Open Relationships?!?

[FutureDisneyEventPlanner]

I guess that explains that.


I think what is being suggested is that your poll is inherently biased because it is worded in such a way as to reflect your opinion, therefore skewing the results.

I am biased. I’ll admit that. I guess because I’ve seen the hurt that an “open relationship” can cause. Although, I’m not really concerned about the poll results as much as I am the comments. Lol.

 

[jevs]

I didn’t vote as there isn’t an ‘other’

I’ve known people who have been in an open relationship, yet it wasn’t open at all. Things didn’t end well for either party. I guess if all parties were honest about their intentions it would work. I don’t know, I have no desire to have a relationship with more than one man, and I wouldn’t date anyone who was/is/wanted to be in an open relationshp.

As an aside, the incidence of STIs have been increasing in recent years.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-08-16/why-are-stis-on-the-rise-in-australia/8774378

 

[FutureDisneyEventPlanner]

I have added an “other” option

 

[jevs]

I have added an “other” option

 

[Kitty 34]

I have added an “other” option

I can't even figure out how to start a poll so to add to it.....amazing!!!

 

[Wendy31]

I have been in a closed relationship for 38 years. One person is enough work thank you.

I've been in happy "closed relationship" for almost 23 years, but I sometimes fantasize about having a set of "brother husbands"...

This is my pediatrician husband. This is my photographer husband. This is my computer genious husband. This is my yacht-owning husband. This is my orthodontist husband. This is my home reno husband. This is my private chef husband. This is my Disney castmember who can get us in the parks for free husband.

And I always thought swinging was a 70s thing, but it's cute how the millenials, since it's a "risque," going against the grain kinda lifestyle, think they started the trend.

 

[amberpi]

I don’t know, I have no desire to have a relationship with more than one man, and I wouldn’t date anyone who was/is/wanted to be in an open relationshp.

You wouldn't be involved with someone who had been in an open relationship? That's pretty interesting to me. Like I said, not for me in the present and future tense but I find I have 0 feelings about a potential partners past history. Would you care to explain? Again, just wondering...no judgement at all; it just would never strike me to care about the terms of a man's past relationships so your comment stuck out to me.

 

[Disneylover99]

You wouldn't be involved with someone who had been in an open relationship? That's pretty interesting to me. Like I said, not for me in the present and future tense but I find I have 0 feelings about a potential partners past history. Would you care to explain? Again, just wondering...no judgement at all; it just would never strike me to care about the terms of a man's past relationships so your comment stuck out to me.

I'm not the poster you're asking, but since I consider an open relationship an excuse to cheat, I figure, once a cheater always a cheater and I would want no part of that.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

You wouldn't be involved with someone who had been in an open relationship? That's pretty interesting to me. Like I said, not for me in the present and future tense but I find I have 0 feelings about a potential partners past history. Would you care to explain? Again, just wondering...no judgement at all; it just would never strike me to care about the terms of a man's past relationships so your comment stuck out to me.

I think it can really depend on how important or vital being in an open relationship was for that person for that previous relationship. Never say never of course but I can see how someone would feel uncomfortable at the idea--especially is the majority of committed relationships the person previously had were open ones. Questions like "would they want me to be in one in the future", "would they stay with me if I wasn't open to the idea of an open relationship", etc. Some people are take it or leave it with open relationships and some it's not so much of a take it or leave it thing. I would want to respect the other person and what they want and desire and know that it's just not something I'd want to even think for a second about being open to (pun not necessarily intended lol).

It's like for me I need to be with someone who is ok with a level of public display of affection. I'm not talking full on 'need a bedroom' type thing but holding hands, hugging, quick kiss, 'love you's, etc. {And my husband is a type of person who has no problem with a level of public display of affection}.

It would be difficult for me if I was in a relationship with someone who didn't do that and I'm not sure I would even get far enough into the relationship with someone who was against that or didn't like to do that with their past relationships. It's very important to me. Conversely my husband's coworker does not under any circumstances do what I listed above. He, and his wife as well, are very private people. I'm confident that neither one of them would want to be with someone who liked to have a quick kiss in public or hold hands in public, etc.

You can also say that about people who don't want to date someone who has children already. For some people it's a 'no way' and for others it's a 'NBD' thing.

 

[amberpi]

I'm not the poster you're asking, but since I consider an open relationship an excuse to cheat, I figure, once a cheater always a cheater and I would want no part of that.

Ok, I can see how that would make sense from that point of view. Interesting discussion.

 

[jevs]

You wouldn't be involved with someone who had been in an open relationship? That's pretty interesting to me. Like I said, not for me in the present and future tense but I find I have 0 feelings about a potential partners past history. Would you care to explain? Again, just wondering...no judgement at all; it just would never strike me to care about the terms of a man's past relationships so your comment stuck out to me.

It comes down to my personal values/morals. Nothing more.

I’m also quite picky when it comes to my men. I don’t give a damn about their spelling, grammar, or use of text speak. Nor do I give a damn about their wealth and social status. I care about how they treat people, and if they share the same values as myself.

I wouldn’t date a man who has been in an open relationship because I find it crosses the line into having your cake and eating it/cheating/inability to commit. I couldn’t care less about one night stands or the amount of partners they’ve had.

What everyone else wants to do is up to them, I don’t have to play.

 

[cobright]

A little different perspective... My wife and I share a portion of our relationship with a dear friend. It's a platonic relationship but at the more affectionate end of the spectrum. She travels almost constantly and this creates an orbit where we rarely spend more than a week or two at a time together but it is time we all cherish. I can understand how some might extend this level of sharing as a constant.

I do think that relationships that begin as strict monogamy tend to "open up" to address something that is lacking and I'm not at all convinced this route is the best one if the goal is a stronger relationship with that person. That said, I know a poly trio that's been together for 15 years now and most of marriages I've attended have fallen apart already.

I was first introduced to the idea when I started reading Heinlein books when I was in junior high in the 80s. The books were written at least a generation prior.

I remember Friday finding a place for a while in a group marriage. This portrayal seemed both fantastic and realistic in the family politicking and shareholding going on.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I understand why you and a previous poster would consider it "inaccurate". But as I mentioned before, it's simply my opinion. I think it's an excuse to cheat. Or more specifically, an excuse to sleep around with no repercussions. I suppose I should've worded it that way.

Admittedly, I'm no authority on the subject but I don't think it works that way. Or, at least, not all open relationships are structured in the way your statement implies, which is that one or both (or more?) parties are free to engage in any activity with anyone they want at any time. I'd imagine each situation would involve mutually agreed upon boundaries regarding the who, when, and where of it. Being in an open relationship doesn't necessarily mean you have a hall pass to hook up with any random stranger you meet in a bar while your partner sits at home none the wiser. There are still relationship rules to be followed and betrayals can still occur.

Personally, I'm content with the one relationship I have and can't see myself ever having a desire to change things up, but I'm not going to lie...there are days where the idea of a sister wife to help with the cooking, cleaning, and childcare doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world.

 

[J'aime Paris]

I must live a sheltered life....
I don't personally know anyone who has been in an open relationship or who swings with other couples.

It wouldn't be for me though.

 

[Marchand63]

If you want to risk your health go for it. In my house - Oh Hades NO!!!

 

[amberpi]

It comes down to my personal values/morals. Nothing more.

I’m also quite picky when it comes to my men. I don’t give a damn about their spelling, grammar, or use of text speak. Nor do I give a damn about their wealth and social status. I care about how they treat people, and if they share the same values as myself.

I wouldn’t date a man who has been in an open relationship because I find it crosses the line into having your cake and eating it/cheating/inability to commit. I couldn’t care less about one night stands or the amount of partners they’ve had.

What everyone else wants to do is up to them, I don’t have to play.

Thanks for the explaination and also to @Mackenzie Click-Mickelson. It's an interesting topic for sure.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I do not think once a cheater always a cheater. I know a few people who cheated 20 plus years ago and then haven't again.
Doesn't bother me what people do in their bedrooms.
Seems like a number of couples now have a huge difference in drive - and it can create issues. Sex on the side can help. (Just MY opinion)

 

[tzolkin]

A little different perspective... My wife and I share a portion of our relationship with a dear friend. It's a platonic relationship but at the more affectionate end of the spectrum. She travels almost constantly and this creates an orbit where we rarely spend more than a week or two at a time together but it is time we all cherish. I can understand how some might extend this level of sharing as a constant.

I do think that relationships that begin as strict monogamy tend to "open up" to address something that is lacking and I'm not at all convinced this route is the best one if the goal is a stronger relationship with that person. That said, I know a poly trio that's been together for 15 years now and most of marriages I've attended have fallen apart already.


I remember Friday finding a place for a while in a group marriage. This portrayal seemed both fantastic and realistic in the family politicking and shareholding going on.

I know in some sense it’s semantics, but I would not consider poly the same thing as “open”. I think most of the comments have been addressing “open relationships” as those where the partners are free to sleep with whomever they want (as opposed to a relationship that includes more than two partners)

 

[BWV Dreamin]

Why not? I haven’t seen because its against certain religious beliefs posted so I guess I’ll be the first. “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife”.....

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I've been in happy "closed relationship" for almost 23 years, but I sometimes fantasize about having a set of "brother husbands"...

This is my pediatrician husband. This is my photographer husband. This is my computer genious husband. This is my yacht-owning husband. This is my orthodontist husband. This is my home reno husband. This is my private chef husband. This is my Disney castmember who can get us in the parks for free husband.

And I always thought swinging was a 70s thing, but it's cute how the millenials, since it's a "risque," going against the grain kinda lifestyle, think they started the trend.

That was my thought. The OP gave me a good laugh for the day.

And yes, like you I thought it was pretty big or at least talked about like it was big, in the 70's. Oh, and I've been in a "closed" relationship for for 28 years. But I am not interested, in the least, about having anything even close to an open or swinging or whatever else they are calling it, relationship.