Should I ask my Dad's wife to see his will?

[cabanafrau]

Do they end up in probate court just "because"? Or are their legal defects in the wills or trusts? I grew up in a household where the book "How to Avoid Probate" was on the book shelf and it helped my mom when my dad died, and me, when my mom died, to avoid not only probate, but outside review of the will. Only document I had to produce was a death certificate and the trust when I sold the house.

Once again, were you not the only child of two parents who were only married to each other? Even in an intestate situation it would have been a simple and uncomplicated matter to have the property pass to you by operation of law. Start factoring in siblings, a step parent, a step parent's children, etc. & the odds of avoiding probate rise dramatically, no matter how well written the will and/or trust(s) or how much the sage tome was consulted.

I am one of two children of two parents only married to one another, with my dad deceased for several years now. Nothing needs to go through probate in our situation because of the way all assets are currently titled, with my sibling or I assuming them upon our mother's death the same way our mother did when our father died intestate. A will is not even necessary the way things are set up.

 

[tvguy]

Once again, were you not the only child of two parents who were only married to each other? Even in an intestate situation it would have been a simple and uncomplicated matter to have the property pass to you by operation of law. Start factoring in siblings, a step parent, a step parent's children, etc. & the odds of avoiding probate rise dramatically, no matter how well written the will and/or trust(s) or how much the sage tome was consulted.

I am one of two children of two parents only married to one another, with my dad deceased for several years now. Nothing needs to go through probate in our situation because of the way all assets are currently titled, with my sibling or I assuming them upon our mother's death the same way our mother did when our father died intestate. A will is not even necessary the way things are set up.

No, my dad was married before and I have a half brother. But my brother was an adult specifically excluded from our dad's will at my brother's request. My mom needed all the assets to support me since I was only 9

My FIL died and my wife has a step mother and 2 step sisters. His will said everything goes to his wife, and when she passes, everything is to be divided between my wife and her 2 step sisters. There was no probate. Only thing my wife had to do, due to an odd law in Texas, was release any claim to her father's car via a notarized form. Apparently in Texas, cars can only be registered in one name, not jointly held, and Texas law presumes a blood relative has first rights to a vehicle over a spouse.

 

[cabanafrau]

No, my dad was married before and I have a half brother. But my brother was an adult specifically excluded from our dad's will at my brother's request. My mom needed all the assets to support me since I was only 9

My FIL died and my wife has a step mother and 2 step sisters. His will said everything goes to his wife, and when she passes, everything is to be divided between my wife and her 2 step sisters. There was no probate. Only thing my wife had to do, due to an odd law in Texas, was release any claim to her father's car via a notarized form. Apparently in Texas, cars can only be registered in one name, not jointly held, and Texas law presumes a blood relative has first rights to a vehicle over a spouse.

But your dad predeceased your mother, correct? You may have received some type of inheritance from your father's estate, but I would imagine the assets of monetary value were passed to your mother. Once they became the legal property of your mother your stepbrother had no claim upon her estate. When your mother passed you were the primary and only one standing to inherit by operation of law. With a will she had the ability to pass her assets as she wished, obviously she chose you as her only child. There was no one with standing to challenge her estate plan. It's often far from that simple.

 

[mousefan73]

This is why I like how in many other countries children have a legal right to a minimum % regardless of will. One cannot legally dis inherit a child. Spouses are replacable not children, IMO. So no cases of one parent leaving everything to a new spouse, then Step parent then survives parent and can leave their assets to whomever. In end affect cutting of children. Not everyone has a will. I know each family has their own dynamics. I can only say In my case IF I were to remarry My kids definately have a major part of my assets. In my cases I want none. But just principle I want to also see my dad’s will

 

[cabanafrau]

This is why I like how in many other countries children have a legal right to a minimum % regardless of will. One cannot legally dis inherit a child. Spouses are replacable not children, IMO. So no cases of one parent leaving everything to a new spouse, then Step parent then survives parent and can leave their assets to whomever. In end affect cutting of children. Not everyone has a will. I know each family has their own dynamics. I can only say In my case IF I were to remarry My kids definately have a major part of my assets. In my cases I want none. But just principle I want to also see my dad’s will

I understand your feelings and this doesn't apply to your situation, but I see as many undeserving children benefiting from parents' hard work and sacrifice as I do undeserving second spouses.

 

[wvjules]

I would hate to live in a country where a law determines how much a deceased individual must leave to their children. I earned the money/assets/etc. *I* get to decide who gets it after I'm dead and that's the way it should be. No one is entitled to anything.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I would hate to live in a country where a law determines how much a deceased individual must leave to their children. I earned the money/assets/etc. *I* get to decide who gets it after I'm dead and that's the way it should be. No one is entitled to anything.

I couldn't imagine a surviving spouse having to sell a house to pay off adult children from a previous marriage.

The surviving spouse could end up out on their rear, without a place to live.

 

[tvguy]

But your dad predeceased your mother, correct? You may have received some type of inheritance from your father's estate, but I would imagine the assets of monetary value were passed to your mother. Once they became the legal property of your mother your stepbrother had no claim upon her estate. When your mother passed you were the primary and only one standing to inherit by operation of law. With a will she had the ability to pass her assets as she wished, obviously she chose you as her only child. There was no one with standing to challenge her estate plan. It's often far from that simple.

Correct. Not sure what my situation had to do with OP though. That is the question everyone here is trying to answer.

 

[cabanafrau]

I couldn't imagine a surviving spouse having to sell a house to pay off adult children from a previous marriage.

The surviving spouse could end up out on their rear, without a place to live.

I've seen children attempting to push a step parent, and even their own parent, to sell their home because they feel "owed" payment out of an estate, regardless of what the legalities specify. I'm not talking cases where a step parent had their own established financial position, married the parent of adult children & the parent passes away within two or three years or less. I'm talking step parent who's been happily married for decades to the parent and did all of the heavy lifting when it came to caring for an elderly and infirm spouse for quite a period of time and then is expected to disappear and leave all marital assets behind as the sole assets of the estate of their deceased spouse.

 

[cabanafrau]

Correct. Not sure what my situation had to do with OP though. That is the question everyone here is trying to answer.

Merely pointing out that you hold out your situation as the only way to proceed, guaranteed problem free. Once you start factoring in even a single sibling things can easily go awry despite excellent estate planning.

 

[J'aime Paris]

This is why I like how in many other countries children have a legal right to a minimum % regardless of will. One cannot legally dis inherit a child. Spouses are replacable not children, IMO. So no cases of one parent leaving everything to a new spouse, then Step parent then survives parent and can leave their assets to whomever. In end affect cutting of children. Not everyone has a will. I know each family has their own dynamics. I can only say In my case IF I were to remarry My kids definately have a major part of my assets. In my cases I want none. But just principle I want to also see my dad’s will

You stated in your first post that you cut your father out of your life. And that you only would want a few keepsake pictures, nothing monetary.
I don't understand your reasoning for this post....

You mentioned your children a few times. It's natural to include your own children, IF your relationship with them is in good standing.
Your relationship with your dad, by your own admission, was not. Why you think you have any rights to anything of his is totally mind boggling!

 

[Someluck]

Which brings me to the next question why would she then file a will in probate? Some of you have commented that if there is a will there is no need to file sorry just a little bit confused.

My friend left a will of which I am the sole heir, but in this county and state it still goes to a probate court for review and other possible interested parties ,such as her brother must be notified by and provided with a copy of the will. They have four months to file a claim to the estate. I have a lawyer handling all of this for me.

 

[mousefan73]

You stated in your first post that you cut your father out of your life. And that you only would want a few keepsake pictures, nothing monetary.
I don't understand your reasoning for this post....

You mentioned your children a few times. It's natural to include your own children, IF your relationship with them is in good standing.
Your relationship with your dad, by your own admission, was not. Why you think you have any rights to anything of his is totally mind boggling!

For the record my dad cut me out. Long story but I was not at fault. Since his remarriage his whole family has been cut off. For no good reasons. He had a normal relationship with all his siblings and his only child. I have stated I wish no money. I only really want sentimental items that includes things feom my past life with my father. My opinion as his only blood Heir I would expect to be shown a will I jave not. My previous post stated laws that protect child in such cases. One can argue no one is intitled, neither are spouses. What my father choose is his wish legally where he lives. Infeel I have a right to see it in writing.

 

[J'aime Paris]

For the record my dad cut me out. Long story but I was not at fault. Since his remarriage his whole family has been cut off. For no good reasons. He had a normal relationship with all his siblings and his only child. I have stated I wish no money. I only really want sentimental items that includes things feom my past life with my father. My opinion as his only blood Heir I would expect to be shown a will I jave not. My previous post stated laws that protect child in such cases. One can argue no one is intitled, neither are spouses. What my father choose is his wish legally where he lives. Infeel I have a right to see it in writing.

I stand corrected, your father cut you out.
It doesn't change the fact that what you hope, you feel, your expectations and your opinions....don't stand up to the law.
Sorry you view this as being slighted.

 

[Iya]

For the record my dad cut me out. Long story but I was not at fault. Since his remarriage his whole family has been cut off. For no good reasons. He had a normal relationship with all his siblings and his only child. I have stated I wish no money. I only really want sentimental items that includes things feom my past life with my father. My opinion as his only blood Heir I would expect to be shown a will I jave not. My previous post stated laws that protect child in such cases. One can argue no one is intitled, neither are spouses. What my father choose is his wish legally where he lives. Infeel I have a right to see it in writing.

Of course, the typical disclaimer of laws vary by state, but generally speaking, assets pass automatically to a spouse upon death if they were all jointly held. Children are not entitled to any of those assets and it is up to the surviving spouse to distribute as they see fit.

 

[gotomu212]

A properly set up estate won't got to a probate court. Probate court is for estates that have no will, in improperly drawn up will, and or, property whose ownership is not setup in a trust or mentioned in the will.
To OP, at some point, not today, it certainly is within your rights to ask about the will. Often if there are children from a previous marriage, a person's will specifies that the children get nothing until the surviving spouse passes. So it would be a reasonable in the coming months to ask.

Probate and probate court are two different things. Probate is the process of determining if there is a will or trust, notifying creditors and interested parties, and accessing fees and taxes if applicable. Every state has different processes but most are governed by the probate office/court. In most states once an estate has entered probate the will is a public record (how else do creditors discover that they need to make a claim?)

Going to probate court occurs when there isn’t a will or there is a disputed estate and a judge must review. In several states a probate judge must review all estates regardless of wills/trusts to ensure their validity. In my state even though my father passed and my mother as spouse received 100% of the estate, a judge still had to review the estate and ensure there were no valid claims against it (this was with a trust).

 

[barkley]

I am just scared to Approach his wife,, she is a real Drama queen and can get ballistic.. I just feel in These cases, children should be involved. I would do that with my Kids... Now I understand the whole estranged Thing throws a pickle, but my Uncle told me to ask about the will. For me it's more the principle that as my Dad's only child I should have a right in dealing with his estate.. Now if he wrote in his will specifically He wants me not involved so be it.. But shouldnt his wife let me know officially?

we had to administer an estate where the parent was estranged from one of their children and had specifically disinherited them in the will. we were required in that state to send that person (along with all other beneficiaries named in the will) a copy.

I don't know of any state that requires any language in a will or trust that speaks to individuals (children or others) that are to be excluded from 'dealing' with an estate-the documents simply state WHO is to deal with it (and in some cases an alternate or standby in the event the primary is unwilling or unable).

Well I just contacted our county and I guess there is a will on file that I can request a copy online so I do not have to go through his wife.

if all you want to see is the will then it seems you've found an easy/expedient means. if you are still inclined to see if you can attain some sentimental items such as photos then I would suggest sending a nicely worded note/card/email to the widow expressing your sympathy for her loss and perhaps saying something about how while you accept that you and your late father hadn't been close in recent years you still have loving memories from your childhood and would appreciate it if she would be willing to share any photos or such from that time period with you when she feels ready.

 

[SharonZ]

Apparently, you weren't named as the Executor of the will, and you would be notified if you were a beneficiary. You can ask your father's wife about sentimental items, but unless there is a provision in his will regarding this, she's under no obligation to turn anything over to you. Furthermore, a parent is under no obligation to leave any portion of their estate to their children.

 

[robinb]

For the record my dad cut me out. Long story but I was not at fault. Since his remarriage his whole family has been cut off. For no good reasons. He had a normal relationship with all his siblings and his only child. I have stated I wish no money. I only really want sentimental items that includes things feom my past life with my father. My opinion as his only blood Heir I would expect to be shown a will I have not. My previous post stated laws that protect child in such cases. One can argue no one is intitled, neither are spouses. What my father choose is his wish legally where he lives. Infeel I have a right to see it in writing.

I'm really not understanding why you have those expectations. Especially when you imply that your father's widow is the one who orchestrated the estrangement. Why would she suddenly give a rat's booty about you even if you are a "blood heir"?

I sincerely do hope that you get what you want from your father's estate. I would kill her with kindness.

 

[WebmasterKathy]

My FIL died and my wife has a step mother and 2 step sisters. His will said everything goes to his wife, and when she passes, everything is to be divided between my wife and her 2 step sisters.

It doesn’t work that way, unless there is some funky “life estate” type trust set up where she has use of assets but never really owns them.

If your FIL passes and leaves everything to his wife, those assets then become HERS, and she alone determines what happens to them next. Once they passed from your FIL to his wife, his control of them was over. He doesn’t get to dictate the next step in inheritance.