HELP me get my 6 month old to sleep! PLEASE! (update post 74)

[chloe770]

DD is 6 months old and still will not sleep threw the night. I am literally in her room every hour all night long trying to get her to sleep. She was just at her well visit on Tuesday so I know she is pysically fine. She just won't sleep. I've tries feeding her, rocking her, holding her, letting her cry...nothing seems to work. Not to sound selfish but I don't know how much more I can pysically take. I'm exhausted. I just don't know what I am doing wrong. This is the happiest baby in the world too, so I know it's not effecting her as much as it is me. ANY suggestions? I'm willing to try just about anything at this point.
Thanks for listing to my vent.

 

[superme80]

Is she teething? When DS started teething he was a pain the rear end! The ONLY thing that calmed him down was his speak and say Farm Animal toy. I HATE The Farmer in the Dell now! If she is try some teething tablets. They seem to work pretty good. Also when DS was about 8 months the only other thing that calmed him down was putting him in his bouncer and popping in Alice in Wonderland.

 

[bumbershoot]

I really loved the Dr Sears Baby Book. It helped me know the things that were going on in DS's baby mind, so that I could help my adult mind chill the heck out.

Is sleeping through the night at 6 months even normal? Sure wasn't in my house. Woke to nurse all night long; thank goodness for our family bed so I could just sleep through it as much as possible (probably not at 6 months though, but later).

Have you considered bringing baby into the grownup room? Wee ones do enjoy having their "pack" around, just like all mammals. Could help everyone sleep a bit better.

 

[moepanz]

I feel your pain. My oldest NEVER slept thru the night. Just like your child he was the happiest baby in the world so the pediatrician would say he looks well rested and happy, you are just not used to being up etc. It really was awful. Even my mom was like well this is what it is to have a baby in the house... That all changed the night I had to leave him at her house overnight. I hate to tell you this but my son is 7 now and the only thing that worked was a TV in is room. (I will put flame suit on now) It is not bad parenting it works for me for those about to pounce I also have 4 year old b/g twins my dd sleeps like a dream and her brother also a great sleeper. OP, feel free to PM me to chat. I know how awful this is and can be so frustrating and people can be so insensitive. Good Luck!

 

[chloe770]

Is she teething? When DS started teething he was a pain the rear end! The ONLY thing that calmed him down was his speak and say Farm Animal toy. I HATE The Farmer in the Dell now! If she is try some teething tablets. They seem to work pretty good. Also when DS was about 8 months the only other thing that calmed him down was putting him in his bouncer and popping in Alice in Wonderland.

I'm sure she is probably teething. She gnaws on everything she can get her hands on. But she is always happy and calm unless she is hungry and I'm not feeding her fast enough. The girl is seroius about her food. LOL

I feel your pain. My oldest NEVER slept thru the night. Just like your child he was the happiest baby in the world so the pediatrician would say he looks well rested and happy, you are just not used to being up etc. It really was awful. Even my mom was like well this is what it is to have a baby in the house... That all changed the night I had to leave him at her house overnight. I hate to tell you this but my son is 7 now and the only thing that worked was a TV in is room. (I will put flame suit on now) It is not bad parenting it works for me for those about to pounce I also have 4 year old b/g twins my dd sleeps like a dream and her brother also a great sleeper. OP, feel free to PM me to chat. I know how awful this is and can be so frustrating and people can be so insensitive. Good Luck!

My DS now 7 never slept thru until he was 3 either. I just don't remember him being this bad. Now he sleeps like a rock. Nothing will wake that boy.

I really loved the Dr Sears Baby Book. It helped me know the things that were going on in DS's baby mind, so that I could help my adult mind chill the heck out.

Is sleeping through the night at 6 months even normal? Sure wasn't in my house. Woke to nurse all night long; thank goodness for our family bed so I could just sleep through it as much as possible (probably not at 6 months though, but later).

Have you considered bringing baby into the grownup room? Wee ones do enjoy having their "pack" around, just like all mammals. Could help everyone sleep a bit better.

I'll have to check out that book. We have tried to bring her into our room. She then wants to play all night. She's not a big cuddler either . Doesn't want to be held when she's tired(or at all for that matter). She falls asleep really easily in her room at night, just doesn't stay asleep.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm a big fan of CIO (and actually think it's better to spend a few days teaching babies to sleep, than have their sleep interupted for the next few years). However, if you choose the CIO route, you have to do it right. Otherwise, you are just torturing the baby and yourself, for no reason. I used the Ferber method with ds12, and my twins (only one needed it, but since his roommate was CIO, he had to go along). My other 2 slept throught the night on their own. You need to read up on a method, and stick to it. After 2 nights, my ds went from no naps, and waking every 3 hours at night, to a 9 - 11 am/2 - 4pm nap schedule, sleeping from 8 pm - 7 am. He was such a happier baby!

 

[POOHDRMR]

I feel for you,my ds is almost 6 months old and would wake up every 15-60 minutes all night long.He had no problem going to sleep by himself(wouldn't even cry when you put him in the crib)and then would sleep for an hour and a half-2 hours(like a nap)and then be up over and over.He would always be rubbing his face,picking up his legs and moving around.Finally I tried to swaddle him again to see if it was just the moving keep him up-doctor said everything was good with him and he had already been put on cereal for reflux so he wasn't even taking a bottle untill around 5.The first night I swaddled him he slept.He woke up 2 times and I gave him the pacifier back and he went right back out.He did this for a few nights but then he started getting out of the swaddle again(I had swaddled him when he was a newborn but he didn't like it and would cry and fight and get his arms out)He always liked to nap on my chest but hated being on his belly for tummy time so once he learned how to roll he would roll onto his back but the week he started being swaddled he kept looking like he was trying to roll on his tummy(another reason I stopped using it,I was afraid he would roll over and not have his hands to push up if he needed)Sure enough he rolled himself onto his belly and slept all night-I kept checking on him being afraid because he was so quite!If you put him on his back he goes back on his belly or side and now he SLEEPS.It has been almost a month and if he is having a bad night he gets up 2 times for his pacifier,but most nights he goes down around 8-8:30 and starts getting up around 7-7:30 when my dd gets up for school.Over the weekend he slept till 9:30.People ask me now how he sleeps and when I tell them they are like oh you have it so easy.Ya right-the 5 months of hell was easy!I was going crazy before-I actually sat in my car one day thinking okay the gas is the right pedal,brake left right?cause I was so tired.I knew that it wouldn't stay that way forever but it felt like it.He had also been teething(his bottom 2 are breaking through right now)When I would tell the doctor they told me to let him cry himself back to sleep but thst didn't help because he was so restless he would be up in a few minutes again.If I put him in my bed I would hold his one hand so he couldn't rub his face but he would use the other hand!So I really can feel for you and I hope that she finds her way soon.Hang in there I know it is really hard.

 

[DisneyMama629]

I highly recommend Dr. Ferber's book, Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems. Your post is basically word for word what I wrote on another forum when my son was about that age. He is 11 months old now and sleeps from 8-7 everyday with no interruptions. If you follow Ferber's method it truly does work. Good luck. I remember how exhausting it was to be up all night.

 

[shelby101301]

((hugs) I know this is hard. We chose CIO (Crying it out) for our oldest and youngest, but couldn't for our middle who was adopted (because of abandonment and bonding issues)

CIT worked great for our son, but he did have to spend several months CIO for about 15 min every time he went to sleep. What helped was a baby video monitor - I could watch him and make sure he was OK.

Was amazed that it took him 3 months to learn this. He didn't sleep through the night until he was 9 mos old.

With middle, we used CIO, but I would be close by. I wouldn't pick her up, but I started holding her hand, then moved to a chair, then sat on the floor by her door. Interestingly, it took about the same time, not longer as I expected.

my youngest I 've used both. Sometimes he has to CIO, but for a short while, I had to do what I did with middle child. I just got a pillow for my back, and a crossword puzzle book, and he worked through it in a few months.

6 mos old is old enough to try CI, but I agree with PP, you have to pick a method and stick with it, or you "torture" as they put it, bot you and the baby.

a few months of hard times now, is SO worth it. Kids who don't sleep get followed by a multitude a problems and can falsely get accused of things like ADD and ADHD just from lack of sleep.

Hang in there kiddo, you can do this. It's one of the hardest things to do, but you can do it. I know you are tired, and it can seem hopeless but that's because you are sleep deprived. I promise, this too will pass.

 

[vettechick99]

We also CIO. In fact, I did a modified CIO from 5 weeks on. She has always slept on her own. I would get the Babywise book and see if you can use their strategies.

 

[brergnat]

Dr. Ferber is the reason why I have kids that are 4 and 6 and sleep EVERY night from 7:30pm-6:30am. Straight. Since they were each 4 months old.

The guy is amazing and his method WORKS.

I hate to say it, but it's YOUR fault that your baby is up every night. You keep going in there.

If you think she's teething, give her a dose of Infant Tylenol before bed, feed her, and put her down. She should not be up every hour. She knows that if she is up, she will get attention from YOU. She is manipulating you. You'd got to get that turned around. YOU are the boss.

An exhausted mommy is not a good one. You need your rest too. Take charge!

 

[chloe770]

Ok so I'm gonna try the CIO method, but does it work at getting dd back to sleep? I have no problem at all getting to to sleep. I put her down awake give her a kiss and binky, then off I go. She is usually asleep within 5 minutes. It's keeping her asleep that's the problem.

 

[Magic2000]

Yes, it will work for getting them to go back to sleep.

I have 3 DDs, and NONE of them ever slept well as babies. My first DD never slept through the night until she was 2 yrs old (when I took the bottle away for good, she started sleeping through the night. If I would have known that, I would have taken it away much earlier!! lol)

For my middle DD, I did try the "cry it out" method (her pediatrician suggested it, as well as many friends & family). She usually woke up around 1:30 or 2:00 am, and wanted a bottle. The first night, she cried for about 30 minutes (although it seemed like a LOT longer). The second night, she cried about 15 or 20 minutes. By the third or fourth night, she was sleeping through the night. Sometimes after about 4 or 5 months of sleeping really good, she'd start waking up again and we'd have to "cry it out". It really did work. (I did go in her room just to make sure everything was ok, but I never picked her up) Once she was about 18 months or so, it was no longer a problem and she slept all night.

For my youngest DD, the "cry it out" method wouldn't work for her because if you let her cry too much, she'd throw up. She was also a sickly baby, so we didn't sleep much those first two years or so.

It's really hard to listen to them cry, but if you can stick it out, it really does work on getting them to sleep through the night. Good luck!!!!!

 

[cs037]

Please don't CIO without researching alternatives. 6 month old babies (not to mention younger than that) are not meant to sleep through the night. They need to be fed and cuddled, just as much at nighttime as during the day. Babies hold less food, digest faster, and thusly need nourishment more often than adults. Infants are not meant to be left alone to sleep. CIO is not without negative results for the baby. Yes, even though many babies have been put through the CIO system, and made it out "just fine" doesn't mean that it is okay.

I have done quite a bit of research on this, please feel free to PM me if you would like links or a book list on alternatives of "crying it out".... good luck!

(Oh, and before I get flamed- I am not out to judge other parents, just offering my advice about what works for my family. I have a child who co-slept and never had a problem transitioning her to her own bed. She also never had a bedtime issue- no refusing to go to sleep, no monsters, no afraid of dark, etc)

 

[jjiillee]

I love Dr. Ferber's book, Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems. It worked for all 3 of my children. It is hard at first but with this method you don't let them cry for hrs on end. You go to them after a certain amount of time depending what phase you are on. So you aren't just letting them cry themselves to sleep. My DS is now 16 mos and sleeps 12 hrs at night, without waking. He did this from about 6 months on useing the Ferber method. I only ever had to let him cry for about 15 min at most.
Good Luck, I know how you feel , lack of sleep is the worst!

 

[kandt]

Dr. Ferber is the reason why I have kids that are 4 and 6 and sleep EVERY night from 7:30pm-6:30am. Straight. Since they were each 4 months old.

The guy is amazing and his method WORKS.

I hate to say it, but it's YOUR fault that your baby is up every night. You keep going in there.

If you think she's teething, give her a dose of Infant Tylenol before bed, feed her, and put her down. She should not be up every hour. She knows that if she is up, she will get attention from YOU. She is manipulating you. You'd got to get that turned around. YOU are the boss.

An exhausted mommy is not a good one. You need your rest too. Take charge!

I have to disagree that it is the mother's fault. I have 2 children and used Ferber's method with each both of them. My youngest only took 1 night and then she slept through the night. My oldest, however, did not catch on for a few months. All kids are different. I truely believe CIO works for many, but not every child.

OP-I'm sorry your baby is not sleeping. I wish you luck!

 

[amylynne01]

I hate to say it, but it's YOUR fault that your baby is up every night. You keep going in there.

Yikes. This is awfully rude. Some babies just plain don't sleep well. I refuse to do CIO on my children because if they're upset, they need something. They can't tell me that they're hot or that they're uncomfortable or that their teeth hurt, so it's up to me to figure out the cries. If my child is crying, I will not allow them to cry until they fall asleep. That's just mean. How would you like it if you were crying because you were hurt, and NO ONE came to your rescue?

My DD2 just turned 1 and started sleeping through the night just 2 weeks ago. Was I exhausted? Yup. Was I annoyed? Yup. Do I blame her sleeping habits on myself? Never. I did everything exactly the same as I did with DD1 who slept through the night at 3 months. I have 2 different children, one who would sleep through a tornado, and one who liked to be up at all hours. She also got a bottle at night until just recently too! A PP said that a 6 month old is not meant to sleep through the night, and I agree. Babies need love, comfort, and security ALL night, not just until bedtime.

 

[GingerJay]

This is pretty different from what most of the others have had to say, but I wanted to suggest "white noise". It worked like a charm on all three of my kids- they have a little noise box that produces "white noise" that you can hook to the crib or you can just get a radio and tune it in to a staticky channel. Maybe that will help

 

[bwilcox]

Yikes. This is awfully rude. Some babies just plain don't sleep well. I refuse to do CIO on my children because if they're upset, they need something. They can't tell me that they're hot or that they're uncomfortable or that their teeth hurt, so it's up to me to figure out the cries. If my child is crying, I will not allow them to cry until they fall asleep. That's just mean. How would you like it if you were crying because you were hurt, and NO ONE came to your rescue?

Babies don't wake up and cry every hour at night because they are hurt. They haven't yet learned how to soothe themselves back to sleep. It is NOT mean to teach a baby something they need to learn.

OP: CIO worked with my kids (I started at around 6 months). I would suggest putting a Fisher Price aquarium in the crib. There is a button the can push or kick if they wake up, and it turns on soothing sounds. That helped my babies get back to sleep-watching that little fish. I also had a video monitor so I could watch them when they were crying to make sure they weren't hurt. My first one slept straight through the night in 3 nights. The second on was a little more stubborn-it took about 2 weeks for her to stop waking at night except to go back to sleep on her own. Don't let anyone convince you you are being "mean" to your child if you want to try the CIO method. Getting adequate sleep will be good for your child, and it is not selfish to want adequate sleep for yourself. Being better rested will let you be a better mommy!

 

[brergnat]

Babies don't wake up and cry every hour at night because they are hurt. They haven't yet learned how to soothe themselves back to sleep. It is NOT mean to teach a baby something they need to learn.

Thank you. Geez, you'd think I was suggesting neglecting your baby.

A six month old CAN and SHOULD be able to self soothe back to sleep IF there is nothing else going on (illness, pain, extreme discomfort from some source).

I am going on the assumption that the OP is a good mother. I'm assuming that the baby is adequately (but not over) dressed, the room temp is where it should be, the baby is fed before bed, and has a dry diaper. If so, and that baby is STILL crying every hour (literally), it's because the baby KNOWS that the crying will bring mama straight into the room for "cuddling and comfort", which that baby does not NEED, but wants. A six month old baby needs uninterrupted, solid sleep. At least 11 hours per night. Look it up. It sounds to me like this baby is SLEEP DEPRIVED, since she is not able to sleep long stretches without waking, and this sleep deprivation is MUCH worse for a developing baby/child in the long run than a few moments here and there of crying and not getting a parental response.

OP, get educated on CIO and do it the RIGHT way. CIO does NOT mean "ignore your baby."

And yes, all kids are different. But, ALL people need to sleep. It's a requirement of our species. You are your child's teacher right now, and you have to help her learn to fall asleep on her own.

I am not trying to be harsh, but you can only put up with so much sleep deprivation yourself. Lack of sleep leads to stress, poor health, poor concentration, and can lead to accidents. If you have TRULY been up every hour of the night since your baby was born, your body and mind are going to start to break down very soon...