Cat owners: How long should I give?

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

We've got 3 cats. A year and a half ago was when we added the 3rd cat because my DD fell in love with it.

One cat tolerates the newer cat but our other cat hates the newer cat. Hates, hates it. As in won't be on the same floor of the house with it. We've tried everything and have just resigned ourselves to have 2 cats who won't be near each other without a fight.

Good luck.

 

[mom2rtk]

We've got 3 cats. A year and a half ago was when we added the 3rd cat because my DD fell in love with it.

One cat tolerates the newer cat but our other cat hates the newer cat. Hates, hates it. As in won't be on the same floor of the house with it. We've tried everything and have just resigned ourselves to have 2 cats who won't be near each other without a fight.

Good luck.

Our younger cat loves to stalk the geriatric one. At least once a day he gets her cornered. He's just having fun, and seems so confused that she won't come play! Time out (in the bathroom) usually settles him down, but it gets so old breaking up their fights.

 

[MomofKatie]

OP, I'm sorry you are having issues. Trying to get cats to be OK with each other is frustrating for everyone!

As for how much time before they can be comfortable together? That is a tough question. We have 3 cats, and the 2 that are similar ages were fine basically right away (a male and a female). We added an older female about 6 months after the first two got together, and, well- it has been 10 years, and we are hoping any day now, they will get along, lol.

The 2 girls HATE each other. Any time they are within a few feet, there is hissing and growling. Our big goofy boy likes both girls, and they are fine with him separately, but if they are all in the same vicinity, they won't be tolerant of him, either. It is not an ideal situation, but they are all part of the family, so nobody is going anywhere. We keep 3 litter boxes in different areas of the house, so everyone can have a spot to go when they need. We feed them all in the kitchen, but in different corners. They all have free rein to go wherever they want in the house, and they pretty much segregate themselves. Nobody ever cuddles up together, but nobody has ever injured anyone else, either, so it is a win for us.

As long as you realize that the cats probably won't ever be buddies, I think they will eventually learn to coexist. Right now, i know it seems awful and you think it won't ever be peaceful, but just let them work it out.

 

[Farro]

Oh kitties. They are tricky.

Our two guys were litter-mates (they assume, they were found together in a yard and are same age) and we adopted them together. Luckily they are the best of friends, extremely bonded.
But cats are weird. One of them had to stay at the vet for a few nights and when we brought him home, our other cat hissed and kept trying to start a fight! It was crazy, like he was a new cat or something. We ended up putting a touch of vanilla extract on them, calmed them down right away.

Anyways, a perfect excuse to post their picture!

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

And suddenly the new cat is starting to adjust although he's acting like he owns the place at times.
He still hides behind the toilet but then is randomly confident and leaves the room. Unfortunately he's still too scared to just come sit near anyone. Instead he hides somewhere outside of the bathroom like under a chair.

The new cat and my cat have had a couple more interactions since he's willing to find her the rare times she meows.
Today there was a growl and hiss from my cat and he stood down and she walked toward him a step and then ran away. I'm hoping that interaction meant something like "please be my friend" and a response of "I don't know about friends but just so you know this is MY house dude and don't follow me!"

Later I got the new cat to play with me and snapped a pic and noticed a few minutes later that my cat was sitting about 10 feet away under a chair looking at us in the pic lol.

Its looking better than a couple days ago because something is actually happening.
When I first posted this I was at a loss because I couldn't understand how they could possibly get used to each other if they were living completely separate lives and it felt like I was trying to live in two completely separate houses if that makes sense.
I couldn't see how putting his cat litter and food in the basement and shutting them both down there at night could possibly work if I could not even have them in the same large room on the first floor.
Now I'm starting to see that eventually it can be possible.

BTW last night I tried "swapping rooms" but my cat was so dang terrified to go into the bathroom even though he was not in there that she ran and hid from me the rest of the night.
I'm not putting either of them through something that seems to be traumatizing so I won't do that again!!!

Also I think I'm gonna slowly change the new cat's food to my cat's food.
I've got a giant bag of the new cat's food so I can do it very slowly.
As soon as I switched my cat back to her normal food she eats it up like usual and no puking.

I'm going to see what kind of progress is made by week 3 and hope that its positive without some major set back.

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

I see that things are looking up, but wanted to lend a word of encouragement. We have 3 cats, but just 2 of them are totally indoor cats. Our old tomcat (age 13-15) comes in to eat, sometimes takes a nap, then goes back outside. (I tried to make him an indoor cat, but he refuses to use an indoor litter box and howls incessantly at the door.) We just had one indoor cat, a female 8 years old, until last September. She was the queen and knew it. She and the tomcat tolerated each other when they shared the same space, but they didn't do things like groom each other or lay together. Last September, my neighbor found an abandoned kitten, so we took it in - supposedly temporarily, but we fell in love with her and kept her. At first, we kept the new kitten in our master bathroom with her own litter box and food. We introduced her to our "queen" through the closed bathroom door, we did feed them on opposite sides a couple of times. The queen usually just growled at the kitten. Gradually, we let the kitten out when we were at home and let her explore and come into contact with the queen, but kept her in the bathroom overnight and when we were at work. Eventually, we quit shutting her up in the bathroom.

Seven months later, there seems to be a truce. The tomcat still isn't happy about the kitten's presence. He growls at her, hisses, and generally runs back to the door to go out. The kitten and the queen are not best buddies, but live mostly in harmony. There's still occasional hissing by the queen. The kitten wants to play and jumps out at her and chases her all over the house. It's been good for the queen - she's lost a few ounces, which she probably needed to do. The kitten is a lap-kitty, whereas the queen never was, but now the queen regularly jumps up next to us to be petted and has even laid in my husband's lap a few times. (I've always considered the queen his cat; she seeks him out for attention more often than she does me.)

So, whereas we had a bit of a rough start, things have settled down. All three eat next to one another, and out of each other's bowls. Hopefully with a little time, yours will find a truce, too.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Oh kitties. They are tricky.

Our two guys were litter-mates (they assume, they were found together in a yard and are same age) and we adopted them together. Luckily they are the best of friends, extremely bonded.
But cats are weird. One of them had to stay at the vet for a few nights and when we brought him home, our other cat hissed and kept trying to start a fight! It was crazy, like he was a new cat or something. We ended up putting a touch of vanilla extract on them, calmed them down right away.

Anyways, a perfect excuse to post their picture!


View attachment 317141

I LOVE them!
(And your signature. Shel is one of my favorites!)

 

[LovesTimone]

Sometimes as a mom you just have to let them work it out...

I would go with 2 liter boxes, and just feed them together. They can sense that you are worried about the transition, just like kids know when something up. So relax... animals learn to co-exist so much easier than we humans do...

It will be fine...

 

[MomofKatie]

And suddenly the new cat is starting to adjust although he's acting like he owns the place at times.
He still hides behind the toilet but then is randomly confident and leaves the room. Unfortunately he's still too scared to just come sit near anyone. Instead he hides somewhere outside of the bathroom like under a chair.

The new cat and my cat have had a couple more interactions since he's willing to find her the rare times she meows.
Today there was a growl and hiss from my cat and he stood down and she walked toward him a step and then ran away. I'm hoping that interaction meant something like "please be my friend" and a response of "I don't know about friends but just so you know this is MY house dude and don't follow me!"

Later I got the new cat to play with me and snapped a pic and noticed a few minutes later that my cat was sitting about 10 feet away under a chair looking at us in the pic lol.

Its looking better than a couple days ago because something is actually happening.
When I first posted this I was at a loss because I couldn't understand how they could possibly get used to each other if they were living completely separate lives and it

Also I think I'm gonna slowly change the new cat's food to my cat's food.
I've got a giant bag of the new cat's food so I can do it very slowly.
As soon as I switched my cat back to her normal food she eats it up like usual and no puking.

I'm going to see what kind of progress is made by week 3 and hope that its positive without some major set back.

I would definitely go back to your resident cat's normal food. The shelter you adopted from was out of bounds to demand you change the food you give, IMO. Since they might not eat together, you could just have the 2 different foods in 2 different bowls in separate areas.

Glad to hear that they are starting to settle in.

 

[CrankyDad]

Why you stick to dogs. Cats are nuts

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Why you stick to dogs. Cats are nuts

Hahaa I am not anti dog but I would not want one as a pet.

 

[SharonZ]

Have you tried putting a baby gate up (somewhere other than the bathroom), the new cat would feel safe and give them time to see and sniff each other.

 

[sonnyjane]

Have you tried putting a baby gate up (somewhere other than the bathroom), the new cat would feel safe and give them time to see and sniff each other.

A baby gate sadly does nothing for an adult cat. They can jump right over it.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

I do have a giant play yard but yeah that's not gonna work. I can't even pick up the new cat.

If he was the only cat in the house I'd say its going pretty well but since I have a cat already and the new cat is starting to get comfortable its making my cat more uncomfortable.

Yesterday at one point she refused to come into my room because she knew he was under my bed hiding.
She literally sat at my door and looked at me for 20 minutes and wouldn't come in which is unfair for her because my room is one of her two safe areas.
The other is the basement where her litter is and this morning the new cat slipped down there. Luckily she was not down there and he looked like a deer in headlights and did come back up.
I do want him to get comfortable all around the house but I can see my cat is not comfortable with him so I'm trying to keep her areas hers but I can't shut doors so he doesn't go into these places and leave them open so she can go into them at the same time.

Its just a hard thing to juggle all day long.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Would people recommend I keep trying to juggle the doors being opened and closed or should I leave them open and let what happens happen?
Not sure what's better for my cat since currently she's either locked in the basement or locked out of the basement and if she doesn't come up when I open it and call her or go down and try to convince her to come up then she's down there more than she's up.

 

[jaybirdsmommy]

Would people recommend I keep trying to juggle the doors being opened and closed or should I leave them open and let what happens happen?
Not sure what's better for my cat since currently she's either locked in the basement or locked out of the basement and if she doesn't come up when I open it and call her or go down and try to convince her to come up then she's down there more than she's up.

Honestly, at this point I'd let what happens happen. They will learn to coexist. They will probably have a few skirmishes as they work things out. They may also be picking up on your stress, so try not to worry (I know, it's hard). It took us 2 months to feel comfortable with our second cat and our first. Same situation, new cat wanted to play, older cat wanted nothing to do with being anywhere near the new one. They probably would have been fine together much sooner, but we were stressed out more than they were. By the time the sixth cat came along, we kept her separate for a week then just opened the door and let them figure it out for themselves.

 

[sonnyjane]

Honestly, at this point I'd let what happens happen. They will learn to coexist. They will probably have a few skirmishes as they work things out. They may also be picking up on your stress, so try not to worry (I know, it's hard). It took us 2 months to feel comfortable with our second cat and our first. Same situation, new cat wanted to play, older cat wanted nothing to do with being anywhere near the new one. They probably would have been fine together much sooner, but we were stressed out more than they were. By the time the sixth cat came along, we kept her separate for a week then just opened the door and let them figure it out for themselves.

Same. Locking animals into rooms is so foreign to me. It's their house. You said you're home most of the day. If you need to be a ref and break up a fight, then so be it, but let them work this out.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Same. Locking animals into rooms is so foreign to me. It's their house. You said you're home most of the day. If you need to be a ref and break up a fight, then so be it, but let them work this out.

I don't anticipate fights. It's a safe zone for my cat to not be afraid that I'm concerned with.

 

[Lilsia]

We adopted 2 kittens that were not litter mates at the same time. They could not be more opposite. One has always been lovey with us and the other would maybe let us pet her if she felt like it and never would let us pick her up. Well it has been almost 2 years and she is finally comfortable enough with us that we can go up and pet her at any time and she will cuddle up to us. A few weeks ago we had a milestone of being able to pick her up for a short period of time. It has been getting easier. The 2 do fight occasionally mostly because our lovey cat wants to play but the other one will start it but gets mad if she does not have the upper hand. Sometimes it takes a while for animals to learn to trust and accept. Like I said, it has been almost 2 years for us.

 

[Lilsia]

Because my food is not grain free and they refused to give me the cat unless I agreed to not change over his food and switch hers.

Which I applaud them for. We feed our cats raw meat, as is their natural diet. When we got them from the shelter, their fur was not in good shape and very rough to the touch. After we started feeding them their natural diet, their fur came in very silky and soft and full. They also defecate less on their natural diet and it does not have that horrible cat poop smell. They have plenty of foods now without any grains and fillers in it.