My FIL's are paying for a huge NJ reception so that everyone they know will be able to celebrate with us. It is going to be held a week before our Disney wedding (June, July and August were too expensive and September was too late) and 250 people have been invited. I AM worried that they are somehow going to try to make this into a surprise Catholic blessing. I have been told by one Catholic priest that this would be impossible. But another Catholic priest told me that under some circumstances, it could be done.
So why do I think this surprise may take place...
- FMIL has been demanding a catholic ceremony since the day after our DF's proposal.
-My extremely Roman Catholic FMlL still seems to be pretending that our very REAL Disney ceremony, which is being officiated by an ordained minister, Rev. Kevin knox, and is centered around God (not religion) is
NOT a real ceremony. It seems like she is pretending that this is just a fabulous party she is going to. By doing this, I think she can still attend our "invalid" wedding without risking her soul. Whatever!
- The RC guests who told us they were so excited to attend our wedding, when they assumed it was going to be in an RC church "regretfully declined" our Disney invite did accept the NJ invite. Why is it ok to celebrate our sinful marriage the week before, but not come to the actual wedding?
- FILs requested that I wear a wedding dress to the NJ reception.
- FILs wanted real wedding invitations for this party and wanted the wording to say "Cocktail Wedding Reception" instead of what it really was "Cocktail Pre-wedding Reception". We fought over this for weeks and finally when I said that I wasn't going to lie to my family and I would send my side different invitations, they accepted "Formal Pre-wedding Cocktail Reception".
(This all started happening while all of my health and job issues were getting worse)
- Now FILs are STEALING some of our Disney wedding plans for their NJ reception. FMIL recently asked what our first dance song was going to be... regretfully I told them, "At Last" by Etta James. She then turned to FFIL and told him to make sure that his friend's jazz trio practices that song well before the NJ reception. She then said, "we can't have them mess our your first dance!" How can we have our first dance as Mr. and Mrs. a week before we marry?
- I was planning on displaying the wedding pictures of our parents and grandparents in pretty frames on the guestbook table at Disney. They now want that done at the NJ reception. And they want us to have their 250 guests sign in the guestbook we have for Disney.
So that's where we are now. This is just part of what I'm referring to when I say that so much has gone wrong that I don't care anymore. I just can't wait to be at Disney and have my magical wedding day and I'm not going to let them ruin it. They can steal whatever they want.
Sandy and Kennercam, thank you for the support! I am ok with the FIL's. They are really really nice otherwise, but I think FMIL is just having a very difficult time. DF is their only son and he lived pretty far from them for all of his adult life. He moved back to NJ within the last year and a half and since then she has met the first girlfriend he has ever introduced them to (that's me
), dealt with he and I moving in together (in complete sin), realized that her son has not gone to church, except for holidays, for over 10 years, and now she's dealing with the fact that her son isn't getting married in the catholic church. She is a traditional Polish Roman Catholic and from what the priest told me, she honestly believes that her only son WILL go to hell for marrying me this way. And her soul is in danger too because she is choosing to attend our wedding.
So while I don't agree with or understand her beliefs, I do respect them. And they are paying for the NJ reception. I am just hoping that if they choose to invite a priest at some point they will have an honest conversation with us about it.
I agree with you Keenercam, I do think my DF should deal with this better, but he doesn't believe that they would do this and he doesn't think the clues I am picking up on are good enough indications to confront them.
We have both told them multiple times that we are NOT having a catholic ceremony.
I am fine as long as he isn't lying to me. If it turns out that he has anything to do with this, then that's another story.