Girls trip, I'm booking my own room..not sharing.... now there's drama...

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

The problem is that "B" is stirring the pot, basically running her mouth. She is a pot stirrer and loves drama.... I got a nasty email from "B" and I did not even respond back. Which only made her madder, that I won't play along. So apparently things have gotten out of hand with her trying to tell everyone who they are going to room and telling everyone what the trip itinerary is that she has decided on what's best for the group to point that several more ladies have dropped out. Normally we just get where we are going and decide then. This is the first time that "B" has been the point person for one of our trips...

Couple of comments here:
1) If the sharing the room thing is more mainly about costs why not just have the girls talk about who they want to share with themselves. I mean...they are adults I would assume they can be trusted to say "hey I'll share with you". Or do you normally have the point person designate people to rooms?

2) You've already said you typically get your own room so there's no real shocker that you'd do the same for this Vegas trip.

3) I'm going to say with what you've written and not knowing the people that this is more about "B" being the first time as the point person and people not following with what she hopes would happen. Where it gets all downhill is "B" not taking a step back and adjusting her expecatations of what being a point person for the girls trips mean. I'm assuming she already knows you typically get your own room so it's like she's taking the fact that she's the point person as her word/plans are what is going to happen--regardless of how past trips went. It could be hurt feelings on her end (not due to what anyone else has done) and instead of bucking up and deal with it she's lashing out in quite the immature way.

I do agree that it could be the begininng of the end of the trips or at least how they were in the past. It happens as lives changes and priorities shift. Maybe low-key trips might be more in your future or even just a few nights over time instead for girls night out.

*I don't really blame you for backing out by the way*

 

[Marchand63]

Chiming in - not offended.

We do girls trip & most of us get our own rooms. There is actually only 1 gf I ever room with. We live in 2 different states so we end up all night at least once a trip.

 

[dish rag]

Go with guy friends next time and avoid the drama.

 

[Shanti]

Every year a group of my girl friends we plan a getaway for a girl long weekend. This year is Vegas, some shows, gambling, spa time, shopping and plenty of adult beverages... woo hoo...

So we got together for lunch to discuss what our options are, and where we want to stay, flights, and shows we might try to see.

So during the conversations, I reminded everyone that I wasn't 100% sure I would be able to go, but it wouldn't matter as I was booking my own room, and flight. So it didn't mess with anyone else plans. We are building a house, and our youngest daughter is having another baby and lives out of state... so I have a lot going on...

A few years ago I started doing this on our girls trips, just booking my own room, and I love it. So this is not the 1st time I have planned to do this. I am the type of person when I want to go to bed, I'm going to go to bed, I hate sharing a bathroom, and love having a king bed all to myself for a couple of nights. I am light sleeper, back and neck issue and sometimes I have to get up in the middle of the night and do stretch's, and really.... I just don't want to share... It's my time for me so if I am paying for it what's the dang big deal.

So after lunch we were all sitting around, catching up and chatting. One of the other ladies (lets call her K"), said it looks like we are sharing... I was like "what?" ... oh I said, I'm sorry, I'm not sure if I am even going, who told you we were sharing. So when she told me who told her (let use the initial "B"), I went straight to the source, and said why did you tell her that I am sharing with her, you know that I don't even know if I am going, yet... and if I do I am staying alone in the room that I am paying for. "B" said well to bad your going to have to share this trip, I said No! I'm not and that's that and ended the conversation.... I did speak to "K" and let her know that I was unsure if I was going and that it was not personal, and that did tell the everyone that my situation, she was fine with it and she completely understood.

There are a couple of other ladies that have since dropped out due to personal family stuff that they are not going to be able to go... So "K" has a room-mate.

The problem is that "B" is stirring the pot, basically running her mouth. She is a pot stirrer and loves drama.... I got a nasty email from "B" and I did not even respond back. Which only made her madder, that I won't play along. So apparently things have gotten out of hand with her trying to tell everyone who they are going to room and telling everyone what the trip itinerary is that she has decided on what's best for the group to point that several more ladies have dropped out. Normally we just get where we are going and decide then. This is the first time that "B" has been the point person for one of our trips...

After all this I just did a group email and bowed out and said I just can't make it right now.

So my question is would you be offended if someone in your group paid for their own room and did not want to share?

I think you know the answer. No logical person would be offended, and B is not a true friend. I would not vacation with her any longer.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

See there is just no way in heck I would travel with someone like B. There's just no reason to subject oneself to that.

My husband goes on a couple of golf trips every year with the same 10 or 11 guys. They rent a huge house and all get along great. They've been doing it for over 20 years. One guy initially pays for everything (home, airline tickets, liquor, golf fees, van rentals and groceries) and at the end of the trip he adds it all up and divides it by how many guys are there and they split the bill evenly. It doesn't matter what you ate, drank or if you shared a room with another. I can't imagine a group of 10 or 11 women doing the same. It seems not genetically possible.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I wouldn't be offended either. There are times when I wouldn't mind sharing, but I'm a wicked early bird, and would probably want my own room on a trip like you described.

 

[Marchand63]

Go with guy friends next time and avoid the drama.

Are you kidding The guys are work with have way more drama then any girls.

 

[jevs]

Another one who would be booking my own room. I'm a little too old to be having sleepovers and sharing a room unless it was with someone hot of the opposite sex

 

[Sabeking]

What episode of Real Housewives was this? Jk Yes, I would mad....that I didn't think of it first! I just don't like that many people as much as my privacy.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

No I wouldn't be offended.

For our girls trips we always share rooms so if someone wanted their own room everyone would be confuzzled. I will only share a room with people I actually like and vibe with. For us it makes the trip more fun. No one ever has trouble sleeping since we're usually trashed by the end of the night so we just crash.

None of us would ever assign roommates.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

Go with guy friends next time and avoid the drama.

......and don't get your own room....



( just KIDDING! Am I really the only one thinking that?!)

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

In the past, has ms. B ALWAYS made all the plans for everyone? She sounds like she has control issues.

I definitely would not be traveling with her again. She doesn't sound like a good friend. Maybe you and some of your friends can have a get away without her.

 

[firefly_ris]

I can't wrap my head around people like that. There is so much stress in just regular day to day life crap, why in the world would someone want to create more drama like that?! I know there's plenty of them out there, I just don't understand it. I think cancelling is the wise choice.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I would also be paying for my own room. I'm only really comfortable sleeping with family members in the same room (DH and our boys). I am also OK sharing a room with my mom or my sister. That's about it. I wouldn't be happy if someone tried to force a roommate on me.

This reminds me of one of DH's college friends. She had to control everyone and everything. She made everything all about her. One time all of the girls were going to a baby shower about two hours from where DH and were living at the time. I arranged to ride with someone who was also going. When she picked me up that morning, she said, "Oh, we have to pick up Lisa on the way." I said, "OK, but doesn't Lisa live in X and won't that add a lot of time to the trip?" She said, "Yes, but M called me last night and basically ordered me to pick her up. I guess maybe Lisa doesn't have access to a car. It will add about an hour to the trip, but we should still get there in time." So when we got to Lisa's house, she got in the car and said, "You guys really didn't have to pick me up. I was going to drive myself, but M called last night and said you guys insisted on coming to get me." Hmmmmm....really? Because M ordered us to get her, like we were her only option to get there. Turns out M just felt like controlling everyone. There was no other reason for her to get involved in everyone's transportation plans.

 

[Nettester]

I think B's behavior is really odd. I can't wrap my mind around why she would even care whether or not some of the group shared rooms or some chose to reserve their own. It sounds more like something that would be important to someone planning a middle school camping trip rather than an adult ladies girls weekend trip. And then she wants to control everyone adhering to a strict itinerary? it sounds like she's trying to control too many people to do the same thing at the same time, which is a recipe for disaster. I'd prefer to vacation with a more flexible, go-with-the-flow group. Yes, I would definitely want my own room. I once had to share a room with a relative stranger on a work trip when I was first out of college. It was just really awkward, but I was too young and not assertive enough to speak up to get my own. Now I definitely would get my own room.

 

[LovesTimone]

OP here, Thanks for all your responses.

We are all in our 50's, and I have had my share of sleepovers. Once in a while I will share with my friend that lives out of state as we only get to see each other maybe once every 2 or 3 years. So we stay up all night and really catch up, last year... her and I went the route of a 2 bedroom suite, w/2 bathrooms and it really worked out well. Her and I are planning a trip for next year and going to do the same thing.

The Problem with "B" is this is the first time that she was the point person, and really all the point person does, is host for the lunch planning get together and scope out things to do, all different price point, basically a little planning, arrival time and departure times, so if someone wants to share a ride to the airport or not they know who's leaving when, and if someone wants to share. Not unless... if we rent a house on the beach or cabin in the mountain there always has to be the point person for the rental. We always have are own rooms.

I am not really friends with "B", she is a friend of a friend that started going with us about 6 or 7 years ago. I have never spent any one on one time with her like shopping, or lunch.... the only time I really see her is in a group setting. When her Dad passed away, I did take some food over to the house, and card. We have always been pleasant and friendly to each other. So I am not sure if she is always like this or what.

So instead of going with them, I might treat myself to a day at the spa..

 

[Disney Doll]

No one would be telling me what I was going to do on my vacation.

With all you have potentially happening at that time, I'd bow out too.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I don't do girls trips with people I don't really care for and my real friends know this. They know if X, y or z is going then I won't be going. It's not in a bratty way of "it's me or her" but I just can't spend too much time with people that I annoy me. So I would've bowed out also.

 

[Nancyg56]

I don't do girls trips with people I don't really care for and my real friends know this. They know if X, y or z is going then I won't be going. It's not in a bratty way of "it's me or her" but I just can't spend too much time with people that I annoy me. So I would've bowed out also.

I agree. I think that having more than a few women on any trip is a recipe for disaster anyway. My sister and I have traveled together when there are events with the girls, and we will book a few rooms for us. It is family though, and I think that makes a difference. A group of women when there is already a control freak trying to lay down the law? Nope.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I agree. I think that having more than a few women on any trip is a recipe for disaster anyway. My sister and I have traveled together when there are events with the girls, and we will book a few rooms for us. It is family though, and I think that makes a difference. A group of women when there is already a control freak trying to lay down the law? Nope.

Control freaks are the worst. It is control freaks that are friends and friends of friends that I refuse to travel with. I will hang out in a group with them or do lunch as a group but never one on one or a girls trip.

I prefer tops 5 women on one trip. I did do a bachelorette party and I shared a room with 8 other women. I was hesitant about sharing with that many women but we had a penthouse suite so I went for it. We had an AWESOME time. I was actually surprised. Now the bride is a complete control freak and ruined the whole trip for herself (she was in a separate room with her MOH and separate friends) but us 9 still had fun on our own.