Delta "Family Seating"

[ccgirl]

So, basically, you are saying that we DO owe people an explanation.

Does that mean that the person asking for the seat also has to explain why they need the seat? Do they need to explain why they didn't end up with seats together?

You say to "put yourself in other's shoes" - How about people putting themselves in the shoes of the person being asked to move (and, according to you) being rude if they don't provide a full explanation as to why they don't want to move? Wouldn't accepting a "no" make the world a much friendly place? Why is it up the person being asked to move to make the world a friendlier place?

You say "treat people the way you'd like to be treated" - wouldn't you like to be treated as if your choice not to move doesn't require an in-depth explanation?

For all that you SAY that "it goes both ways", all of your comments show that your attitude is the exact opposite.

Yup. I think if we all start living with equality on our mind instead of superiority and entitlement it will be better. Would I give up a seat if I could. Probably, and have. However, I did not for the mom and dad I heard talking before the AirTran flight. Their DD's were 10 and 12. Dad was yelling at mom for not paying for the seats like he told her to. Mom was yelling back saying she didn't want to pay the money that other people would have to move for them so their children can sit next to them. Nobody ended up moving their seats. The children were just fine. Another AirTran flight a man and a woman were sitting in the seats directly in front of me. Another man came by and said the man was in his seat. The guy said, "I know but it wasn't available when I booked the flight and I want to sit next to my wife so you need to find another seat." Luckily, the man was very nice; a single business traveller and the available seat ended up being quite a bit further near the front of the plane so he gladly took it. I just thought it was a rotten thing for the guy to just sit there when he knew it wasn't his seat.

 

[duffy]

How about this: the person wanting a different seat and the person being asked to move both explain to all passengers why each one wants the seat in question, complete with sob story.

Everyone votes. Winner gets the seat!!

 

[duffy]

Double post

 

[ccgirl]

How about this: the person wanting a different seat and the person being asked to move both explain to all passengers why each one wants the seat in question, complete with sob story.

Everyone votes. Winner gets the seat!!

Sounds good. Or they could each tell their story into the phone thing that the flight attendants talk into and the passengers take a vote.

 

[Mama Who]

Referencing the bolded above: Are you 'assuming' that I'm implying that or are you 'assuming' that others are? I'm simply responding to the attitudes of some folks here on this thread. If you haven't displayed that attitude, than you can be sure that I'm not talking about you.

That said, IMO, claiming that the rather short and sweet phrase "Sorry that doesn't work for me" is all that should suffice does indeed suggest a bit of an attitude, intended or not. Maybe there is in fact a way it can be delivered without attitude but I'm trying to do it myself and it's a stretch......even with a smile and a delicate shake of the head, it's hard to pull that off without sounding like you are trying to prove some sort of point. So again, while I agree wholeheartedly that an explanation is not 'owed', it certainly makes for a much friendlier exchange. And, knowing that, the comeback "I don't owe someone an explanation" is a rather strange response that also just happens to sting of attitude. We don't have to do a lot of things in life but often we make the choice to do them simply because we know it's the better choice and, in the end, makes the world a much friendlier place.


As I see it, it really is simply about being nice. Too many people here seem more interested in teaching someone a lesson. Or simply taking a stand. Bottom line is that nobody can force you to move so you already have the advantage. Treat people the way you'd like to be treated; put yourself in other's shoes......give attitude and expect to get it in return.


ETA: and yes I do know that it goes both ways. I never suggested it didn't

"certainly you don't 'owe' anyone an explanation but why not offer one up? Why cop the attitude? "

This is the line that made it sound like you were equating not offering an explanation with an attitude. Which you just reinforced with the bolded above. You claim to understand that people aren't owed an explanation but then you go right on to suggest that if we don't give what isn't owed we're somehow at fault. That it isn't friendly enough unless we tell strangers why we don't wish to comply with their request.

I can be perfectly nice without going to the extent of explaining my personal business to strangers who want a favor I don't wish to grant. If I want my seat because it's near the bathroom I don't think it is at all inappropriate for me to not want to share the details of that with someone. If I ate bad chinese food or am in my first trimester and have become Barfy Smurf I don't want to tell people that. It infringes on my comfort zone. That they are asking me for a favor does not in any way make me responsible for embarassing myself to make them more okay with my unwillingness to do the favor. That's beyond the acceptable limits of my social responsibility to them.

 

[Hannathy]

A simple I'm sorry but no, should be all anyone needs.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

But with 3 children, you can't sit next to all of them anyways - what do you do with the 3rd child? That child would be next to a stranger, etc, right?

Also, I thought the federal government passed some sort of passengers' bill of rights, and part of it was about overbooking, certain amount of changes, etc. It gave the passenger a lot more ownership of a seat than before.

One option is to sit the kids 3 together with mom across the aisle.

I have done this on a 2X2 flight with 2 kids together and me across the aisle.

I think there is a difference between a guaranteed spot for your rear end on the airplane and 29A being guaranteed. I think the Bill of Rights is just ensuring your rights if you get bumped from the flight...not moved to 27D.

ETA: Another option--which involved my kids sitting by themselves but not immediately next to a stranger...on our flight to Hawaii with 2 kids, 2 adults several years back, the seating was 2X3X2. We booked 2 rows of the 2 seaters...kids sat in front of us by themselves. They were 6 and 4 at the time.

 

[seashoreCM]

How about this: the person wanting a different seat and the person being asked to move both explain to all passengers why each one wants the seat in question, complete with sob story.

Everyone votes. Winner gets the seat!!

I don't like that idea. Too much room for profiling or playing favorites.

Perhaps the other passengers, instead of the voting, should take up a collection and bribe the person being asked to move.

Or, what would happen if the person aggrieved by the outcome of the balloting as suggested, decided to challenge one of the voters, forcing a new round of stories and voting?

I hate that game they play at Christmas parties where, if someone doesn't like the gift he picked from under the tree, he can force someone else to trade with him.

 

[pacrosby]

So, basically, you are saying that we DO owe people an explanation.

Does that mean that the person asking for the seat also has to explain why they need the seat? Do they need to explain why they didn't end up with seats together?

You say to "put yourself in other's shoes" - How about people putting themselves in the shoes of the person being asked to move (and, according to you) being rude if they don't provide a full explanation as to why they don't want to move? Wouldn't accepting a "no" make the world a much friendly place? Why is it up the person being asked to move to make the world a friendlier place?

You say "treat people the way you'd like to be treated" - wouldn't you like to be treated as if your choice not to move doesn't require an in-depth explanation?

For all that you SAY that "it goes both ways", all of your comments show that your attitude is the exact opposite.

Good grief, relax.

I believe my words were "no, no one owes anyone an explanation", so then, no, I don't believe an explanation is owed. But, yes, I do believe that some simple explanation might be nice. What it is of course depends on the situation. Certainly I'm not suggesting a 20 minute dissertation....but something beyond "sorry, it doesn't work for me" might be nice. Personally I envision it going something like this:

....."gee, I'd really like to help but I specifically chose this seat because it was an aisle seat. I find it claustrophobic to sit between folks. I hope someone else can help you"

....."gee, I'd really like to help but I've got rather long legs and I chose this seat because of the extra leg room. I hope someone else can help you."

....."gee, I'd really like to help but I'm sitting here with my own family and would rather not be separated. I hope someone else can help you."

Of course these examples are only appropriate if 1) the person really does wish they were in a better position to help and 2) genuinely hopes that someone else will be able to help. I personally can't imagine that anyone who felt that way would really have a problem with uttering a few extra 'nice' words. Of course, if 1 or 2 are not true, then I'd say that qualifies as the person with the aforementioned 'attitude' and it's really of no surprise that they'd wish to utter as few words as possible


And yes, of course I believe it would be nice if the person asking for the seat asks nicely and provides a simple sentence or two regarding their dilemma...why would you think otherwise?


All of my comments reveal nothing except that I take issue with the attitude some folks display regarding this issue. Did I ever say that someone was entitled to 'take' someone else's seat away? No. Did I ever say anyone had to give up their seat? No. Did I ever say that someone had a right to demand they take someone else's seat? No. Did I ever say that it was ok for someone to be nasty while asking someone to give up their seat? No. Did I ever say it was ok for someone to book a flight with the expectation that others would move for them? No.

Do you even know if I've ever asked someone to change seats for my family? Or if I've ever given up my seat for another family?


If you'd please stop reading into my words and simply read them as they are written, there wouldn't be need for all this back and forth.

 

[TinkPirateMom]

No one is ever guaranteed a specific seat in coach. Think of your seat assignments more as requests then guarantees and you won't feel disappointed. Keep track of seat assignments when there are changes to schedules and that can help. Oh and the airline agent may not know the real reason why your seats have been changed. I have been told that my travel agent never assigned seats for me. Uhh, I was the travel agent in question! So I know it was done. Anyways I have added to my travel package contracts that seats assignments are subject to change at any time by the discretion of the airline because clients have thought of them as set in stone in the past.

 

[duffy]

I don't want to explain why I want to keep my seat.

Believe it or not, in real life I am very shy and don't like talking to strangers very much.

 

[melancholywings]

And how can you possibly know if the person you are asking to switch has a disability or not?

The airline would then have to accommodate both people with disabilities. But while some posters have said they can't move because of a hidden disability, others have posted that they won't move because they feel entitled to that seat and accommodating the disabled 'isn't their problem'. And the disabled should have planned better - even if the airline is at fault.

The suggestion that a family with a disability should have planned better is insulting and ignorant. As a family with a disability that affects quality of life...you plan and plan and plan, even your plans have plans. Because if you don't your child can die, or end up in the ER. You have to be more prepared for the worst case scenario than a crazy person who thinks the world is going to end. Because your worst case scenario can easily be your reality if you are not proactively prepared. But despite how much you prepare, little hick ups happen - like the airline splits your seats. And as a parent you have to advocate for your child's safety which may require the airline to move passengers around. The fact that someone would see that as the fault of the disabled family is crazy. I hope they are just ignorant of what it's really like to live with a disability and not another bigot giving the GAC line the stink eye.

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

The airline would then have to accommodate both people with disabilities. But while some posters have said they can't move because of a hidden disability, others have posted that they won't move because they feel entitled to that seat and accommodating the disabled 'isn't their problem'. And the disabled should have planned better - even if the airline is at fault.

The suggestion that a family with a disability should have planned better is insulting and ignorant. As a family with a disability that affects quality of life...you plan and plan and plan, even your plans have plans. Because if you don't your child can die, or end up in the ER. You have to be more prepared for the worst case scenario than a crazy person who thinks the world is going to end. Because your worst case scenario can easily be your reality if you are not proactively prepared. But despite how much you prepare, little hick ups happen - like the airline splits your seats. And as a parent you have to advocate for your child's safety which may require the airline to move passengers around. The fact that someone would see that as the fault of the disabled family is crazy. I hope they are just ignorant of what it's really like to live with a disability and not another bigot giving the GAC line the stink eye.

You are asking the airline to move passengers around before you board the plan(based on your post) the main gist of this thread is passengers asking other passengers to move, because for whatever reason the airline personel can't or won't move people to accomodate them. Advocating for your needs with the airline is the way to go, boarding a plane and expecting people to move for you if the gate agents can't/won't help you is not always going to get you the seats you need.

 

[BlueChariot]

Just a thought that would make it unnecessary to ask someone personally to move (thus avoiding the uncomfortable situation): the family that needs seats together arrive at the airport early before other passengers have checked in. That way, the airline can do re-arranging (if needed and appropriate) and seats are changed for other passengers prior to them checking in.

Now this doesn't solve the problem if the seat re-arrangement breaks up another family, or moves someone who is in a seat for disability reasons, but let the airline handle that... it is their job.

Next month we will be flying Delta with our 16 month old DD. I plan to continue checking our seat assignments up until our departure, and further, arrive at the airport early to help prevent any unpleasant surprises. However, if it were the case that DD and I had to sit separately from DH, I wouldn't like it, but would probably deal with it. That said, I would never allow my 1-year old to sit with strangers by herself (regardless if her seat were in front, back, or across the aisle from us). In that case, I'm confident that at least someone on the plane would be willing to move (even if not every passenger would agree to move). I have faith in the kindness of people.

 

[ccgirl]

Just a thought that would make it unnecessary to ask someone personally to move (thus avoiding the uncomfortable situation): the family that needs seats together arrive at the airport early before other passengers have checked in. That way, the airline can do re-arranging (if needed and appropriate) and seats are changed for other passengers prior to them checking in.

Now this doesn't solve the problem if the seat re-arrangement breaks up another family, or moves someone who is in a seat for disability reasons, but let the airline handle that... it is their job.

Next month we will be flying Delta with our 16 month old DD. I plan to continue checking our seat assignments up until our departure, and further, arrive at the airport early to help prevent any unpleasant surprises. However, if it were the case that DD and I had to sit separately from DH, I wouldn't like it, but would probably deal with it. That said, I would never allow my 1-year old to sit with strangers by herself (regardless if her seat were in front, back, or across the aisle from us). In that case, I'm confident that at least someone on the plane would be willing to move (even if not every passenger would agree to move). I have faith in the kindness of people.

Does your DD have a car seat? If so, I believe it is FAA regulation that a parent/guardian must sit next to (or within arms length) of said baby.

 

[LaurenLC]

Just a thought that would make it unnecessary to ask someone personally to move (thus avoiding the uncomfortable situation): the family that needs seats together arrive at the airport early before other passengers have checked in. That way, the airline can do re-arranging (if needed and appropriate) and seats are changed for other passengers prior to them checking in.

Now this doesn't solve the problem if the seat re-arrangement breaks up another family, or moves someone who is in a seat for disability reasons, but let the airline handle that... it is their job.

Next month we will be flying Delta with our 16 month old DD. I plan to continue checking our seat assignments up until our departure, and further, arrive at the airport early to help prevent any unpleasant surprises. However, if it were the case that DD and I had to sit separately from DH, I wouldn't like it, but would probably deal with it. That said, I would never allow my 1-year old to sit with strangers by herself (regardless if her seat were in front, back, or across the aisle from us). In that case, I'm confident that at least someone on the plane would be willing to move (even if not every passenger would agree to move). I have faith in the kindness of people.

I could be wrong, and I'm sure I'll be corrected if I am, but I'm pretty sure children that young wouldn't be seperated regardless.

 

[summerbreak]

I have a petition to support children being seated next to their parents on airplanes listed on causes.com. You can find it under Families Flying Together. Please take a minute to sign.

Thanks-

 

[maxiesmom]

I have a petition to support children being seated next to their parents on airplanes listed on causes.com. You can find it under Families Flying Together. Please take a minute to sign.

Thanks-

Sorry, but I won't sign. Most 12 year olds ride a school bus every day without their parents anywhere in sight. They are certainly able to handle sitting on the same airliner with their parents a few rows away from them.

 

[Sparkly]

I am so glad the airline we fly with allows us to pick our seats well in advance!

I certainly wasn't able to sit on my own with strangers as a child as I got anxiety, even now.

 

[Candikayne]

All I can say is wow....reading this thread has opened my eyes about posting. I thought the stroller and refillable mugs were a hot button topic. Boy was I wrong.