HELP me get my 6 month old to sleep! PLEASE! (update post 74)

[tiffjoy]

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Right...here are some problems and why people take offense. You are suggesting that people that people who do not ascribe to your parenting methods are psychologically damaging their children. Pardon me...but HORSE HOCKEY! If this is the method that works for you, and makes you happy, and makes you feel good about yourself as a parent fine. That's great, keep it up. But to suggest that others who disagree are raising psychologically damaged children is quite insulting.

People have said mean things about my method of raising my daughter, and it doesn't offend or insult me. I think you need to turn down the sensitivity meter when posting online.

Additionally, there are studies that show CIO is detrimental to a child. I don't know if I can post links on this board or not, but I'd be happy to PM them to you, if you'd like to look at them and see that I am backing up what I am saying. Additionally, I pointed out that there are extremes.

For instance, one guy at work told me that he let his 1 year old cry for 5 hours in her bed until she passed out. He said, in a joking way, that she was very hoarse the next day. But, "she learned her lesson!" This is not the only case of extreme CIO that I have heard of personally. For some reason, all my co-workers have suddenly decided to share un-solicited parenting advice with me, and they all did CIO. If I have to listen to one more person brag about how after 3 weeks, there kid stopped crying, I'm going to start crying!

No one ever denied their child food. The fact of the matter is my 7 month old gets his nutrition during the day. He does not wake up in the night and need to eat. ...and believe me, at 18lbs, he is getting enough nutrition!

Good for your child. That is most certainly not the case with all babies.

There are, literally, a million ways to bond with your child. Nursing your child to sleep and sleeping with them is not the end-all-be-all of child/parent bonding. Why wouldn't people want to do this? Because it doesn't work for them. It is not what is right for their family or child.

So, I'm not allowed to say I don't understand?

What if someone said to you, "I hate Disneyworld. It's boring, stupid, and I didn't have any fun when I was there. Food was awful, rides were dull, and the characters were silly." Would you say, "Oh, I completely understand!" No, you'd probably say, "I don't get that. We have an awesome time. Maybe you had a bad experience? I could offer some tips to you that might help you have more fun next time?"

But because I love nursing and parenting my daughter to sleep, there is something wrong with me saying that I don't understand why people don't enjoy doing that?

...and you think you should fit your life and world around her wants and needs...and you don't think she should behave a certain way because it's more convenient for you? Oh dear! I can't wait to hear from you when she is a toddler....or better yet, an adolescent! Wow are you in for it.....

You really are comparing me not putting my daughter in a crib and letting her cry herself to sleep to letting her do whatever she wants?

Thank you for making two points for me:

1. People who don't do CIO with their babies are viewed as wishy-washy parents who don't have boundaries and discipline.

2. People often mistake babies for tiny adults and try to act the same way towards both. Thinking that you need to "teach" your baby to sleep now or all h-e-double hockey sticks will break loose when she is 13 is just plain silly. Babies are incapable of manipulation, for instance. My daughter cries to fill a need- I'm sick, I'm hungry, I hurt, I'm cold, I'm sleepy, I'm lonely, I'm scared. She doesn't think, hmmm, I really would like to eat right now, but I know I just ate an hour ago. Maybe I can trick mom into feeding me some more. You cannot attribute cognitive skills that are far beyond a baby's capability. Babies only know needs, not wants. They can't manipulate until they are older. They can't understand cause and effect until they are older.

When my daughter is a teenager, of course I won't still be fitting my life around hers. That was a plain ridiculous assumption to draw from what I said.

 

[tiffjoy]

I posted my thoughts and moved on. For some reason, I took offense to this post though. I did not nurse my DS to sleep because I physically couldn't. Your post implies that becasue of that we have no bonding??? Please....I hear, "I luz you mommy" all day long and get a million kisses. People are very surprised how gentle and loving he is. Absolutely no bonding issues there. Please know that nursing is not the only bonding method. Do not judge those that don't nurse for one way or another. It is a choice and will not harm the child if they are not nursed.

I don't judge anyone for nursing vs not nursing. My point is that nursing is for more than food, and if someone is nursing, telling them to not respond to their baby at night and not nurse them can be detrimental to the nursing relationship.

With bottles, you know exactly how much your baby is taking in during the day. With nursing, you don't know, and it's important to respond to the baby's cues. If they want to nurse, you nurse, regardless of night or day. It's critical for nursing moms, but it doesn't necessarily apply to bottle-feeding.

People bond with their children all the time without nursing. I in no way think moms who don't nurse are not bonding just as well with their children. I'm horrified you got that from my post as that was absolutely not my intention, and I do apologize for making you feel judged for not nursing.

Again, I will say that I feel that my saying I love nursing my daughter to sleep and don't know why people don't like it is how I feel. But it's like someone not liking Disneyworld- I don't get it. Now, if I wasn't nursing, I would have said something like rocking my daughter to sleep is the best. My point was that I really, really don't get CIO. And I don't back down from saying that I just don't get it. It wasn't a slam against other mothers who don't nurse (either by choice or because they couldn't).

 

[tiffjoy]

Trying again since the horse analogy got me nowhere...

My daughter is almost walking. She can hold onto the coffee table and walk around it. She has let go a couple times, but she just sits down- she's not quite ready to stand without support.

What if I took away her support, and kept trying to make her stand up on her own? If I just kept trying to teach her, would she be able to do it in a couple days? No, because she's not developmentally ready. But why not? i see a lot of babies walking by 9 months, and she's 10 months. I walked at 10 months. So, why can't I teach her? Again, because she's not developmentally ready. She will walk when she's ready, and nothing I can do will change that.

She says, mama and dada, but that's about it, besides some other nonsense syllables. What if I put her in her crib, and told her that until she said, "Mama, out please," I wasn't going to get her out. She'd be in her crib crying for months! She's not developmentally ready to talk in sentences.


It seems that I've already offended people enough with my viewpoints, so there really is no reason in continuing this. My point was never to offend, but to challenge. I don't see what is wrong with opposing viewpoints and challenging the standard. CIO is the standard to which most parents hold, and most doctors recommend (although I've never understood taking a doctor's advice on parenting- they know about diseases and such- that doesn't mean they know diddly about parenting. And besides, half of my experiences with doctors have been that they don't even understand health, let alone psychology.) I know very few parents in real life who don't use some form of CIO at some point.

I challenge that idea. I challenge it because it goes against my intuition, everything I learned in psychology, and the studies that I have found.

I don't understand why we are willing to allow our babies to walk and talk when they are developmentally ready, but not sleep. It's a double-standard. And it makes no sense.

The US is one of the few countries that holds so tightly to this idea that babies should sleep through the night at certain ages, and endorses CIO. In many other countries, co-sleeping is the norm, not the unusual.

My hope was not to change anyone's mind, but I do hope that moms like the OP who may be lurking here see that there is another way besides the accepted CIO method. That's all. I never once thought I'd change the mind of people who did CIO and were fine with the process.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

People who are having trouble AND who know your views probably aren't eager to share with you.

I didn't have kids for about 10 years after all my friends, I spent a lot of time with them though, and sleep was a huge issue for most of them.

See that's just it- nobody knows my views because its never been a topic of conversation. So I don't buy it. Oh- and if someone brings up that they let their kid cry I keep my opinions to myself because it is their child whether I agree with them or not is irrelevant. If sleep was such an issue with your friends it is because they made it one.

 

[princessmom29]

Babies are incapable of manipulation, for instance. My daughter cries to fill a need- I'm sick, I'm hungry, I hurt, I'm cold, I'm sleepy, I'm lonely, I'm scared. She doesn't think, hmmm, I really would like to eat right now, but I know I just ate an hour ago. Maybe I can trick mom into feeding me some more. You cannot attribute cognitive skills that are far beyond a baby's capability. Babies only know needs, not wants. They can't manipulate until they are older. They can't understand cause and effect until they are older.

QUOTE]

I am sorry, but you are totally incorrect here. A 6 month old most certianly DOES understand cause and effect. I cry, and mommy comes running. Every time I cry no matter what. The DO cry for attention. You CAN absolutely teach them that crying for no reason in the middle of the night is not acceptable by not rewarding that behavior. It is simple Pavlovian response to stimulus, and even small puppies manipulate their owners by crying out for attention in the night. If you do not reward the puppy by going in to it, they stop donig it because there is no reward to be had. They don't really need anything, but rather they WANT to be let out. Why should we think a 6 month old baby is incapable of soemthing a 6 week old puppy is a master at? Yes, a 6 month old IS capable of understanding the colleration between crying and getting a response from Mommy. If cying gets them picked up cuddled and taken to bed with Mommy, they are gonig to contiune with the behavior that gets the desired response.

My respones to the argument about developmental rediness is that if babies are not developmentally ready to sleep through the night at 6 months, then how are so many doing it that it seems to be the accepted standard???? By your analogy we should not be getting any results no matter what we try. Babies ARE developmentally ready to sleep through the night at 6 months if we give them the proper skills. Just like you help your child learn to walk and speak you have to help them learn to sleep independently. It is a learned skill.

 

[tiffjoy]

Oh- and if someone brings up that they let their kid cry I keep my opinions to myself because it is their child whether I agree with them or not is irrelevant.

Same here.

I'm only talking about it on here because it was made a point of discussion.

Mouse House Mama-slightly off topic, but it made me think of this... I recently was talking with an old friend who I haven't talked with in years and years. I mentioned something about loving the baby stage. He told me to enjoy it while it lasted because soon enough, she would be "sassing me back and making trouble." He said that he uses this method of discipline with his 5 and 8 year old, and recommended it to me as "it works real well."

Put down uncooked rice down on the floor in a corner- about a cup or so. Make the child kneel on the rice with bare knees and keep their nose to the wall for 30 min.

Utter silence on my end. I hardly knew what to say or do. I finally just excused myself and said I had to get going.

I keep my opinions to myself unless they are solicited, and then, yes, I will present my case and counter arguments.

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't understand why we are willing to allow our babies to walk and talk when they are developmentally ready, but not sleep. It's a double-standard. And it makes no sense.
.

You are comparing apples to oranges. At 6 months of age, ds12 was waking for a bottle at least once a night. Two nights of CIO, he was sleeping soundly. You CAN teach a baby to self sooth. You CAN'T teach a baby to walk. And while you can't teach a baby to talk early, if that child ends up having a speech delay, you CAN teach them to talk (ST worked great with ds7). Dr. Sears claims that most babies aren't developmentally ready to sleep through the night at 6 months. Other doctors feel they are. My personal experience is that all 5 of my kids were absolutely developementally ready to sleep through the night at 6 months.

You don't mind getting up at night to feed your baby, but it sounds like the OP doesn't share your feelings on the matter, and wants to fix things, the sonner, the better.

 

[mjkacmom]

Nice - comparing CIO to torture. Those of us who CIO truly believe it is to benefit the child, and we do it out of love. I don't think interupted sleep is good for anyone.

 

[tiffjoy]

Babies are incapable of manipulation, for instance. My daughter cries to fill a need- I'm sick, I'm hungry, I hurt, I'm cold, I'm sleepy, I'm lonely, I'm scared. She doesn't think, hmmm, I really would like to eat right now, but I know I just ate an hour ago. Maybe I can trick mom into feeding me some more. You cannot attribute cognitive skills that are far beyond a baby's capability. Babies only know needs, not wants. They can't manipulate until they are older. They can't understand cause and effect until they are older.

QUOTE]

I am sorry, but you are totally incorrect here. A 6 month old most certianly DOES understand cause and effect. I cry, and mommy comes running. Every time I cry no matter what. The DO cry for attention. You CAN absolutely teach them that crying for no reason in the middle of the night is not acceptable by not rewarding that behavior. It is simple Pavlovian response to stimulus, and even small puppies manipulate their owners by crying out for attention in the night. If you do not reward the puppy by going in to it, they stop donig it because there is no reward to be had. They don't really need anything, but rather they WANT to be let out. Why should we think a 6 month old baby is incapable of soemthing a 6 week old puppy is a master at? Yes, a 6 month old IS capable of understanding the colleration between crying and getting a response from Mommy. If cying gets them picked up cuddled and taken to bed with Mommy, they are gonig to contiune with the behavior that gets the desired response.

My respones to the argument about developmental rediness is that if babies are not developmentally ready to sleep through the night at 6 months, then how are so many doing it that it seems to be the accepted standard???? By your analogy we should not be getting any results no matter what we try. Babies ARE developmentally ready to sleep through the night at 6 months if we give them the proper skills. Just like you help your child learn to walk and speak you have to help them learn to sleep independently. It is a learned skill.

Again, you have totally misunderstood.

Babies cannot understand complex cause and effect, which is what CIO does. Baby cries during the day, when it is awake, and mama answers. Baby cries in bed at night or for naps, and mama doesn't answer. What's up with that? Personally, and this is just me, but I find it to be a violation of trust, and that's just how I feel. My baby doesn't understand why one time, I answer her cry, and another, i don't.

Maybe I should stop responding to your posts, and you'll get the message to stop posting. See? Isn't that ridiculous to say? Of course... just as assuming that a baby should be able to distinguish between when mama will answer a cry, and when she won't.

Just like I can't force my daughter to walk until she is ready, I will not force her to sleep alone and through the night until she is ready.

So, you propose that i teach my daughter to walk by forcing her, as you support forcing babies to sleep? How, pray tell, would that exactly work?

BTW, puppies are actually more advanced, developmentally, than humans. They naturally wean at an earlier, walk sooner, and are also far less complex brain wise, than humans. I'm not in the habit of trying to keep my baby on the same developmental track as a puppy. You would do better to compare chimpanzees and humans since we are more alike in terms of DNA. If you did, then you would find that chimps do not, in fact, support CIO, but often co-sleep.

 

[tiffjoy]

Nice - comparing CIO to torture. Those of us who CIO truly believe it is to benefit the child, and we do it out of love. I don't think interupted sleep is good for anyone.

Where on earth did I compare the two?

now people are just trying to find ways to get irritated with me.

I said, and I quote, "off topic" and I directed it to the OP of the message. I was saying, I mind my own business in real life.

really...

 

[tiffjoy]

You are comparing apples to oranges. At 6 months of age, ds12 was waking for a bottle at least once a night. Two nights of CIO, he was sleeping soundly. You CAN teach a baby to self sooth. You CAN'T teach a baby to walk. And while you can't teach a baby to talk early, if that child ends up having a speech delay, you CAN teach them to talk (ST worked great with ds7). Dr. Sears claims that most babies aren't developmentally ready to sleep through the night at 6 months. Other doctors feel they are. My personal experience is that all 5 of my kids were absolutely developementally ready to sleep through the night at 6 months.

You don't mind getting up at night to feed your baby, but it sounds like the OP doesn't share your feelings on the matter, and wants to fix things, the sonner, the better.

I disagree.

 

[mjkacmom]

Just like I can't force my daughter to walk until she is ready, I will not force her to sleep alone and through the night until she is ready.

So, you propose that i teach my daughter to walk by forcing her, as you support forcing babies to sleep? How, pray tell, would that exactly work?
QUOTE]

This is what you are not getting! Give me your child, and in 2 nights, I'll have her sleeping through the night. Give me your child, and, no matter what I do, I can't get her to walk. They're 2 totally different issues. If your child is not walking at 2, she needs help. IMHO (and that many others share), if a baby is not sleeping through the night at 6 months, she needs help.

We disagree about the timeframe of when babies should be able to sleep through the night. What if your child is still waking at 3? 5? Does that means she's not developmentally ready to sleep through the night. What if she's 5, and still not wanting to potty train? Is it still her call?

 

[tiffjoy]

Just like I can't force my daughter to walk until she is ready, I will not force her to sleep alone and through the night until she is ready.

So, you propose that i teach my daughter to walk by forcing her, as you support forcing babies to sleep? How, pray tell, would that exactly work?
QUOTE]

This is what you are not getting! Give me your child, and in 2 nights, I'll have her sleeping through the night. Give me your child, and, no matter what I do, I can't get her to walk. They're 2 totally different issues. If your child is not walking at 2, she needs help. IMHO (and that many others share), if a baby is not sleeping through the night at 6 months, she needs help.

It would be a cold day in h-e- double hockey sticks that I would do that. And even then, I wouldn't.

I don't see them as different at all. I fail to see the failure in logic. Babies sleep through the night when they are developmentally ready, same as talking and walking. Yes, there is a general time frame, but it is not at precisely 6 months. Also, you don't have to do painful, heartrending things to do speech therapy and such, if she wasn't walking and talking.

Incidentally, before the advent of speech therapy, etc., I have a friend who didn't talk until he was 3. perfectly normal guy, no issues, and he's actually incredibly smart. But not a word did he say until he was 3 years old.

People get so hung up on "baby should do this at this age" and "baby should do this at that age." It's like growth percentages. If a baby is in the 10th percentile, people freak. Um, the way averages work out, some babies will be in the 10th, some in the 90th. That's what creates an average. YOu have to take babies on a case by case basis.

We disagree about the timeframe of when babies should be able to sleep through the night. What if your child is still waking at 3? 5? Does that means she's not developmentally ready to sleep through the night. What if she's 5, and still not wanting to potty train? Is it still her call?

I intend to send my daughter to high school in training pants, and I already have a double bed reserved for her at college because she'll still need to co-sleep.

Come on...

 

[mjkacmom]

ItIncidentally, before the advent of speech therapy, etc., I have a friend who didn't talk until he was 3. perfectly normal guy, no issues, and he's actually incredibly smart. But not a word did he say until he was 3 years old.
...

I have 2 friends who's ds' didn't speak at 2 - turns out they're autistic. Good thing they got EI right away, because the earlier you start, the better it works. Same for my nephew with apraxia, a neurological speech delay which will NOT get better without intensive therapy over many years. I'd never wait until 3, but I'm certified in special education.

 

[tiffjoy]

I have 2 friends who's ds' didn't speak at 2 - turns out they're autistic. Good thing they got EI right away, because the earlier you start, the better it works. Same for my nephew with apraxia, a neurological speech delay which will NOT get better without intensive therapy over many years. I'd never wait until 3, but I'm certified in special education.

Please look again at what I said, which you quoted.

Again, this was before the advent of speech therapy.

I never told anyone not to get speech therapy for their children. I was pointing out that there is a range for developmental milestones, and although many kids talk at a certain age, or walk at a certain age, there is a range. It's not "they walk at exactly 12 months" or "they sleep through the night at exactly 6 months."

I have worked and volunteered with children and adults with autism for over 10 years. I certainly wouldn't take it lightly if my 3 year old wasn't talking. Again, this was years and years ago- the guy I'm referring to is 47.

 

[jodifla]

People have said mean things about my method of raising my daughter, and it doesn't offend or insult me. I think you need to turn down the sensitivity meter when posting online.

Additionally, there are studies that show CIO is detrimental to a child. I don't know if I can post links on this board or not, but I'd be happy to PM them to you, if you'd like to look at them and see that I am backing up what I am saying. Additionally, I pointed out that there are extremes.

For instance, one guy at work told me that he let his 1 year old cry for 5 hours in her bed until she passed out. He said, in a joking way, that she was very hoarse the next day. But, "she learned her lesson!" This is not the only case of extreme CIO that I have heard of personally. For some reason, all my co-workers have suddenly decided to share un-solicited parenting advice with me, and they all did CIO. If I have to listen to one more person brag about how after 3 weeks, there kid stopped crying, I'm going to start crying!



Good for your child. That is most certainly not the case with all babies.



So, I'm not allowed to say I don't understand?

What if someone said to you, "I hate Disneyworld. It's boring, stupid, and I didn't have any fun when I was there. Food was awful, rides were dull, and the characters were silly." Would you say, "Oh, I completely understand!" No, you'd probably say, "I don't get that. We have an awesome time. Maybe you had a bad experience? I could offer some tips to you that might help you have more fun next time?"

But because I love nursing and parenting my daughter to sleep, there is something wrong with me saying that I don't understand why people don't enjoy doing that?



You really are comparing me not putting my daughter in a crib and letting her cry herself to sleep to letting her do whatever she wants?

Thank you for making two points for me:

1. People who don't do CIO with their babies are viewed as wishy-washy parents who don't have boundaries and discipline.

2. People often mistake babies for tiny adults and try to act the same way towards both. Thinking that you need to "teach" your baby to sleep now or all h-e-double hockey sticks will break loose when she is 13 is just plain silly. Babies are incapable of manipulation, for instance. My daughter cries to fill a need- I'm sick, I'm hungry, I hurt, I'm cold, I'm sleepy, I'm lonely, I'm scared. She doesn't think, hmmm, I really would like to eat right now, but I know I just ate an hour ago. Maybe I can trick mom into feeding me some more. You cannot attribute cognitive skills that are far beyond a baby's capability. Babies only know needs, not wants. They can't manipulate until they are older. They can't understand cause and effect until they are older.

When my daughter is a teenager, of course I won't still be fitting my life around hers. That was a plain ridiculous assumption to draw from what I said.

And you have no idea why your co-workers are doing this?? Really???????

 

[tiffjoy]

And you have no idea why your co-workers are doing this?? Really???????

I'm sorry- were you trying to be sarcastic?

I don't talk about my parenting methods at work. I don't seek out my co-workers for parenting advice. I think only one or two know I co-sleep, but those are women who share my views. I had a baby, and out of the woodwork, everyone decided to shower me with their parenting methods.

 

[jodifla]

I'm sorry- were you trying to be sarcastic?

I don't talk about my parenting methods at work. I don't seek out my co-workers for parenting advice. I think only one or two know I co-sleep, but those are women who share my views. I had a baby, and out of the woodwork, everyone decided to shower me with their parenting methods.

No, I was just asking. Because you come off as incredibly strident.

We all know who Dr. Sears is. We all know what attachment parenting is. You read the description, and it either it appeals to you....or it doesn't.

So what's your version of parenting heaven is my version of hell -- My son's as well. He didn't like nursing, he didn't like being "worn" and he slept best when he slept in his own room.

There was a Wash. Post story this weekend that detailed many studies that basically said it's nature, not nurture. That several studies of twins show that kids basically came out the same no matter who raises them. So much of what we do for parenting is really what works and appeals to us, not our kids.

 

[tiffjoy]

No, I was just asking. Because you come of as incredibly strident.

We all know who Dr. Sears is. We all know what attachment parenting is. You read the description, and it either it appeals to you....or it doesn't.

So what's your version of parenting heaven is my version of hell -- My son's as well. He didn't like nursing, he didn't like being "worn" and he slept best when he slept in his own room.

There was a Wash. Post story this weekend that detailed many studies that basically said it's nature, not nurture. That several studies of twins show that kids basically came out the same no matter who raises them. So much of what we do for parenting is really what works and appeals to us, not our kids.

Strident? Because I'm voicing my opinion? Ok... I don't get that, but I think that most people don't come across completely correctly over the net as they do in real life. I really don't talk to anyone in real life about parenting unless is comes up, and then I stand by my choices.

Not everyone knows who Dr Sears is or what attachment parenting is. As evidence by the poster who freaked out when I said "parenting my child to sleep." Can't remember who it was now, but they weren't familiar with attachment phrases and thought I was saying people who do CIO aren't parents.

I'll have to look up the study for myself before commenting. As we all know, you can basically prove anything, so I look carefully at any study before I listen to the results.

I know many people have babies who don't care for co-sleeping or being held, and have slept on their own quite well from the very beginning. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Dr Sears doesn't recommend forcing co-sleeping on baby's who don't like it. Actually, he doesn't even say you have to co-sleep, it's just an option.

That parenting would not work for my daughter- she cried if I put her down from the very moment she popped into this world. I didn't sleep either night I was in the hospital after giving birth because she cried if I put her in her bassinet thingy, but slept just fine as long as I held her. I was petrified I would drop or hurt her, and spent a couple weeks at my wits end before realizing that we could co-sleep and everything would be just fine. I always say, she chose co-sleeping, not me. I want parents to know that they can listen to their babies and their own instincts.

If your baby likes sleeping on his own, that's great. If mine did, that's what we would do. But she doesn't, and I won't force it on her. That's all I've been trying to say- you have to listen to the baby and what they need.

I won't comment on the nursing thing- that's way too sensitive a subject. I think that nursing or not nursing is such a personal choice, and it's a very emotionally charged subject that i try to avoid.

 

[princessmom29]

Again, you have totally misunderstood.

Babies cannot understand complex cause and effect, which is what CIO does. Baby cries during the day, when it is awake, and mama answers. Baby cries in bed at night or for naps, and mama doesn't answer. What's up with that? Personally, and this is just me, but I find it to be a violation of trust, and that's just how I feel. My baby doesn't understand why one time, I answer her cry, and another, i don't.

Maybe I should stop responding to your posts, and you'll get the message to stop posting. See? Isn't that ridiculous to say? Of course... just as assuming that a baby should be able to distinguish between when mama will answer a cry, and when she won't.

Just like I can't force my daughter to walk until she is ready, I will not force her to sleep alone and through the night until she is ready.

So, you propose that i teach my daughter to walk by forcing her, as you support forcing babies to sleep? How, pray tell, would that exactly work?

BTW, puppies are actually more advanced, developmentally, than humans. They naturally wean at an earlier, walk sooner, and are also far less complex brain wise, than humans. I'm not in the habit of trying to keep my baby on the same developmental track as a puppy. You would do better to compare chimpanzees and humans since we are more alike in terms of DNA. If you did, then you would find that chimps do not, in fact, support CIO, but often co-sleep.

I didn't misunedrstand at all. You haver once again purposely tried to twist what I am saying. I NEVER said anything about forcing a child to walk, come on, really??? I don't think anyone here is that stupid. As it has been pointed out several times by other posters you are comparing apples to oranges. You cannnot FORCE a baby to sleep when it doesn't want to, and I have yet to see anyone suggest doing so. The only thing anyone has suggested here is giving the baby the skills to fall asleep when they choose, and to go back to sleep without assistance should they wake. I simly cannot see how that is a bad thing?? I also haven't seen anyone advocating leaving a crying baby without responding for any more than 5 min. A far cry from hours at a time.

Again, I am not stupid. I fully realize that puppies are more advanced at an earlier age than humans. That is why I compared a six WEEK old puppy to a six MONTH old human. They are at approximately the same stage of EMOTIONAL development at that point. They BOTH fully understand how to use whining to get what they want, as does a 6 month old chimp. Have you ever sat and watched footage of chimps at play? Baby chimps are master minipulators almost from birth. Chimp moms co-sleep because they don't want their babies eaten. I hope no one here is in danger of that. If you are then I fully advocate co-sleeping. Otherwise, not so much.

It boils down to you doing what you choose and everyone else doing what they choose, and that is fine. I do however resent the implication that I am a horrible, selfish, unattached parent if I don't nurse my child to sleep and jump every time she cries, which by the way, I didn't do during the day either. My dd cried almost continually as an infant as a result of severe colic, and I ran myself to the point of total exhaustion. I was face down on the couch and unsure if I could get up or not the next time she screamed. It was then that I realized, with the help of my mom, that sometimes babies just cry and there is nothing they need. Sometimes they cry just because, and letting them cry for 5 min will not kill them. If you pick them up every time they wimper, you will drive yourself crazy and have a baby that expects you to jump and run at every little wimper.