Transgender bathrooms

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ThistleMae

Falling More in Love Every Year!
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Jan 12, 2015
Very interesting conversations. What does cis gender mean? Never heard this term before. Obviously this can be an extremely challenging subject with many varying points of view. I would like to think this topic is mostly about bathroom privacy, not gender identity, but it brings up lots of fears for folks apparently. I don't pay much attention to whose in the bathroom but whether there is a stall available or not. Fear is a terrible way to live.
 
  • DantePD

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jun 15, 2016
    Short version (Note, I'm not trans, I'm a cis gendered gay male), cis gender means one's biological gender and what you present/identify as matches up.
     

    DrunkJam

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 1, 2016
    Honestly, all it needs is that all restrooms have all stalls (like women's toilets already do) if everyone used a toilet within a lockable stall, surely it wouldn't matter what their plumbing looked like? Plus SOME of the disability companion issues would be solved, and all of the taking an opposite gender child to the bathroom problems would be solved, and everyone would be comfortable, because, if not, why the hell are you looking in the stall someone else is using to find out what they keep in their pants?
     

    ThistleMae

    Falling More in Love Every Year!
    Joined
    Jan 12, 2015
    It just means not transgender. So, if you aren't transgender, you are cis gender.
    Sorry for being so ignorant but I want to be educated. So one would be transgender if they have had surgery but a cis gender if you haven't had surgery and identify as the opposite sex? Perhaps there should be a whole topic on this part so we can speak intelligently on the matter.
     
  • SirDuff

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 19, 2014
    It just means not transgender. So, if you aren't transgender, you are cis gender.
    Isn't there more than than cis- and transgender? Gender fluid for example. Or Two-Spirit? Or Gender Queer? Or do those all fall within transgender?

    ETA - Sorry if this came across as argumentative. Like Thistlemae, I'm trying to get/keep informed on this, so I may be asking what seems like a stupid/argumentative question. I am not.
     

    cruisehopeful

    Wishing I was taking a nap on a ship.
    Joined
    Oct 25, 2015
    Sorry for being so ignorant but I want to be educated. So one would be transgender if they have had surgery but a cis gender if you haven't had surgery and identify as the opposite sex? Perhaps there should be a whole topic on this part so we can speak intelligently on the matter.
    Isn't there more than than cis- and transgender? Gender fluid for example. Or Two-Spirit? Or Gender Queer? Or do those all fall within transgender?

    ETA - Sorry if this came across as argumentative. Like Thistlemae, I'm trying to get/keep informed on this, so I may be asking what seems like a stupid/argumentative question. I am not.
    I don't know it all. I have a transgender daughter and she often tells me I am saying stuff wrong, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

    Cisgender has nothing to do with surgery. If you feel like you are the gender that matches the sex you were born, you are cisgender. I am cisgender. I was born female and always felt like a female. Eh, always isn't exactly true - but, have never thought I was trapped in the wrong body or that I had severe depression because I didn't identify with my gender assigned at birth.

    There are different types of gender and that is where I get totally lost. Gender fluid is different than non-binary, but I have no idea how. I just know in California, you can now get a driver's license that for gender says, "non-binary." I also don't fully understand gender queer and have never heard of two-spirit.

    A woman I know recently said her daughter came home from school with a paper describing all the different genders. Her daughter was fascinated and asked her mom about it. Her mom said there were only 2 genders and threw the paper out without looking at it. I told her that I really wish she had the paper and could have given it to me so I could read all the different types. Apparently there are schools in California educating the next generation about all of this stuff. Hopefully, some of the younger people who have all that knowledge will share it with us at some point because I only understand transgender and cisgender.
     

    SirDuff

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 19, 2014
    have never heard of two-spirit.
    It's a term used by some indigenous people in Canada (and, I assume, the US as well - and possibly other countries). My understanding is that it differs from other definitions of sexuality and gender because it refers to having female/male/both spirits (as opposed to being about which gender one identifies as or who one is sexually interested in). I know that some of my friends have added "T" to the LGBTQ+ initialism, but I'm not sure how widely spread that is (I've seen many different version of the acronym and I'm not sure which is the most widely accepted).

    BTW - This page may be useful to you (I don't know the group that posted it, but it seems to match what I've heard/read for various terms).

    http://ok2bme.ca/resources/kids-teens/what-does-lgbtq-mean/
     

    ThistleMae

    Falling More in Love Every Year!
    Joined
    Jan 12, 2015
    I don't know it all. I have a transgender daughter and she often tells me I am saying stuff wrong, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

    Cisgender has nothing to do with surgery. If you feel like you are the gender that matches the sex you were born, you are cisgender. I am cisgender. I was born female and always felt like a female. Eh, always isn't exactly true - but, have never thought I was trapped in the wrong body or that I had severe depression because I didn't identify with my gender assigned at birth.

    There are different types of gender and that is where I get totally lost. Gender fluid is different than non-binary, but I have no idea how. I just know in California, you can now get a driver's license that for gender says, "non-binary." I also don't fully understand gender queer and have never heard of two-spirit.

    A woman I know recently said her daughter came home from school with a paper describing all the different genders. Her daughter was fascinated and asked her mom about it. Her mom said there were only 2 genders and threw the paper out without looking at it. I told her that I really wish she had the paper and could have given it to me so I could read all the different types. Apparently there are schools in California educating the next generation about all of this stuff. Hopefully, some of the younger people who have all that knowledge will share it with us at some point because I only understand transgender and cisgender.
    Wow...who knew. Now I'm more confused than ever! We need a list with definitions so I'm not totally ignorant. I grew up with a gay best friend, and I did his makeup and hair. He definitely felt as if he were a female but back then there was no talk of transgender or other terms. Back then he would have been known as a drag queen, which I don't think was who he was, and probably didn't have the support to really help him understand. He has since passed away, so I'm not able to talk to him about it.
     
  • ThistleMae

    Falling More in Love Every Year!
    Joined
    Jan 12, 2015
    It's a term used by some indigenous people in Canada (and, I assume, the US as well - and possibly other countries). My understanding is that it differs from other definitions of sexuality and gender because it refers to having female/male/both spirits (as opposed to being about which gender one identifies as or who one is sexually interested in). I know that some of my friends have added "T" to the LGBTQ+ initialism, but I'm not sure how widely spread that is (I've seen many different version of the acronym and I'm not sure which is the most widely accepted).

    BTW - This page may be useful to you (I don't know the group that posted it, but it seems to match what I've heard/read for various terms).

    http://ok2bme.ca/resources/kids-teens/what-does-lgbtq-mean/
    Great website. Thank you. It definitely helps a lot, but some of the definitions seem to overlap, or seem to be the same.
     

    smiths02

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 13, 2009
    The problem with the bathroom issue, is it's the few that will ruin it for the many. Like it is with pretty much any law or rule, that one didnt feel even needed addressing. And now, here we are. For ages now transgendered people have been using which ever restroom. The issue has become a fear, because of the one pervert who will use this "law" as a means to act upon their sick fantasies. And that is an issue for anyone. Mom dad gay straight trans etc. No one wants a pedophile being granted easier access to their gender of choice. The few nefarious cause the many to have fear.
    And I personally feel, anyone with whatever chosen gender, with any sense about them, doesn't want that.
    For me out and about in public with my 11 year old boy and 4 year old boy and girl...I actually think it would be easier/safer if the restrooms were where either parent could go in with the child as necessary. My 11 year old goes to the men's room by himself, but I worry about that WAY more than I worry about a transgender individual (or even a pedophile) peeing in the stall next to me and my 4 year old daughter. It would seem like the bathrooms would have more traffic, more parents with their kids, etc.

    I, personally, don't want to have to walk past guys with their junk hanging out in a urinal, though. I would want stalls.
     

    ThistleMae

    Falling More in Love Every Year!
    Joined
    Jan 12, 2015
    For me out and about in public with my 11 year old boy and 4 year old boy and girl...I actually think it would be easier/safer if the restrooms were where either parent could go in with the child as necessary. My 11 year old goes to the men's room by himself, but I worry about that WAY more than I worry about a transgender individual (or even a pedophile) peeing in the stall next to me and my 4 year old daughter. It would seem like the bathrooms would have more traffic, more parents with their kids, etc.

    I, personally, don't want to have to walk past guys with their junk hanging out in a urinal, though. I would want stalls.
    I don't think anyone is suggesting that combined rest rooms would still have urinals.
     

    smiths02

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 13, 2009
    I don't think anyone is suggesting that combined rest rooms would still have urinals.
    I would hope not, but some women on this thread have said that they used the men's room when they had to and just walked passed men using urinals.
     

    ToliBera

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jun 19, 2017
    I asked a member of Disney's website trip helpers; trans bathroom usage is fine. (I'm guessing it's sprouted from parents having to take their opposite gendered children in to the bathroom with them.)
     

    ThistleMae

    Falling More in Love Every Year!
    Joined
    Jan 12, 2015
    My hope is that the fear of pedophiles lurking in bathrooms that are transgender will dissipate with time and education. There are many more opportunities for them and bathrooms isn't one of them. Working with child abuse victims over 30 years, no one has ever disclosed their first assault was in a public restroom.
     

    Beach710

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Apr 4, 2001
    I wish people would respect one another's privacy and NOT peek through the stall cracks or underneath to assess if it's occupied or push on a stall door that you don't know for sure is empty. Simply ask if there's someone in there.
    I'm sorry I know this is sort of off subject. Is it the general opinion that looking for feet under the stall is invasive? I guess I don't the understand how in large public restrooms that often are very noisy - the person in the stall even if they did hear you would know you were talking to them?
     

    L&Lfan

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 6, 2008
    If the door is not open, I always take a glance at the floor to see if the stall is occupied, rather than just bursting in. I thought that was just being polite.:groom:
     
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