The Sober/Curious movement?

[Hikergirl]

Still no need for a movement, how about these 30 year old women communicate and with each other and go out and do things that don't involve alcohol.
I completely understand about being a non-drinker, when my kids were young I didn't indulge the way I did before they were born, or the way I do now. It wasn't that hard to not give in to pressure, and it wasn't that hard to plan a night out with friends that didn't involve drinking. Maybe those who are trying to get this movement going think it's a novel thing, but it really isn't. People have been having fun and enjoying outings and each other without alcohol for probably as long as alcohol has been around.
If the people you spend time with don't take no for an answer then it isn't the alcohol, it's the company you keep,

 

[Imzadi]

Let’s start a club @Imzadi!

(<--- NO alcohol! )

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

(<--- NO alcohol! )

Too funny!

 

[RedAngie]

Then there are the people, who when a group of us goes out to dinner, they have had a few drinks. They always want to split the check evenly. So, those of us who haven't had any alcohol (or appetizers,) are supposed to subsidize their drinks. We end up having to state how some people didn't order a lot, not even appetizers, and it's not fair to split the check evenly.

Those people are hoping you're too embarrassed or timid NOT to subsidize them, because no doubt they've gotten away with it plenty of times before. Good for you for speaking up and refusing to play their game.

 

[BrianL]

It's actually hard to be a non-drinker amongst a group of drinkers. I don't have a problem with them drinking. I just don't like alcohol. Most of all, other than caffeine, I don't like mind altering drugs, especially one that DULLS the senses. A long time ago, I learned to simply make the excuse, "I don't drink alcohol as it just makes me sleepy." I joke, "I'll just end up in the corner over there asleep. So what's the point?"

That usually works on most people. However, there have been a couple times where people try to insist that I simply need to drink more than I was to get past the sleepy point.

Then, there was one event I went to where the hostess, once she found out I wasn't drinking, nearly had a cow over it. She had to know WHY??? Then she told other people I wasn't drinking, as she introduced me to them. And then they had to ask why??? Was I an alcoholic? Was it for religious reasons? Was I going to judge them as they got more sloshed? (The way they were judging me. ) I pretty much spent the whole time fielding those questions. I thought it might be easier to lie and just say, yes, I'm an alcoholic. Then they'd have an "acceptable" reason as to why I don't drink. But, I didn't. Needless to say, that was the last time I did something with the hostess & her DH.

Then there are the people, who when a group of us goes out to dinner, they have had a few drinks. They always want to split the check evenly. So, those of us who haven't had any alcohol (or appetizers,) are supposed to subsidize their drinks. We end up having to state how some people didn't order a lot, not even appetizers, and it's not fair to split the check evenly.

I think it would be a breath of fresh air to be with people who also don't drink and we don't have to give reasons why.

Oh, I can relate. I tried this one once: I was at an after-work happy hour but I was drinking coke. I was of course asked, "what'cha drinking?" "Coke." "Oh, why just a coke?" etc., etc. So when "I just don't care for it" wouldn't suffice as an answer, I turned to one of them and turned on a total stone face and said "Let me tell you a story about how alcohol ruined my marriage, burned my house down, and killed my dog." The guy's eyeds get wide. "Woah...really?" "...Nah. But what if it had?" Yeah, they probably wouldn't have felt too good about asking the question.

 

[BrianL]

Let’s start a club @Imzadi!

I'm in!

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

Sometimes I wish I did actually like alcohol & wine. There are so many things to learn or events you can attend, like mixology classes or wine pairing classes.
My mom is also a non-drinker, she went to Napa Valley & toured the vineyards. She said it was beautiful & the guide insisted he would find a wine she liked...
Well, nope...not unless it’s iced tea or Pepsi!

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

I'm in!

Cool, we have 3 members now!

 

[disneychrista]

Not sure if I would call it joining the movement but I'm 26 days sober. I'm not going to say I am never going to drink but for now it is necessary for my own well being to not drink.

I also did "sober January" this year.

 

[lifesavacation]

Cool, we have 3 members now!

I’m a reluctant member. The allergist says I have mast cell activation and alcohol is the trigger. Huge bummer for me as I liked alcohol. The doctor said I could take 2-3 Allegra before drinking and that should keep me from reacting, but I’m too chicken to try it.

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

I’m a reluctant member. The allergist says I have mast cell activation and alcohol is the trigger. Huge bummer for me as I liked alcohol. The doctor said I could take 2-3 Allegra before drinking and that should keep me from reacting, but I’m too chicken to try it.

Well obviously you are welcomed into the club!
I’m really sorry you are dealing with this allergy issue.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Sometimes I wish I did actually like alcohol & wine. There are so many things to learn or events you can attend, like mixology classes or wine pairing classes.
My mom is also a non-drinker, she went to Napa Valley & toured the vineyards. She said it was beautiful & the guide insisted he would find a wine she liked...
Well, nope...not unless it’s iced tea or Pepsi!

I think it would totally depend on if you even liked learning about alcohol. Def. get that many tours of places are designed by nature that you get to actually taste the alcohol but I don't see why someone can opt not to partake in any alcohol but still go and learn about things depending on what it is; I've def. seen children on tours before too.

I think going to a wine tasting only would be different than a rum factory tour or a brewery tour for example because the latter you can learn quite a lot of interesting things that aren't so centered on "what wines do you want to try" and that's it. JMO of course

 

[Christine]

I am a non-drinker. Just because it makes me feel bad when I drink. I actually *want* to drink. I find cocktails interesting and I always taste what my DH or adult children are having. I find "mixology" interesting. But for some reason, me and alcohol just don't mix.

I'm in my 50s and I guess I've been lucky that the alcohol culture was just not that big of deal with my group. It certainly is more so now than it ever was.

I think a lot of the mommy drinking these days stems from the same group that went through college and had the binge drinking problems. It's just evolved into adulthood and this is how they know to socializing. I'm generalizing of course, but I see it with my own family members in the 25-40 demographic.

 

[clutter]

I'm not sure why so many view drinking as an either/or. Sometimes I'll have a drink, sometimes I won't. So I guess I'm excluded from both drinking and non-drinking clubs.

I do like interesting cocktails, so I will usually order something interesting when we go out. I'm still trying to find a cocktail to beat out a beet and basil mojito I had at a Cuban restaurant once... (As for the DDP, I don't drink soft drinks, and I've been paying for those for years.... So, while I was excited that they added an alcoholic beverage, I ended up not purchasing the plan because I'm not a big dessert eater either.)

And I'm pretty sure the other moms from my dd's old soccer teams drank quite a bit. On the one hand, it was probably nice to have a ton of money and not have to work because their husbands made such a good living. On the other hand, getting a glimpse into their lives, I see why they might day drink.

 

[luvsJack]

I'm not sure why so many view drinking as an either/or. Sometimes I'll have a drink, sometimes I won't. So I guess I'm excluded from both drinking and non-drinking clubs.

I do like interesting cocktails, so I will usually order something interesting when we go out. I'm still trying to find a cocktail to beat out a beet and basil mojito I had at a Cuban restaurant once... (As for the DDP, I don't drink soft drinks, and I've been paying for those for years.... So, while I was excited that they added an alcoholic beverage, I ended up not purchasing the plan because I'm not a big dessert eater either.)

And I'm pretty sure the other moms from my dd's old soccer teams drank quite a bit. On the one hand, it was probably nice to have a ton of money and not have to work because their husbands made such a good living. On the other hand, getting a glimpse into their lives, I see why they might day drink.

See that is me. Not an either/or. I will drink but I usually don’t. Dh and I may go out to dinner and I have a couple of drinks. Another night we may meet another couple at a bar and I don’t drink. I don’t base it on where I am or who I am with, it’s whether I want a drink or not.

My kids used to be part of a weekly event that took place at a bar. Most of the time no one cared if anyone was drinking or not but occasionally there would be someone there that wanted everyone to drink with them. So the bartender made me a sprite with a splash of grenadine and added a cherry and lemon slice. It got past the drink pusher and if I decided I wanted an actual drink, I would just let her know.

 

[cinnaminny]

Those people are hoping you're too embarrassed or timid NOT to subsidize them, because no doubt they've gotten away with it plenty of times before. Good for you for speaking up and refusing to play their game.

Exactly!

I used to wait tables and have seen this so many times. I think the best thing is to get into the habit of sitting down and immediately saying to the server, "separate checks". No explanation needed. Lot's of people do it and it's a perfectly acceptable thing to do.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'm not sure why so many view drinking as an either/or. Sometimes I'll have a drink, sometimes I won't. So I guess I'm excluded from both drinking and non-drinking clubs.

Hmm I didn't get that impression. Logically it stands to reason that many people opt to partake one time but not another.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Dh and I may go out to dinner and I have a couple of drinks. Another night we may meet another couple at a bar and I don’t drink.

I'd hazard a guess and say that's most people.

I do think certain atmospheres create an ambience but that doesn't mean a person has to drink an alcoholic beverage by virtue of the place.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I think a lot of the mommy drinking these days stems from the same group that went through college and had the binge drinking problems. It's just evolved into adulthood and this is how they know to socializing. I'm generalizing of course, but I see it with my own family members in the 25-40 demographic.

The mommy culture I was referring to was women who get together while their kids are at school and whatnot and in these cases it's common to be from an affluent situations. Multiple women reported in the article I was reading about my area never really had drunk before getting mixed up in the situation. It was the social circle, peer pressure, this is what you do to pass the time type situation. And when I mentioned merchandise it's because a lot seem to be targeting that type, the workout clothes (when you rarely are working out in them it's more of a fashion thing), when you have wine glasses and thermos style cups, the home decor, etc. Mostly it's harmless but it's not always.

Purely my opinion but I'm not sure I would label mommy drinking in the context most seem to be talking about as a binge drinking habit that never went away. If you have that sort of problem I think that's just a binge drinking habit that never went away irrespective of a new label.

 

[luvsJack]

I'd hazard a guess and say that's most people.

I do think certain atmospheres create an ambience but that doesn't mean a person has to drink an alcoholic beverage by virtue of the place.

I would too. But there are also people (the drink pushers I mentioned in the post) that seem to think if they are drinking everyone must drink or if one is in a bar to drink is required.

My former in laws were definitely in the drinking club. Every single event, gathering, normal daily activity included alcohol.