Yearly Review...finances

[dosekies]

I'm trying to take over finances for the two of us. We aren't married yet (we are engaged) and just moved into our first apartment together this past summer, so we also still have separate banking accounts. We grew up VERY differently financially - I was taught to save your money and really think about your big purchases and that paying your bills always comes first while he grew up experiencing a family where you buy what you want and deal with it later. Because of that, I've been having to teach him that you can't just go out and buy the 60,000 truck you want without thinking of how it will affect every other aspect of your life, or that we can't have a child right now with the amount of savings that we have, or that we can't afford a specific apartment on the amount of money we make and still expect to live the way we do.

Luckily, I have made a lot of progress in getting him to understand these things but still have a ways to go haha. When we moved out of our parents' houses, I ran both of our finances and set up direct payments for each of us for the utilities/rent. I fully expect this to continue in the future and I'm sure at some point once we get married we will venture into a joint bank account to help.

 

[Christine]

It really is. The free healthcare is gold. Not to mention the multi million dollar retirement pension value...and continuation of extremely low cost healthcare for life.

We are very grateful for the fact that we can afford for me to be a SAHM. I have never once complained that my husband is underpaid.

It's funny because a lot of people do. It's probably more a political issue. I work for the federal service and occasionally there is some banter about military members being poor, needing raised, we don't pay them enough, etc. I kind of raise an eyebrow over that. Don't get me wrong. When my husband enlisted, he was an E3 and we were DIRT POOR. Fortunately, we had no children and we did okay. Some of my friends did have kids and they got WIC or food stamps. But once he went up in the pay grades it got much better. I think officers do really well. I think a lot of people who have no contact with military folks have the perception that they are undercompensated.

 

[disneychrista]

I hate shopping. So rarely spend money just because I have it.

Being single it’s all my money but all the bills are mine.

 

[DawnM]

We have joint accounts, although he has his pay go into one bank account, and I have mine deposited in another. Right now, it works well as mine pretty much doesn't get spent. I have my car auto deducted (it is only $225/mo with 1% interest) and the rest sits there to pay for college for the oldest (and youngest starting in the Fall.)

We live off of DH's income. We put part in a savings fund we don't touch and we still spend more than we should. I am looking at cutting back again.

Once these kids are finished with college, we will have more $$!

 

[DawnM]

It really is. The free healthcare is gold. Not to mention the multi million dollar retirement pension value...and continuation of extremely low cost healthcare for life.

We are very grateful for the fact that we can afford for me to be a SAHM. I have never once complained that my husband is underpaid.

Yeah, that is a huge reason I will continue to work until retirement. My health insurance won't be free for DH, but it will be affordable in retirement. If I go back to my old district/state, it will be free for both of us.

 

[TB'sWidow]

A school! The office or library of a school.

or the school cafeteria

 

[disykat]

I would venture to guess that for many of us on this board, money problems are spending issues not income issues. Making more money doesn't solve a spending problem, because it's easy to spend more!

DH and I don't struggle with spending issues in general, but any spending issues we have are usually based on SAVINGS issues. DH is generally frugal since he grew up poor, but if he sees money in savings, he wants to spend it. We've solved that by me being in charge of short and long term savings. He handles his own retirement account, but I handle the rest - my retirement account, kid's college funds, emergency savings, savings for travel and household projects, etc.

I have always been the "flexible earner" in my family, going between full time, part time, or SAHM as needed over the years. We can function on DH's income, so when we start to think I need to earn more, it is generally a spending issue, not an earning issue. First we look at spending and evaluate needs and wants, and only then do we look at increasing earnings. I'm happy to work more when we need the income, but really, once you're above subsistence level, it's all about living within your means regardless of what those means are.

 

[StephMK]

I say that my DH would be like a stereotypical 50’s housewife if anything happened to me. He knows practically nothing about the bills, monthly expenses or how to access the info. He also is not up on insurance and home maintenance and repairs. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes it is frustrating, and at times a lot of pressure.

I started to create a household binder a few years back and really need to update and finish it. I’d hate for him or our kids to have to sort through a mess to figure it all out.

This year I really want to get things in order. Too many things can happen and I want my family prepared if it ever comes down to it.

We have always had joint accounts. It helps that now we have accounts with two different banks. We use one for direct deposit and bills. The other is used for savings or money specifically earmarked for certain expenses.

 

[John VN]

Organize things however you like between spouses; I totally respect that. But the expectation that one of your children will have to take over "parenting" you financially is shocking, let alone that she apparently already knows more about your personal finances than you do.

Interesting leap from my OP?

DW handles the bills that are not on auto-pay and I handle investments. I have NO INTEREST in the bill paying. DD handles her family's bills as she has her mother's skills. IF I LIVE LONGER than DW, unlikely due to my cancer, DD will continue doing what DW does which IS NOT PARENTING ME but simply paying bills.

 

[ronandannette]

Interesting leap from my OP?

DW handles the bills that are not on auto-pay and I handle investments. I have NO INTEREST in the bill paying. DD handles her family's bills as she has her mother's skills. IF I LIVE LONGER than DW, unlikely due to my cancer, DD will continue doing what DW does which IS NOT PARENTING ME but simply paying bills.

Apologies; it must have been your reference to her giving you an allowance that threw me. I'm sorry for your health concerns and wish you and your wife many more happy years together.

 

[manning]

My wife wanted to handle everything when we got married. I said no, like everything in married we share. Also told her if something happened to me she would be you know what up the creek.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

The way my husband handled it was he made me deal with all the finances, even though I am THE WORST at math. I mean, I actually changed my major in college to avoid taking math classes. I do kind of think that it works better if one person oversees everything. It worked for 14 years of my marriage. But I really think that person in charge should actually be able to do math beyond a fifth-grade level

 

[John VN]

Apologies; it must have been your reference to her giving you an allowance that threw me. I'm sorry for your health concerns and wish you and your wife many more happy years together.

Not a problem, I guess the "allowance" part did seem childish.

 

[nkereina]

DH and I have a joint account and we each have a percentage of our paychecks directly deposited into the joint account, which is enough to cover our mutual bills and household expenses. A percentage works for us because I make more. The remainder of our paychecks is deposited into our own individual accounts which gives the freedom of our own spending money without the other worrying about how much is being spent. I manage our joint account and bills for the two of us and it works fine for us.