Kids Choosing to Skip Graduation?

[sk!mom]

I walked in my high school graduation because it didn't occur to me that not doing so was an option (I was valedictorian so I had to speak). I did NOT walk in my college graduation. Honestly not a big deal. I had a small school (about 50 in my class). My brother had about 800 in his class. I can definitely see not wanting to sit through that!

I'm a teacher who lives in a college town and I think this is pretty typical. A small percentage of high school grads don't walk because most don't realize that it's optional. At the University ceremony a much greater percentage choose to skip it.

I walked at both but would have skipped college grad had it not been very important to my DH. He sacrificed for me to go back and finish so if he wanted the ceremony then I felt like he deserved it as a thank you for his support. My DD21 will graduate college next year and I will definitely pressure her to walk, if necessary. DH and I have sacrificed, and spent, a lot for her debt free education and we want the ceremony even if she doesn't. She hasn't mentioned skipping it, though.

 

[Poohforyou]

My daughter graduates from high school in about 2 weeks. There hasn't been any discussion of her not walking but it wouldn't matter if there was. There are things in life that one needs to do that one might not want to.

 

[Tay N Evie's Mom]

I have twins who graduated from HS last year. DS walked, but DD didn't and I was fine with it. She came to the ceremony and watched her brother walk. Her BFF didn't walk either. I told my DD that she has to walk for her BA though. I told her If I'm paying all that money for her degree I'm gonna see her saunter across the stage! She's fine with that.

 

[aprilgail]

I did not go to my high school graduation- I was so happy to be done with high school that I did not want anything to do with it for one minute longer! I was certainly not into sitting there for a ceremony so I was happy not to go! I did not go to my Jr. High one either!

 

[Rockette]

I went to my high school graduation because it was a small class and I was genuinely friendly with everyone there. The last graduation I walked in was for undergrad, which I felt was a colossal waste of time, even though we did have a famous speaker he had clearly phoned it in.

I finished a joint masters program in which I didn't even walk in. I didn't even buy the cap/gown. I did it part time, so I didn't really feel a strong connection to the school at that point. Plus with the joint masters I'd have to sit through two ceremonies which were set one day and the next - no thanks.

 

[Frozen Canuck]

High school grad is a BIG deal here - it's a party similar to prom in the States and a once in a lifetime thing. Nothing short of being physically incapacitated could have stopped me from participating in mine nor DS from his. He graduated with a small class (76 students) so the ceremony was quite personal. All of them attended.

Yep. Agreeing with you for the second time today. Don't even get me started on prom down here. It took me ages to figure out that prom had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with any grand accomplishment. It was just an expensive dance/party. When my son was in Grade 10, there was all of this talk about prom coming up and I unsuccessfully tried to wrap my head around why they were starting to plan it with two years left to go until graduation.

Back home, graduation was a HUGE deal for us. Even the girl who had been hit by a drunk driver in Grade 9 and was in a coma for nearly a year, managed to make it back and "graduate" with her class. The graduation ceremony, dinner, and after-party were all rolled up into one event. It was the last opportunity we had to all hang out and celebrate together before everyone scattered across the globe. Nobody would miss that! In the U.S., there is the ceremony, which takes as long as it takes to get through the graduates, and then that is it. Private grad parties are HUGE in our area. Everyone (except us, it felt like), rents a tent for their back yard, has food catered, and gifts are (for the most part) expected if you attend. There was the odd private grad party in Canada, but that was the exception, rather than the rule. It is just a completely different approach to things between the two countries.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I walked at mine because it was just the "thing to do" I suppose. I wasn't particularly excited about it (high school/undergrad). Most of my Masters was done online, so I just sat that one out... no real point in attending that.

 

[rastahomie]

I only walked for HS because they told us No Walk - No Diploma

This. Not to mention, my mother would have murdered me.

I hated high school and wanted nothing more than to forget about it the day I walked out of that place for the last time. Given the option, I'd rather have done something more productive that Saturday, like, nothing at all.

 

[design_mom]

I'm a teacher who lives in a college town and I think this is pretty typical. A small percentage of high school grads don't walk because most don't realize that it's optional. At the University ceremony a much greater percentage choose to skip it.

I walked at both but would have skipped college grad had it not been very important to my DH. He sacrificed for me to go back and finish so if he wanted the ceremony then I felt like he deserved it as a thank you for his support. My DD21 will graduate college next year and I will definitely pressure her to walk, if necessary. DH and I have sacrificed, and spent, a lot for her debt free education and we want the ceremony even if she doesn't. She hasn't mentioned skipping it, though.

That sums it up for me. I participated in both high school and college graduation ceremonies. In high school, I didn't realize the ceremony was optional. In college, I would have happily skipped it but it was really important to my parents. They sacrificed a lot for me to go -- and I was the first in my family to graduate -- so I felt like I owed it to them.

 

[LilyWDW]

I walked in high school and college.

I went to a small high school so everyone was close and my parents paid quite a bit for my education (private school). So it was important.

I struggled a lot in college, even ended up on probation at one point before finding my place. So it was a big deal when I finally finished and everyone was so supportive that I felt that I owed it to them.

I did not walk at my grad school graduation even though I had planned on it. My mom was at the end of her battle with cancer (she actually passed exactly one week later) and she had been my biggest supporter. It didn't feel right to go to graduation without her there to cheer me on. The wonderful nurses and staff at the hospital she was in were amazing though. They got me a card, a little stuffed bear, and a cake. I will always remember that. My mom always said that no matter what, she would live until I finished... and she did.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Graduation. Two hours of rehearsal, An hour of agonizing stuffed shirts talking, 10 seconds in the spotlight an hour waiting for everyone else to get their 10 seconds in the spotlight. Finally we're out of here. Oh wait. We're not. We have to waste another hour of our time to go back and get our diploma tomorrow.

And don't get me started on kindergarten graduation

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I've never heard of kids not walking for HS graduation unless they hated their time there.

My son graduates HS next year and if he told me he didn't want to walk I would tell him it's not an option. It means a lot to me and his father to watch him walk the stage. I've taught my kids that sometimes you have to make sacrifices and this would be one of those times. Give dear ol' mom those 20 seconds of watching you walk across the stage. It means a lot to her.

Same with college. We will be paying and making sacrifices for him to attend. The least he can do is walk the stage for us.

He's never mentioned not walking. He's actually looking forward to it. He's been in the same district since kindergarten so it's the last "hoorah" with kids he's known since he was 5.

 

[mom2rtk]

If parents have been there supporting kids in all sorts of ways through high school and college, I don't think it's asking too much to have them walk. In most cases, they didn't do it all by themselves and parents were there to support in many ways.

I will say that it's quite handy that it's so close to Mother's Day (in many instances). Our oldest would have passed on both occasions (high school and college), but I asked for that as a Mother's Day gift and he was kind enough to oblige. I don't feel bad about it. I think it's important to teach a little gratitude along the way anyway.

When our second son graduated college last month I asked if he would have walked if I hadn't cared. He actually said he would have walked regardless, that he enjoyed seeing his friends graduate and sharing that experience.

I skipped my college graduation since I graduated a trimester early and was in another state. I wish I had gone, but didn't have the money or time off work to go.

 

[wgeo]

I'm not into ceremonies, but I'll do whatever the kids want, it's their deal not mine. So far, we've had kindergarten graduation, 5th grade graduation (which lasted for 2 1/2 hours and was torture), for the next few years we'll get to do 8th grade graduation which I've heard runs over 2 hours. It's gotten a bit ridiculous. But if the kids are excited and they wanna walk, then great. And if they'd rather go out to dinner or do something at the house, then great. I don't feel like it's something they need to do for my benefit.

 

[smokeyblue]

I think people should do what they want, but I feel like attending a high school graduation is bigger than one's self. It's not just about the graduate, but the people who brought them to that point. You are going not only acknowledge your accomplishment but to recognize your parents, your family, your teachers, your friends and anyone else that was part of getting you there academically, socially, emotionally and often times financially.

 

[MrsDuck]

Not walking at graduation was never an option for me... my mom would've killed me! She made me also walk at my college graduation but she finally let me skip my grad school graduation.

 

[Sabeking]

I guess I never really thought not to walk in high school. I have seen most kids walk here. Funny enough I did not walk when I graduated college. I constantly have dreams about missing exams or showing up in wrong exam room.... etc... Soneone told me years ago that people who have those dreams typically did not walk and hence did not gave proper closure. Who knows if that is statistically true, but I thought it was an interesting observation.

 

[scrhsa]

I half expected my daughter to opt out. She had a not so good experience in high school. She just wasn't connected to the school or to very many people there. But she was asked to read the welcome at the ceremony and she graduated with honors. So she walked and enjoyed it and waved buh-bye and said I'm done...lets go

 

[Felicis]

I wonder if it is the school structure here that makes the high school grad thing not such a big deal. Most people do complete high school, and to complete it isn't that big a deal as there are pathways to tertiary education before your final year at high school. You don't have to do every year at school to go on to get a degree, or qualification.

Same with prom, we don't do that. Don't get me wrong, they still have high school balls, which cost stupid money, but they don't have that whole pressure about king and Queen (long may this continue), it is more about getting dressed up and having a bit of fun.

 

[verleniahall]

I only walked for HS because they told us No Walk - No Diploma - I didn't attend my college graduation ceremony.

THis was our school as well - I would have rather just had a party at home while they were all sweating in the gym

Yep. Agreeing with you for the second time today. Don't even get me started on prom down here. It took me ages to figure out that prom had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with any grand accomplishment. It was just an expensive dance/party. When my son was in Grade 10, there was all of this talk about prom coming up and I unsuccessfully tried to wrap my head around why they were starting to plan it with two years left to go until graduation..

You have prom twice - JR year and SR year - JR's do fundraisers to pay for SR's prom - and SR's get ot make outlandish requests of the JR class!

I think my senior prom cost the JR class abotu 3 grand after our list of "wants" was met - that was LOT of magazine sales!