Piglet843
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2006
I am a mother, a wife, and a full time employee.
I am independent, strong, great at my job, I do my dangest to fulfill my hubbies needs, and every ounce of what I have left I give to my kid. That's exactly how I want it. Life is good.
But, I have harbored resentment towards my husband for a while now. I have even posted on here about it before. He stays up very late, sleeps in, is away doing his hobbies several times a week, naps (even after sleeping in) on the weekends instead of playing with us or helping out. Doesn't help out unless I specifically ask for something. He's got the good life. I am jealous.
Apparently though - its not his fault - its mine.
Last night - we got a sitter for a couple hours. Wine tasting and dinner. Well, on the way back home, I had apparently had just enough wine that I thought I'd speak openly. I told him my concerns and how I don't feel like he appreciates me or understands how hard it is on me. I told him - he gets time for himself all the time. He has 4-5 hours everynight where he's just doing whatever - tv, games, phone... I don't get a second to myself. I even stay up late on his hours to meet his needs, but still have to get up early with the kid and to go to work/school. Every waking second I have is Kid, Job, Kid, him, house & responsibilities...
He had the nerve to tell me that its my own fault. That I don't ask for help or ask for time to myself or ask to go out or get a way for a bit. And you can't help someone who wont help themselves - right? That's when I quit talking and just cried the rest of the way home.
So today I am broke. I am tired and angry - and I see now that its all my own fault that I've made myself this way instead of asking for help or asking for some me time.
I don't want to be around my child any less than I already am. I work 8-9 hour days M-F. My evenings and my weekends with him are our time and I cherish that more than anything. I don't want to just farm him out.
But I'm not fixing anything by harboring anger towards my husband for what he has that I don't.
So, can anyone help guide me on the path I need to take from here.
How do I fix this? How do I fix me?
Fire Away - it won't hurt any worse that what hubby said.
I am independent, strong, great at my job, I do my dangest to fulfill my hubbies needs, and every ounce of what I have left I give to my kid. That's exactly how I want it. Life is good.
But, I have harbored resentment towards my husband for a while now. I have even posted on here about it before. He stays up very late, sleeps in, is away doing his hobbies several times a week, naps (even after sleeping in) on the weekends instead of playing with us or helping out. Doesn't help out unless I specifically ask for something. He's got the good life. I am jealous.
Apparently though - its not his fault - its mine.
Last night - we got a sitter for a couple hours. Wine tasting and dinner. Well, on the way back home, I had apparently had just enough wine that I thought I'd speak openly. I told him my concerns and how I don't feel like he appreciates me or understands how hard it is on me. I told him - he gets time for himself all the time. He has 4-5 hours everynight where he's just doing whatever - tv, games, phone... I don't get a second to myself. I even stay up late on his hours to meet his needs, but still have to get up early with the kid and to go to work/school. Every waking second I have is Kid, Job, Kid, him, house & responsibilities...
He had the nerve to tell me that its my own fault. That I don't ask for help or ask for time to myself or ask to go out or get a way for a bit. And you can't help someone who wont help themselves - right? That's when I quit talking and just cried the rest of the way home.
So today I am broke. I am tired and angry - and I see now that its all my own fault that I've made myself this way instead of asking for help or asking for some me time.
I don't want to be around my child any less than I already am. I work 8-9 hour days M-F. My evenings and my weekends with him are our time and I cherish that more than anything. I don't want to just farm him out.
But I'm not fixing anything by harboring anger towards my husband for what he has that I don't.
So, can anyone help guide me on the path I need to take from here.
How do I fix this? How do I fix me?
Fire Away - it won't hurt any worse that what hubby said.