badblackpug
<font color=blue>If you knew her you would be shoc
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2005
People have said mean things about my method of raising my daughter, and it doesn't offend or insult me. I think you need to turn down the sensitivity meter when posting online.
Additionally, there are studies that show CIO is detrimental to a child. I don't know if I can post links on this board or not, but I'd be happy to PM them to you, if you'd like to look at them and see that I am backing up what I am saying. Additionally, I pointed out that there are extremes.
For instance, one guy at work told me that he let his 1 year old cry for 5 hours in her bed until she passed out. He said, in a joking way, that she was very hoarse the next day. But, "she learned her lesson!" This is not the only case of extreme CIO that I have heard of personally. For some reason, all my co-workers have suddenly decided to share un-solicited parenting advice with me, and they all did CIO. If I have to listen to one more person brag about how after 3 weeks, there kid stopped crying, I'm going to start crying!
Good for your child. That is most certainly not the case with all babies.
So, I'm not allowed to say I don't understand?
What if someone said to you, "I hate Disneyworld. It's boring, stupid, and I didn't have any fun when I was there. Food was awful, rides were dull, and the characters were silly." Would you say, "Oh, I completely understand!" No, you'd probably say, "I don't get that. We have an awesome time. Maybe you had a bad experience? I could offer some tips to you that might help you have more fun next time?"
But because I love nursing and parenting my daughter to sleep, there is something wrong with me saying that I don't understand why people don't enjoy doing that?
You really are comparing me not putting my daughter in a crib and letting her cry herself to sleep to letting her do whatever she wants?
Thank you for making two points for me:
1. People who don't do CIO with their babies are viewed as wishy-washy parents who don't have boundaries and discipline.
2. People often mistake babies for tiny adults and try to act the same way towards both. Thinking that you need to "teach" your baby to sleep now or all h-e-double hockey sticks will break loose when she is 13 is just plain silly. Babies are incapable of manipulation, for instance. My daughter cries to fill a need- I'm sick, I'm hungry, I hurt, I'm cold, I'm sleepy, I'm lonely, I'm scared. She doesn't think, hmmm, I really would like to eat right now, but I know I just ate an hour ago. Maybe I can trick mom into feeding me some more. You cannot attribute cognitive skills that are far beyond a baby's capability. Babies only know needs, not wants. They can't manipulate until they are older. They can't understand cause and effect until they are older.
When my daughter is a teenager, of course I won't still be fitting my life around hers. That was a plain ridiculous assumption to draw from what I said.
You really just don't get it, do you? No one gives a rat's behind how you choose to parent your child. It's your kid, do what you want. The issue here is you have offered a ton of unsolicited and, frankly, insulting opinions about other people's parenting choices. The Op asked for suggestions about how to get her child to sleep. You went on a diatribe about other people's advice. You offered a lot of quite insulting opinions about other peoples parenting methods. You suggested that people who did not agree with your methods were psychologically damaging their children. You made the implication that people who chose other methods were bad parents. Do you truly not understand why people are insulted? Seriously?
...and as a PP said, if you do a web search you can basically find any information you want supporting your opinion. I can find hundreds of articles stating that "attachment parenting" is a bunch of hooey. I can find hundreds of articles that stating that sleeping with your children is psychologically damaging and physically dangerous. ....in addition, as a nurse, I can offer up 4 actual cases of babies who died as a result of sleeping with their parents.... etc...etc...etc..
The point is, you need to do what is right for you, and let others do what is right for them. No one solicited your opinion about their parenting techniques. The OP asked for advice on how to get her 6 month old to sleep. The productive thing would have been to offer her that advice, and keep the opinions to yourself.