Do you ever take your Nanny or Babysitter with you?

[Maistre Gracey]

Don't let other people bring you down. They are just too afraid or too narrow- minded to see the world in any other way.

I don't think this is a fair statement.
I think people on both sides of the issue are narrow minded, and don't really understand or agree with the other sides view.

I think it's fair to say people on both sides of the issue are sticking to their beliefs, but I don't think it's fair to say only one side is narrow minded.

MG

 

[Sammie]

I am not sure anyone is being narrow minded unless they think thier view or opinion, is the only right one on this issue.

Certainly everyone can understand where MG is coming from. His perspective is based on his own personal situation. Someone with children will have a different one. It does not make one right and the other wrong, only different.

However I do think it is wrong to judge what is right or wrong in this situation, as there truly is no right or wrong, only what works for each individual family.

Some would never take a sitter or nanny and some would not take Grandparents simply because they are family but would enjoy taking their sitter or nanny.

I would hope that everyone would be open minded enough not to judge right or wrong in this and only share what works for them.

 

[DisneyDVCdad]

I bring my Mother in law for just that reason! She watches our children DS3 DD newborn twice a week! It makes our lives much easier when we want to go rides together! Plus she loves Disney World! The only downside has been is that my mother in law always ends up going off by herself! Which is fine, But it would be nice if we could go by ourselves for a few hours ourselves!

 

[jodifla]

I don't think this is a fair statement.
I think people on both sides of the issue are narrow minded, and don't really understand or agree with the other sides view.

I think it's fair to say people on both sides of the issue are sticking to their beliefs, but I don't think it's fair to say only one side is narrow minded.

MG

Well, first of all, I kept my comments more general, not responding specifically to you.

And I'm responding to some pretty loaded statements that I find pretty narrow-minded. One that leaps out: "goes against our entire belief system."

Geez louise!

Let's face it. Most of us go to WDW all the time. It's not a once-in-a-lifetime family vacation. Inasmuch, there are many ways to experience it.

Sometimes its just the three of us, sometimes we bring friends. Almost always we get a sitter a couple of nights (and oh the big deal some people make about that!)

For those who only want a tight-knit family thing, that's cool!

But as someone who travels frequently with others and gets sitters on a regular basis, I wanted to offer my views to the OP, and to tell her not to let other posters get her down.

 

[Disneynut71]

I usually bring another adult to help me with my DD (4) Since I have a 10 year old son who wants to ride with me all the big rides I need someone to stay with her.

Also helps when DS and I want to hit the park for EMH. DD stays back in the room while we are out riding.

 

[flexsmom]

We brought our nanny with us a couple of years ago when I was the "planner" for my family's reunion associated with my parent's 50th anniversary. We had 14 or 15 people total, with 6 or 7 children, and a few evening activities were designated as "adult-only" dinners, so it was good to have a built-in sitter. Plus, my own DS was 21-months at the time. He was not a stroller-napper and in the interest of trying to keep him on some kind of even keel, I wanted for him to be able to nap, so our nanny would hang with him in the afternoon during naptime while the other dozen-plus people kept going at the parks or with whatever our group-wide activity was. Other than that, she pretty much was able to do as she pleased, and most of that time she opted to hang out with us (because we're such a fun group, of course....or maybe just a humorous study of extended-family-dynamics, I don't know! )

We have been back twice since then and have not thought to bring her along - it worked for us then but at my kids ages now, the reason I felt she would be really helpful has passed.

Whatever works!

 

[Stewy]

My ds 9 and is so excited about our cruise in 2008

 

[Stewy]

My ds 9 and is so excited about our cruise in 2008

 

[papabear4]

And I'm responding to some pretty loaded statements that I find pretty narrow-minded. One that leaps out: "goes against our entire belief system." Geez louise!

Yeah, that comment made me feel a little sorry for the OP, too. When my DW worked at a childcare center in college, she became like a beloved aunt to some of those kids. In fact, a couple of the kids she took care of (at the center and also at their homes) were in our wedding. She didn't vacation with any of them, but I can see where they would have been happy to have her along if it would have come up.

DW is one of those people who create community wherever they go, so I wouldn't be surprised if the mailman ends up coming to WDW with us someday. Who cares who you bring on your trip? If inviting a grandparent or a nanny or a babysitter along means you might get an hour to relax by the pool with a novel or get out for dinner with your spouse, doesn't that make your family stronger in the long run?

I guess our "belief system" is the more the merrier!

 

[Luigi's Girl]

I think you're right, kdzgon. Perhaps it is out of character for me. I certainly didn't want to come accross as offensive, and I tried to lighten it up with the smiley thing. I guess my inner feelings came through.
I do understand different families work differently, and there is no true right or wrong here.
It's just tough for me to understand the other viewpoint. I mean, here we are trying to have kids. My wife is sad about that, as she is approaching the critcal age.
So, looking at it from my perspective I just can't imagine someone taking a Disney vacation and wanting time away from their kids. I think "pool time" were the words used. A Disney run kid's club for a nice adult dinner... no problem at all with that. And a vacation to the Caribbean, or Europe, I can also understand a sitter in those situations. I just have a tough time understanding a sitter for your kids while at Walt Disney World.
Perhaps the inability to understand it is one of my own shortcomings.

Honestly, neither this post nor my others were meant to offend, belittle, or challenge any other posters parenting practices. I'm sure they are doing what's best for their family.

That doesn't mean I understand it, or agree with it.
But than again, I'm confused how anyone can be a Yankees fan either.

I should have gone with my first instinct, and kept my trap shut in this thread..

MG

First MG, I would like to wish you and your wife all the best and hopefully soon you will be blessed with the child you have been hoping for.
Also, MG's opinions are not necessarily different than people who do have children. We have been going to WDW since our oldest child was 9 months old. He is now 18 and his sister is 16. We never felt a need or wanted to bring anyone with us to have help or to allow us adult time together. We cherished every moment of family time with the kids and always knew we should enjoy it while we could. And guess what? We continue to love our family time together on our yearly WDW trips and now the time has come (and very quickly I might add) that we have the added bonus, if we want it, to enjoy a little time alone together. We still rarely do go off alone, maybe a walk around the boardwalk or a quick drink in the hotel lounge. It's usually the kids who want to go off for some teenage time! We have always wanted to savor all the time we had with our children at WDW. For us, this is the way we have enjoyed our vacations. That doesn't mean it will work for the OP, she needs to do what's right for her. But, since she asked, I'm giving my opinion. It just happens to be the same as Maistre Gracey. I wish the OP all the best on her trip and with whatever she decides.

 

[papabear4]

We cherished every moment of family time with the kids and always knew we should enjoy it while we could.

Seriously? Every moment of family time? You set the bar mighty high. I hope my DW doesn't read that because she'll feel guilty for wanting a break now and then, and then I'll never get her out of the house for a date!

OP: We've always brought grandparents along with us on trips (they thank us for being generous enough [their words, not mine] to share our FOUR kids with them so they can have those amazing Disney experiences together!), but if we were ever lucky enough to have an au pair, we'd bring her along in a heartbeat! We're hoping to have one from China someday, since our youngest DD is Chinese...can you imagine what a great experience going to WDW would be for her? (the au pair, I mean)

Good luck with your decision!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Seriously? Every moment of family time?

If you know someone who has ever lost a child ask that person...yes, every moment is cherished...even the difficult, frustrating, annoying, tantrum-having ones.

 

[papabear4]

If you know someone who has ever lost a child ask that person...yes, every moment is cherished...even the difficult, frustrating, annoying, tantrum-having ones.

Whoa, no fair. This isn't about whether or not we're appreciating our kids. This thread is about what might make a good vacation, for pete's sake.

When our daughter was undergoing open-heart surgery last fall, we didn't leave her bedside for a moment. And then my DW was glued to her side for two months after that to make sure she didn't fall or get bumped. We get how wonderful it is to be a parent, and we are grateful every day for their very existence.

Please don't infer that those of us who might want to bring "help" along on our vacation don't cherish our children. In the cosmic sense we "cherish every moment of family time," but in the day-to-day, we need a break now and then. If you don't, more power to you.

I can't believe I've gotten pulled into defending our parenting skills! DW warned me this sort of thing happens on here. I'd better get back to planning our BWV vacation....

 

[3DisneyKids]

Actually, that was not my intent at all. My other posts in thus thread clearly state that the OP needs to do what is right for HER family.

My comment was made to you directly because you seemed to be judging someone else's parenting style. I have no doubt that you and your wife were deeply concerned with DD's condition and recovery. And I am equally sure that you are wonderful and loving parents....regarless of whether or not you use babysitters, a nanny, grand parents or whatever.

However, your comment really came across as demeaning so I chose to put it in some sort of perspective, that's all. It was meant more as a reality check than anything else. Of course these boards are about Disney and planning our vacations, etc.

Peace...and I truly mean that.

 

[papabear4]

My comment was made to you directly because you seemed to be judging someone else's parenting style. I have no doubt that you and your wife were deeply concerned with DD's condition and recovery. And I am equally sure that you are wonderful and loving parents....regarless of whether or not you use babysitters, a nanny, grand parents or whatever.

However, your comment really came across as demeaning so I chose to put it in some sort of perspective, that's all. It was meant more as a reality check than anything else. Of course these boards are about Disney and planning our vacations, etc.

Peace...and I truly mean that.

Wow, it took me aback that you thought my comment was demeaning. I actually thought I was defending parents, not judging anyone. There is so much pressure to be "perfect" parents nowadays that I guess my instinct is to jump in and let people know that even those of us who look like we have it all together (we have four great kids, one of whom is adopted), sometimes find it a struggle to cherish every moment, as the other OP put it. There's nothing wrong with needing time alone, or with your spouse. I do apologize that my remarks came across as demeaning. I guess my own feelings of inadequency as a parent are coming through.

Back to the OP: I appreciate the advice from people here who've traveled with nannies, etc., especially about setting expectations ahead of time. It would be unfortunate to get to WDW and find out that everyone had different ideas about how the vacation would play out.

 

[SuperLlama!]

I have never taken a nanny or babysitter on vacation, but then again, I don't have one Would I if I had one? Probably!

However, I do know a woman who was a live in nanny right after college (a well to do family from church hired her to look after their school age children, and as she was an early education major, she thought it would provide some practical experience before entering the teaching profession full force) ... anyway, she had mixed feelings on the experience of going to WDW with them. She loved the kids, but shared that it was more of a "work" experience than she had anticipated. She was with the kids the majority of the time, taking them to the parks solo, as well as her usual daily duties. She seemed to think that the parents would have spent more time with the kids and that she would have had more time to herself, which she didn't. For her the experience was working at WDW while the parents went their own ways. The parents had taken previous nannies to WDW, and I suppose just assumed the new nanny would know what to expect.

Based on her experience, I think I would *clearly* define what is and is not expected so there are no hard feelings or misunderstandings.

Did you talk to the babysitter about this? If she is your child's pre-school teacher, can she afford to take the time off from her regular job to come along with you? If she only gets a set amount of vacation time, she may wish to use it for something for herself, rather than on a working vacation.

Also, something I would take in to consideration is the relationship you have with this woman -- it seems as though the two of you are on a friendly basis, not just professional. Would being on the trip make her feel as less of a friend and more of a hired hand?

 

[TravelingJen24]

We booked a two bedroom just in case everything goes this direction. I have mentioned to her that we are looking into a trip in Nov. and whether she would be willing to come and help with the children. I also told her that I would like to do a mini trip before July, maybe to Dis for a weekend to see how the children and us adapted. I think I would like her to come to the parks in the morning with us for extra hands and then stay in the room a couple of nights while the children went to sleep so that we could get some alone time. My husband works very hard and loves our children, but never gets to sleep in. I want hime to be able to take a break a couple of mornings while she and I took the kids to the park. I would never expect her, nor be personally comfortable with her taking the kids to the park by herself. Not because I don't trust her, but because that is still my job and she has never been there. Other then that I would allow her to do as she wished during the day. She would be more then welcomed to sit with us by the pool or go to the mall with us but if she wanted some alone time, I would be completely understanding of that also. It would be to her benefit to do dinner with us because we love eating in Epcot and wouls obviously pay. She has never been to Disneyworld and has told me that she probably would never be able to afford to go. I would hope this would be an opportunity that everyone could benefit from.
I am very friendly with our babysitter, staying an extra hour at the preschool when I pick up my son to just chat, but we do have an overall business feeling to our relationship.

P.S. I would really like to have an extra set of hands on the plane!!!

I appreciate that everyone has different parenting style and I don't think it reflects poorly on us that we want some help. I love my children and almost lost our son, now four, a year and a half ago when he had a seizure at the doctor's office and actually died for a few seconds. I know what it feels to lose someone, even outside this. I cherise my children more then anything, but I am human and this human needs a break once in awhile. Of course we could be taking a trip somewhere else where we could relax more, but this is where my son wants to go, so we do. My husband and I just need a break to and I also believe in the more the merrier!! Thanks everyone!

 

[alldiz]

Yeah....I bring grandma
Kerri

 

[mmmcq]

TravelingJen24

We're just back from HH and I just posted a thread and happened to catch yours below mine.....so I haven't read all of the posts in this thread.

When my teens were younger and I was working full-time I had sitters and had them in day care full time/part time depending on my job. When my 3rd child was born 9 years later we hired a nanny fulltime because the logistics were so complicated with two older children entering middle school, etc.

When we hired her we made an annual agreement and that included paying her while we were on vacation. We tend to travel 3-4 weeks/year because we go to WDW often, travel to NY to see my sister, travel to CA to see my DH's family, we ski in Feb for a week, go to a beach for a week during the summer and we usually travel someplace warm in April. That's a lot of paid time off, but it's our choice to travel with our kids when they are out of school. It's why we bought into DVC instead of buying a 2nd home (we actually had one and sold it).

Of the three nannies that we had two would typically take that time off for themselves. Once or twice, however, we took a nanny with us and once we had her bring a friend. We outlined a specific schedule for the week when she was "on" and we gave her two days or more "off" to enjoy on her own with a friend. It always worked out well. We got an extra room and everyone had their own space.

One of those trips was a family wedding in CA and having the extra hands on the coast to coast flight was fabulous. We also didn't have to worry during the rehearsal dinner, etc. It was well worth the extra expense and I think our nanny had a great trip.

Having a sitter you know well when you have smaller kids is extremely comforting and reassuring - and it does give you some personal time on your vacation. Although we have used DVC kids night out facilities and even babysitters at WDW, we would much prefer our own nannies. Now that I have teens......we still use the DVC kids program for our younger one, but I don't have to rely on sitters as much.

The downside of bringing a nanny is the cost of the flight/extra room/board, etc.....and you do have the extra person with you. Sometimes you all need a break from one another!

Have a great time no matter what you decide.

 

[Luigi's Girl]

Seriously? Every moment of family time? You set the bar mighty high. I hope my DW doesn't read that because she'll feel guilty for wanting a break now and then, and then I'll never get her out of the house for a date!

OP: We've always brought grandparents along with us on trips (they thank us for being generous enough [their words, not mine] to share our FOUR kids with them so they can have those amazing Disney experiences together!), but if we were ever lucky enough to have an au pair, we'd bring her along in a heartbeat! We're hoping to have one from China someday, since our youngest DD is Chinese...can you imagine what a great experience going to WDW would be for her? (the au pair, I mean)

Good luck with your decision!

Well, yes seriously! I didn't realize I was setting the bar mighty high with that comment and I mean that with no disrespect to you. That is just the way my DH and myself always felt as our children were growing up. I never said everyone else had to feel the same way as I do. The rough times are soon forgotten (kind of like in the way the pain of giving birth is), but the magical times are remembered and cherished forever. We always figured we could have a break when we're back at home. Today we have more than enough breaks and miss those cherished family moments. Can't wait for our trip to WDW in November where we can conjure up so many of thoses memories we made through the years with our chidren at our sides.