation because they're making it seem like a requirement. Or it could just be a mom-to-be with weird ideas of how to create the "perfect" birth LOL. Believe me when I say it's not the weirdest or most unreasonable request I saw in my time on Maternity LOL

I can't imagine!

Sounds like a Mommazilla. I'd decline the "honor".

Kind of what I was thinking myself!

 

[Hikergirl]

Catholics are not the only ones who have Godparents. There are other Christians that do so them not being Catholic does not mean anything in terms of the OP's ds and his fiance being "real" Godparents.
Dh and I are the Godparents to my friends' kids, they are Lutheran. The requirement for us to stand up at their baptism as Godparents was that we were baptized in the Christian faith. I was as a Catholic, dh was as a Protestant.
IIRC my kid's Godparents had to be Catholic in order to be approved.

 

[Southernmiss]

Catholics are not the only ones who have Godparents. There are other Christians that do so them not being Catholic does not mean anything in terms of the OP's ds and his fiance being "real" Godparents.
Dh and I are the Godparents to my friends' kids, they are Lutheran. The requirement for us to stand up at their baptism as Godparents was that we were baptized in the Christian faith. I was as a Catholic, dh was as a Protestant.
IIRC my kid's Godparents had to be Catholic in order to be approved.

Yes, the Catholic church does require the Godparents to be practicing Catholics. There is an allowance made that one Godparent is a Catholic in good standing and the other can be a Christian Witness.

 

[_19disnA]

Good reason to ask what the 'expectations' are before agreeing to be a godparent. I have never heard of the 'going to the hospital' thing (or some huge financial commitment for things the parents choose to pass off on someone else.....which seems VERY tacky.) and most of the time godparents are chosen closer to the time of the baptism (in the case of Catholics). The most typical role was largely ceremonial during the baptism and only in the unlikely event the child suddenly becomes an orphan would there be any additional expectations. If the expectations seem unreasonable, I would agree with the poster who said you should just decline this 'opportunity'.

 

[Hikergirl]

Yes, the Catholic church does require the Godparents to be practicing Catholics. There is an allowance made that one Godparent is a Catholic in good standing and the other can be a Christian Witness.

Yes, you are right. After I typed that I realized that my dd's Godfather is my BIL who is Protestant like dh.
I'd have to look at her Baptism certificate to see if he is on there are Godfather or Christian Witness because I really can't remember ever hearing of that. It's been 21 years though so my memory could just be off.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Being at the hospital is not a role.
Godparents are supposed to support the child in religious aspects throughout their life.
A best friend's role is to be at the hospital to support them.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

The parents are not Catholic.

Well then who knows what it is they are actually expecting!

 

[marthachick]

Well then who knows what it is they are actually expecting!

So true! I just wondered if this was some new trend I had never heard of. DS is 27 and a LOT of things have changed since then.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I've been chosen to be Godmother to my cousin's baby (to be born in June), and I'm already Godmother to my sister's oldest. I'm Catholic, and in my nephew's case the chosen Godfather was not a Catholic and so was told he wasn't to be called a Godfather, he was a "sponsor." Now, this was 30 years ago, so things might have changed in that parish, which was a very conservative one. My cousin is not religious, not a Catholic, and doesn't even know where the baby would be baptized. So, that's all up in the air. Her boyfriend is Baptist, but not religious either.

 

[kimblebee]

My daughter has godparents but it is in name only. Heck, I’m an atheist and her father isn’t religious as far as I know. He’s the one who wanted her to have them, pretty much insisted on it. I didn’t care so I just went along with it.

 

[DisneyHardin]

Yes, the Catholic church does require the Godparents to be practicing Catholics. There is an allowance made that one Godparent is a Catholic in good standing and the other can be a Christian Witness.

This is how I was able to be my cousin's daughters Godmother. I am not a practicing Catholic (although I was christened in the Catholic Church as a baby), but since her Godfather was Catholic, I was able to be the Godmother.

 

[anniemae]

Thanks for your speedy replies! I always thought the role was to raise the child(ren) in the death of the parents also. And another weird thing is, they're different denominations so it's not about raising the child in their chosen faith. I think it's more a symbolic thing maybe? FDIL was the one who told me about being at the hospital and when I asked DS about it and he didn't know anything about it.

No, being a godparent is not a legal thing. It is something for the Catholic faith. I always thought the role of a godparent is to see that the child is raised in the Catholic faith. They are supposed to be practicing Catholics who will be role models to the child. They would be present at important Catholic events such as the baptism, Confirmation, wedding etc.

I don't believe it has anything to do with raising the children in the event of the parents death. That would be called a legal guardian and a lawyer would have to draw up a document for all parties to sign. Nothing to do with the church. At least that's what I always thought.

 

[dakotix]

More of a symbolic gesture really. These days everyone practices different faiths or none at all. In my family we are all different religions. We were brought up Catholic but my sister is some weird nondenominational faith, one brother is Catholic and the other is agnostic, my mom was brought up episcopal but converted to Catholic when she married, my husband is episcopal but was raised Lutheran, and I'm atheist.