"Dress Coded"

[china mom]

I had to laugh......From the front page of the school's website... 300 kids in matching shirts taken on "unity day". This young lady is in the front row. I can't even tell she is wearing shorts.

 

[luvsJack]

My youngest goes to a school with a very strict uniform policy. I posted earlier this year about him getting written up for mis-matched socks.

Our school specifies the uniform pieces come from a certain company (Dennis uniform). They have separate styles for boys and girls and are styled appropriately for older kids. I agree with you that it can be pricey (we have to do the blazer thing next year, I think it's ridiculous) but with Dennis at least the items wear like iron. DS's have been washed twice a week for the entire school year and still look new. We also do a uniform exchange over the summer that keeps the costs down. I don't think I'm spending more overall than I would on regular school clothes. They don't specify shoes, the kids can wear what they want as long as they have closed toes.

For public schools, it wouldn't have to be that specific. We used to live in a neighborhood that had a public school that wore uniforms. They specified khaki bottoms of a couple different styles (plus a jumper and skort option for girls) and a different color collared shirt for every grade, no visible logos. That was it. As soon as the uniform policy was announced, every store in town that sold kids clothes threw up a display of appropriate pieces - you could find them everywhere from Macy's to Wal-mart.

I don't see length as an issue as long as the important bits and pieces are covered. Forget the length requirements, replace them with a coverage requirement and that settles that issue.

All the area public schools have this similar policy. They can wear khaki or black shorts, pants, skirts or jumpers; some schools also allow navy blue. And the polo shirts are usually school colors so in middle school DD could wear white, black or gold and in high school white, maroon, gray or black. Shirts could not have an emblem but everyone knew what store they came from by looking at them. They had to wear a belt and it had to be brown or black. And of course the infamous sock rule of wearing white or black socks. Shoes could be any color but not more than two colors at the same time.

The elementary/middle school and the high school had almost the exact same code word for word. (two different school districts) But enforcement was very different.

At middle school: they measure shorts and skirts almost every day. Sock checks were done. The belt rule was enforced with no exceptions (if their belt broke 30 minutes before school was out, they called parents to bring another one). The shoes were enforced--this is the one that got dd a warning once. We bought her a new pair of sneakers and admittedly they were three colors but the third color was in such a few tiny sports that I didn't even realize. I would say a good 30% of their day was spent on dress code rather than instruction.

At high school: Shorts and skirts were only measured IF they were short enough to be noticeable. No one cared about socks. Belts had to be worn but unless they were made out of a dog chain, they didn't care about color or material (some girls used scarves for belts to try and add some color and individualize their uniform). No one cared about shoes unless they tried to wear heels or shoes with wheels. And every Friday, they had a "free day" and could wear jeans and a spirit t-shirt.

It seemed like to me, there was a whole lot less push from the students about the dress code/uniforms.

 

[amberpi]

So, I looked up our dress code:

DRESS CODE
The XXXXXXXXXX County Board of Education has a strong commitment to the learning process and has a legitimate interest in regulating student attire and appearance during the school day in an effort to avoid disruption, to promote self-discipline, to promote student health and safety, and to maintain an atmosphere conducive to learning. The school reserves the right to exclude items of apparel or accessories which prove to be:
• Harmful or detrimental to the health, safety or physical well-being of students.
• Damaging to physical facilities.
• Disruptive to normal school activities.
• Individual schools have the right to further define acceptable wearing apparel or accessories.

I cant find anything on our Middle School website with any additional dress code information. It sounds like this teacher is going rogue.

You can file a formal complaint it sounds like. From what you've described, his behavior is making your daughter uncomfortable. I bet it is to more students than just your child. I hope this improve. Dude sounds like he's on some kind of power trip, or just a straight up perv.

 

[luvsJack]

My high school did this 20 years ago and more. It's what they do to make sure kids aren't wearing inappropriate shorts and other clothes.
I agree that both genders should be checked (and they were when I was in school), but more than likely the boys aren't getting checked as much because they don't commonly wear "booty shorts" to school like the young ladies.

If they can't tell that a girl is wearing "booty shorts" just by looking at her and not doing the fingertip test, then they don't know what booty shorts are.

My sister went to school in the 60's. They measured their skirts (couldn't wear pants) and made sure their bangs were not below their eyebrows every day.

 

[EMom]

Schools aren’t really worried about shoulders showing with tank tops, especially with girls. Tank top armholes under the arm can be pretty loose or low cut. Combine that with a skimpy bra, and you get a good amount of side breast showing, especially when an arm is raised.

This is very common. So the shoulders aren’t the issue so much as breast coverage. The schools just don’t come out and say that. The “no tank top” rule is a blanket method of dealing with those who would push the envelope, without having to target specific kids and point out you can see their breast.

You have plenty of kids like DD, who would be mortified if she was showing sideboob all day. You have others who have that as a goal.

I’m not going to argue the rule. I’m just offering a little insight.

 

[amberpi]

My sister went to school in the 60's. They measured their skirts (couldn't wear pants) and made sure their bangs were not below their eyebrows every day.

So in the 60s did they also tell her what hairstyles are appropriate?

 

[TikiBabe]

If they can't tell that a girl is wearing "booty shorts" just by looking at her and not doing the fingertip test, then they don't know what booty shorts are.

My sister went to school in the 60's. They measured their skirts (couldn't wear pants) and made sure their bangs were not below their eyebrows every day.

This was my point.

 

[Moliphino]

My sister went to school in the 60's. They measured their skirts (couldn't wear pants) and made sure their bangs were not below their eyebrows every day.

I would have been so screwed. My bangs are never above my eyebrows.

 

[EMom]

So in the 60s did they also tell her what hairstyles are appropriate?

I grew up in a school district that outlined hair for the guys. Very specific measurements. It was a strict policy and I think they still have it. Our local district has it.

 

[quandrea]

I hope you don't mind me using you as a sounding board. I am not all that sure how to react to this.

I noticed that despite a weather forecast of 80 degrees, my 14 year old Middle School daughter was wearing long pants. I asked her why as she said "I don't want to be dress coded" Upon further questioning, it came out that one teacher - her music teacher, makes the girls who are wearing shorts stand with their hands at their sides and show that there shorts are longer than their fingertips.

Now, my daughter is a total tomboy and prefers wearing long shorts (think around the knees) over short ones so I am pretty sure that most of her shorts are in compliance with the dress code. She just doesn't want to stand there and be examined so she wears long pants every other day when she has this particular class.

I asked her if the boys were "dress coded" and she wasn't sure but doesn't think so. I asked what happens if your shorts are too short and she told me that you get sent to the office for that period.

Now, I am all in favor of setting some sort of standard and I don't think that "booty shorts" have a place in school but I feel that this one teacher checking all the girls as they enter the classroom is kind of demeaning and maybe a little creepy.

Thoughts?

This is the standard for measuring appropriate length for shorts in schools. I think it’s fine. We used to have to kneel on the floor to make sure our kilts skimmed the ground. If they didn’t, we were sent home until the length was correct. I’m all for appropriate dress in school. I explain to my own kids and to my students in the past that there is certain appropriate dress parameters in the workplace and that school is their workplace. I’d support the school in this and not make an issue of it with your daughter.

 

[amberpi]

I grew up in a school district that outlined hair for the guys. Very specific measurements. It was a strict policy and I think they still have it. Our local district has it.

Your public school tells students how to style their hair? At some point that school board is going to have issues, either legal or pr related (more probable).

 

[china mom]

This is the standard for measuring appropriate length for shorts in schools. I think it’s fine. We used to have to kneel on the floor to make sure our kilts skimmed the ground. If they didn’t, we were sent home until the length was correct. I’m all for appropriate dress in school. I explain to my own kids and to my students in the past that there is certain appropriate dress parameters in the workplace and that school is their workplace. I’d support the school in this and not make an issue of it with your daughter.

My issue isn't with the dress code or the enforcement of the dress code. It is the policy this teacher has that every girl in shorts but be measured on the way into the room - even when the shorts are clearly long enough (almost knee length) and it appears that only girls are singled out.

 

[luvsJack]

So in the 60s did they also tell her what hairstyles are appropriate?

Well, they didn't have to have bangs but she did and they had to be above the eyebrow. My sister, the little rebel that she is, had her bangs cut a miniscule above the eyebrow. Mom got called in and she fussed at the principal and he would say ok and agree they were above the eye brow and the next week they would do it all over again. Mom finally started making her wear her hair in some kind of updo on hair checking day. LOL it was quite funny to me because I was usually with mom as she told off the principal and the look on his face as he agree with her was just too funny. Mom didn't care what the rule was, she thought it was stupid to take the time to measure bangs (like they held a ruler up to the top edge of the eyebrow and if any bangs came down under the ruler, parents were called, dsis's were like right at the line)

By the time I was in high school in the 70's, the same school didn't enforce many dress code violations at all. Boys hair was supposed to be no longer than their collar. I had two brothers in my class with hair down to the middle of their backs.

 

[quandrea]

My issue isn't with the dress code or the enforcement of the dress code. It is the policy this teacher has that every girl in shorts but be measured on the way into the room - even when the shorts are clearly long enough (almost knee length) and it appears that only girls are singled out.

Still no issue with it. All they are doing is putting their arms at their sides.

 

[luvsJack]

This was my point.

What was your point?

You said you didn't see the issue with measuring the girl's shorts and went on to mention booty shorts. Booty shorts are very obviously shorter than the mid thigh to knee length that is required. So I am just a little confused.

 

[Someluck]

It would bother me if the music teacher was a male teacher who was going out of his way to check the length of young girls shorts.

 

[luvsJack]

Still no issue with it. All they are doing is putting their arms at their sides.

If a girl is so uncomfortable that she isn't wearing shorts, there is a problem with it.

 

[EMom]

Your public school tells students how to style their hair? At some point that school board is going to have issues, either legal or pr related (more probable).

Well, it’s been in place, with few modifications, for decades. So I think it’s safe. People move to districts with stricter or more relaxed standards, and around here, you know which is which. I was a bit surprised the local district had such a policy, but I’m not surprised my home town school still does. It has always had the reputation of being very strict, but people WANT to move there for that reason. The local school has these rules in place, but they aren’t so rigid about enforcing them as my home town. From what I see, they let you go a little outside the box. You just can’t wander off.

 

[AppleDumpling]

IMO, it’s okay to have reasonable guidelines of what is appropriate to wear to school and what is not. But I agree that all too often, the rules are sexist against girls. The one exception I’m aware of is related to boy’s hair length, as mentioned above. This is still fairly common in private schools. One I’m familiar with says boy’s hair can’t be over the ears and/or the collar. And also no pierced ears for boys. While girls are allowed to wear their hair in any length and style and have pierced ears. (And neither girls nor boys can have nose rings or other facial or tongue piercings, or hair dyed in any “unnatural” color.)

Still, I don’t think any child should be singled out and “tested”. Dress code violations are usually pretty obvious immediately on sight.

 

[EMom]

A bit OT, but about 10 years ago, we met friends at a hotel. Our kids were friends too. The mom said something to her kids like, “We are going to check in and what’s the first thing we do when we check into a hotel?”

I’m thinking, “Spray Lysol on everything, check for bed bugs, then unpack.”. NOPE.

She said in earnest, “WE JUMP ON THE BEDS!” DD and I were slack jawed. Different outlooks, I suppose.