Children Moving Out?

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

According to CNBC the average debt a college graduate has is under $40,000.

I looked at it by class. For instance when I graduated the average was $25,250 in 2010. Now it's $28,900 for class of 2018. In many ways that can be traced to rising tuition costs--my alma mater is well over $100/credit hour MORE than it was my senior year for instance.

You may be looking at it from a stand point of ALL grads who hold student loans. To me looking at it by class helps (eta: but really either way works depending on what factors you are looking for/at). When I started college things were different than how it is now--not only the economy but also how student loans, especially private ones, are given out.

Interest rates also play a roll in the amount someone has in student loans. For 2 of my loans when the governement raises the interest rates my interest rate goes up--great when you want to invest in your bank account...not so good for my student loan. That's me doing absolutely nothing to the loan either.

 

[disneychrista]

You may be looking at it from a stand point of ALL grads who hold student loans.

I don't know how they figured it out. I only did a quick search because I couldn't believe it was anywhere near $200k. Student Loan debt is foreign to me. Both myself and my daughters went to a community college on need based grants.

 

[ronandannette]

The one who is in a much better position to do something like this has looked into doing just this and in the future may.

What I want to know is what if for whatever reason they aren't able to move out at 18. Is it too bad for you, figure it out? Or are they going to support (and I don't mean financially) their children until they are able to.

Unfortunately, I can answer this question from our own experience (YMMV). Call us derelict parents (and I'm sure some will ) but we were not hyper-focused on what path our DS would take from a young age. We just simply assumed that with all the basic advantages in place and him being a reasonably conventional person, things would naturally unfold in a certain way. During his last two years of high school he turned a corner away from academic diligence in favor of his social life and nebulous "hopes and dreams" that never solidified into goals. He set his mind on taking a "gap year", against our wishes and did not apply to any post-secondary directly out of Grade 12.

OK, so what to do then? We did what I imagine most parents would do - loosened control a little, did not coerce him into bending to our better judgement and decided to see where it went. We absolutely required him to get a job if he was to stay at home and he did so immediately, working away in a camp setting. It was a seasonal position that ended 5 months later and his next job was Christmas retail, which also ended. By this time, in a way none of us ever saw coming, our local economy crashed - and burned. The local unemployment rate skyrocketed. For the past 2-and-a-half years he has worked intermittently at random, mostly part-time jobs and has gone for months between them.

Could we have pushed him out to sink-or-swim? Yes. We decided against it as there was a 50/50 chance he would have sunk; ended up couch-surfing or worse and how would that have helped any of us? He is now "back on track" and has an entirely different perspective on life; his future is optimistic even though he surely won't be retiring a mortgage by age 30. FWIW, our current goal is to retire ours by the time he's that age. It's all good...end of the day we could second-guess ourselves to death but this has been our path and we stand by the decisions we've made.

According to CNBC the average debt a college graduate has is under $40,000.

That's really interesting - we always hear how shockingly expensive American post-secondary education is. A full academic year at the school DS has been accepted to (university, not community college) is $6,600.00. With books, fees and whatnot, he will graduate in 4 years for about what you're quoting although not all of it will be debt. Good thing too because he currently plans a career in human services and the earning potential for those types of careers is not sky-high.

 

[disneychrista]

We did what I imagine most parents would do - loosened control a little, did not coerce him into bending to our better judgement and decided to see where it went.

Were you in the 18 and you are out of here camp before the detour?

I understand completely the need to adapt to the changing expectations of our children's lives. Both my daughters have taken different paths than I thought they would. One due to medical issues. The other because she took a different academic path than she started out so she could start working sooner and not be in debt. Honestly, as parents our job is not to dictate their future but to support them in their decisions.

 

[ronandannette]

Were you in the 18 and you are out of here camp before the detour?

I understand completely the need to adapt to the changing expectations of our children's lives. Both my daughters have taken different paths than I thought they would. One due to medical issues. The other because she took a different academic path than she started out so she could start working sooner and not be in debt. Honestly, as parents our job is not to dictate their future but to support them in their decisions.

Not really, no. I can't say we ever gave it much thought, let alone had a plan in place for facing it. I guess that is my whole point - not sure how you gleaned otherwise from my post.

 

[disneychrista]

Not really, no. I can't say we ever gave it much thought, let alone had a plan in place for facing it. I guess that is my whole point - not sure how you gleaned otherwise from my post.

Because you answered my question posed to those were are of that mind set. I was actually pretty certain you weren’t from your previous posts.

 

[ronandannette]

Because you answered my question posed to those were are of that mind set. I was actually pretty certain you weren’t from your previous posts.

Apparently none of the posters you're referring to have ever been in the situation, nor believe they ever could. Good for them and I genuinely hope their luck holds. Personally I think we're all just one unexpected occurrence away from finding ourselves in a very different place than we ever imagined, but that's just me.

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree that "tons of debt" is vague, but in many of these discussions people act like it's normal to have 200K in student debt and those of us that think it's possible to get by without that are just wrong. (I mention the number 200K because I believe that was the number in play the last time we had this argument. We haven't talked about a number this time around.) I'm still tired of arguing about this with you from the last time. You think it's unfortunate I don't believe it has to be reality for many, I think it's unfortunate you believe that kind of debt load has to be a reality for many. And around and around we go.

My kids are pretty recent graduates and I know exactly how much it cost for them to get their four year degrees and it wasn't 200K. Their total debt for each had they had the same jobs, living situations, etc. and I not helped at all would have been around 60K (they went away all four years.) Had they continued to live like a student either at home or with roommates and knocked it down about 20K the first year or two out of school, they would have ended up with a 40K loan that would have cost them around $300 a month for the next 20 years.

I have never said it's easy or that some debt isn't normal. I have been one to say that SOME kids do go to wildly expensive schools and get loans for crazy amounts. Nothing will convince me it's not crazy to take out 200K in loans for an undergrad degree.

My 23 year old’s in state tuition/RB was $28,000 a year, my 21 year old’s in state tuition/RB is $32,000 a year (both moved into sketchy off campus situations junior year for $500 a month). My 18 year old’s OOS public university is over $50,000 a year, but with merit scholarships we are paying $30,000. No need based aid was given besides the $5000 subsidized federal loans. Two more kids to go.

 

[ronandannette]

My 23 year old’s in state tuition/RB was $28,000 a year, my 21 year old’s in state tuition/RB is $32,000 a year (both moved into sketchy off campus situations junior year for $500 a month). My 18 year old’s OOS public university is over $50,000 a year, but with merit scholarships we are paying $30,000. No need based aid was given besides the $5000 subsidized federal loans. Two more kids to go.

This is more in line with the kind of numbers I’ve heard often before and I’m practically fainting thinking about it.

 

[lovin'fl]

At what age did you children move out on their own? Did they move into shared housing or in their own apartment.? Did you help with any expenses or where they self sufficient?

My DH was working in another state when my kids graduated HS. We bought a 2BR condo where DH's job was and he went there a few days a week and then came home for the rest of the week...every week for 2 years and 8 months. When DS graduated he moved into condo and went to community college there while working. Then 2 years later my twin DDs graduated and we sold the house and condo and bought a townhouse where DH's job was.

We all lived there that summer and then DDs went off to college and DS moved out into his own apartment. He was still going to CC so we paid his rent. He was working full time in his career and just recently got a nice job promotion and completed his associates. So we're done paying rent. He has had a roommate so rent wasn't bad but then they moved to a nicer apartment about 15 months ago and got a cat so the monthly rent was higher and we still just paid the half of the cheaper rent. He paid all utilities and for his cat and groceries and whatnot. We just gave that small 1/2 rent of the cheaper place ($500). We tell him he can move back in with us and save some $$ but he doesn't want to.

DDs-20, who are going into 3rd year of college, moved out of dorm and into house with 2 other girls. We pay the $550 each for rent and utilities there and give them $350 each for groceries. They worked this summer to save more $$$. They only have 3 semesters left so we'll pay until then and then they too are on their own. (Their tuition room and board is $43K each but they get half off in scholarships. We are saving about $12K each on room and board for the year...but forking over $900/month each so we're saving a little though pay for 12 months now as opposed the the room and board being for just 9 months and then having to house and feed them the other 3 months).

We pay college too. We just want to get them set so they can manage on their own after college. Don't want them having huge debt over their heads as they try to move into adult life. We are fortunate to be able to offer that to our kids. But age 22 (DS is now) is the cutoff. And if they weren't going to school, we would not pay. That was the rule.

 

[nkereina]

I moved out at 19 to attend college about 90 minutes from home. I lived in the dorm my first year, but moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) during my second year. My parents kept me on their car insurance and their cell phone bill until I graduated and started working full time. They did not help with rent or utilities after I left the dorm.

 

[mjkacmom]

This is more in line with the kind of numbers I’ve heard often before and I’m practically fainting thinking about it.

And this is for public, dd18 really wanted to go to Villanova, but at $72,000, we said no.

 

[soccerdad72]

I know this thread has veered pretty far away from the OP, but on the topic of student college debt, I just saw this article this morning and thought it was interesting (spoiler alert: average student debt according to the study was a little over $28,000, as others have indicated.

https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/most-expensive-colleges-least-125116156.html

 

[disneychrista]

My 23 year old’s in state tuition/RB was $28,000 a year, my 21 year old’s in state tuition/RB is $32,000 a year (both moved into sketchy off campus situations junior year for $500 a month). My 18 year old’s OOS public university is over $50,000 a year, but with merit scholarships we are paying $30,000. No need based aid was given besides the $5000 subsidized federal loans. Two more kids to go.

These numbers are CRAZY to me. Your 18yos tuition is more than my annual income and I have what is considered to be a "good" job.

 

[RamblingMad]

These numbers are CRAZY to me. Your 18yos tuition is more than my annual income and I have what is considered to be a "good" job.

What’s driving a lot of the cost is students living on campus. Housing is not cheap. When I went to university, it was about half of my tuition, so I opted to commute instead.

 

[disneychrista]

Housing is not cheap.

Which circles back to the original topic.

 

[Kestryl]

(I don’t have kids- just giving a few examples of me and family.)

I went to college from 18-22. During that time, I’d move back home over the summer. My parents paid for my living expenses, including on-campus room and board. They offered to cover room and board, and I paid tuition. (Though I got a full-tuition scholarship, so yea me.) I moved out fully after summer when I turned 22 to go to grad school (covered by assistantships). I moved into a house with roommates (though I had my own room). I paid rent, food, and utilities. My parents still paid for my car insurance and cell phone bill until I was 26. I went from living in the house to living with a roommate in a condo from 24-26, then an apartment with my at the time fiancé (now husband) at 26. I’m actually still on my family’s cell phone plan, along with my husband, but that’s because it’s cheaper for all of us overall. (Basically a bulk order cell plan discount.) We pay our share of the plan.

My husband mostly lived at home until he was 27 and moved in with me. (There were a few years he lived on campus.) He handled all his own personal bills starting at 18. When he was home, he kicked in money for house bills (rent, utilities). His parents took him off their cell phone plan, which still makes no sense to me, because they were saving maybe $20 a month and he had to pay around $100 for his own. (Seriously, family plans are worth it.) He has a ton of student debt. Sticking with the set plan, he’d pay it off in 20 years, but we’re able to pay down a little faster cause I have no loans and can take on more of our living expenses.

 

[RamblingMad]

Which circles back to the original topic.

Rents aren’t terrible either.

The problem is the dismantling of the unions in the 80s and globalization in the 90s really put a cap on folks salary that didn’t finish or attend university. And the demand for university really drove up tuition costs to ludicrous levels.

Basically, the baby boomers created this mess, and now they have to pay for it later in life.

The reality is that the minimum wage should be closer to $20 than $7. And both university costs and medical costs should have some price controls put in place. Both are now damaging to future generations’ ability to accumulate wealth.

So now this new generation needs to figure out how to navigate these waters.

 

[dish rag]

Rents aren’t terrible either.

The problem is the dismantling of the unions in the 80s and globalization in the 90s really put a cap on folks salary that didn’t finish or attend university. And the demand for university really drove up tuition costs to ludicrous levels.

Basically, the baby boomers created this mess, and now they have to pay for it later in life.

The reality is that the minimum wage should be closer to $20 than $7. And both university costs and medical costs should have some price controls put in place. Both are now damaging to future generations’ ability to accumulate wealth.

So now this new generation needs to figure out how to navigate these waters.

 

[disneychrista]

Rents aren’t terrible either.

I guess that all depends on where you live. Rents in my area are disproportionate to the wages. If you are a young person making $15/hr. how are you suppose to pay rents that are $1,200 - $1,500 a month? They won't even consider you unless you are making 3 times the rent.

I know, I know...get a second job, get roommates, blah blah blah. MY OPINION - A single person making an average wage in an area should be able to afford the average rent in that area.