Kids Choosing to Skip Graduation?

[Luv Bunnies]

DS's high school class had 311 students. At graduation the other night, there were 287 participants. We know of one girl who graduated but chose not to attend the ceremony. She was in DS's drama class for four years and they did several shows together. I'm pretty sure it's not a matter of her being shy about being seen or walking across the stage. She told DS that graduation ceremonies just aren't her thing, and that her mom was OK with her not walking. They went to dinner and a show instead. It's totally her prerogative, but I guess I was a little surprised. I'm wondering how many of DS's classmates chose not to participate. I know there were some who didn't earn the necessary credits to graduate. I'm just curious as to how many earned the credits but chose not to walk. Is it that common of a thing?

 

[low-key]

I git it

 

[sonnyjane]

I walked in my high school graduation because it didn't occur to me that not doing so was an option (I was valedictorian so I had to speak). I did NOT walk in my college graduation. Honestly not a big deal. I had a small school (about 50 in my class). My brother had about 800 in his class. I can definitely see not wanting to sit through that!

 

[CarolAnn856]

I don't know of anyone who didn't walk for high school or college, but I do know many who didn't walk for grad school. I think that, as long as the graduate and their family are all comfortable with the decision, then they should do what works for them.

 

[tcufrog]

I walked for high school and undergrad but I didn't walk for grad school and neither did my dh. We didn't feel a strong connection to our grad schools.

 

[TCRAIG]

I don't know of anyone who didn't walk for high school or college, but I do know many who didn't walk for grad school. I think that, as long as the graduate and their family are all comfortable with the decision, then they should do what works for them.

I only walked for HS because they told us No Walk - No Diploma - I didn't attend my college graduation ceremony.

 

[powellrj]

My oldest DS didn't walk for HS and my middle DS didn't walk for college. To be honest, neither one was that into school at the time, so I didn't press it. My oldest was so excited about his college graduation that not only did he walk, he wanted an open house afterwards. My youngest was valedictorian so she was really into her graduation and she will graduate from college next spring and she is really excited about it, so I know she will walk for that one too.

 

[eeyore74]

I did not want to walk my hs graduation, but my family told me I had to. I hated that place and the people. I think my mother was so happy I made it to graduation, as most of my friends dropped out, that she forced the issue.

 

[Felicis]

It isn't a thing in my country. Different schools have some form of celebration, but not a formal graduation that involves academic robes etc. That is only at university level when you earn your degree. I didn't complete my final year of highschool, anyway, I went to University early instead.

 

[kimblebee]

If my daughter didn't want to, I would have no problem with it. I think it would upset my parents more.

It's not like the final exam for her to graduate includes seeing if she can walk across a stage.

We were taking about it recently actually. She will graduate next June (how did she get so big *sniff*) and I may not be able to attend. I will be having round two of my infusion treatment sometime in May so I may not feel up to attending. Plus, I have to avoid crowds because of the germs and stuff like that.

It will definitely be a case of wait and see what that day is like. It's not the best life to have, but it's what I have.

 

[indimom]

My nephews didn't walk for their high school graduation, they just weren't into it.
My daughter doesn't intend to walk for her college grad. Personally, I'm glad. Those things are so boring and long. lol

 

[PollyannaMom]

After sitting through a 2 1/2 hour ceremony for the 4th of his cousins last week (for which we had to arrive an hour early) DS informed everybody that we could just skip his in two years.

I'm hoping he changes his mind by then. It really is a big accomplishment, and I'd like the memory of the ceremony.

 

[mamamary]

My daughter graduated hs last week and she said there was one boy who decided not to attend graduation.

 

[shoney]

I walked for high school but didn't want to. Didn't walk for undergrad or grad school
I really hate those ceremonies!!!

 

[DawnM]

I don't know of anyone who didn't walk for high school or college, but I do know many who didn't walk for grad school. I think that, as long as the graduate and their family are all comfortable with the decision, then they should do what works for them.

I walked for high school and college, but had no desire to walk in either of my grad program graduations. None. They sent me the diplomas in the mail, that was all I cared about.

 

[Frozen Canuck]

My son walked for high school, but chose not to walk for his college graduation and also didn't attend his fiance's college graduation. Both would have meant HOURS of watching everyone else all for 20 seconds on stage. Everyone had a better way to spend an afternoon than that. We chose to celebrate as a family instead. My daughter graduates college in another year and I think she might be questioning the practice as well.

High school grad, not so much, but to walk for college can be very expensive at some schools from what I have heard. There always seems to be fees and other expenses associated with it. For example, friends we have talked to were required to rent a cap and gown for a ridiculous amount (like $50 or something) or purchase it for $150, which people who were planning to go for their Ph.D. did since they would need the gown in the future. It sounds like a final money grab in some respects. As long as you have earned the piece of paper, that is what truly matters. It comes in the mail, free of charge, a short time after graduation and you are good to go.

 

[QueenIsabella]

The only reason I attended my college graduation was for my father. He didn't finish HS, and I was the first of his kids (#3) to finish college, so he was really proud. Personally, I'm not a fan of graduations.

DD21 just graduated college, and she walked, and we attended. In her case, the large university has ceremonies for the individual schools--that's what we went to. Initially, she said she wasn't going to go to the huge, official ceremony, but changed her mind (we knew we weren't attending this one). They only walk at the smaller ones, which are held throughout the campus, throughout the weekend.

If one of my children chose not to attend, I would look into the consequences (i.e., will she still get her degree?). If there really weren't any, I'd let her skip. My only exception might be DS20--he has multiple issues going on, and when he finishes college, it will be a huge accomplishment. It won't just be about academics. He's also the one most likely to skip the ceremony due to issues (social anxiety), which would make the ceremony itself an accomplishment. So in that case, I might push back a bit, tell him to stand up to the world.

 

[lorimay]

My son was wishy washy about walking for his Bachelor's degree, I asked to please do it for me.
He was the first one in our immediate family to earn it.
I was so proud of him for his accomplishment.
He did it and I think he was glad he did.

 

[ronandannette]

High school grad is a BIG deal here - it's a party similar to prom in the States and a once in a lifetime thing. Nothing short of being physically incapacitated could have stopped me from participating in mine nor DS from his. He graduated with a small class (76 students) so the ceremony was quite personal. All of them attended.

I didn't go to my University convocation and if/when he graduates it will be up to him at the time. I probably know more people who skipped their college ceremonies than attended them.

 

[Missy1961]

I understand the feeling. I find graduations boring, even my own. But I went to both. I graduated from high school in 1979, and I don't think any of us even questioned going. I do think my parents would have been disappointed if I didn't go. In those days, people came up with little rebellions - I know of one guy who was barefoot during his, and of course, there are those who wore shorts and tee shirts under their gowns - but most of us went. When I graduated from college in 1983, I wanted to go. I had struggled in my early days, and after lots of hard work, I graduated with honors. The ceremony was still boring, but I wanted to be there.

I've got a nephew and a niece graduating from high school this year. I'm not going to my nephew's - it's in Virginia and I can't spend the money to travel right now - but since my niece's is here in NY, I'm going. I'll be the proud but bored aunt sitting in the stands.