HELP!!! MIL wants to take my DC's to WDW alone!!!!

[MomNeedsVacay]

I've been following your thread for a while. I had a MIL strikingly similar to yours, maybe related even! Now she's my XMIL,
Mine did the same things, got me all toked up on something then when I'm finally ready to stand my ground she's like 'What are we talking about again?'
I see alot of 'But wouldn't your daughter have fun regardless and shouldn't you make it about her?' comments. Way I see it Gramma ain't making it about her, and if you take her then you can sure its a trip about her and not about Grammas wishes

She would try and get in on the kids 'fun things' too, like she'd take them to see Santa and the Easter bunny asap and I wouldn't know about it till I saw the picture hanging on their fridge(and she'd be on santas lap right next to them!!!) . And I found out on his second halloween (he was only 3 weeks old his first one so that didn't really count) when I had him out his first time trick or treating she had been trying to hunt us down and thankfully never found us. I made clear right away, Halloween is *my* hoiday, you may poach santa sittings, but you ain't messing with my trick or treating

She used to taunt me about 'never having a girl' too. She had 3 sons so she told me thats all I'd have too (I had hoped for a girl the first time) Then 6 months after my divorce my X had another kid (quick work wasn't it?) and it was a girl and she was all over that. Seems she treated me that way cause she had wanted girls herself and wanted to live vicariously thru her grandkids. I found out about her new granddaughter a few days after she was born(my X told no one until after she was born, allegedly it was a 'one night stand') and immediately told my mother who works where I do(and my XMIL at the time too) Told her I wanted to tell her before she found out at work and she said' 'Oh XMIL has more tact than that doesn't she?' I said 'No you just wait..' Sure enough the next time she worked she was showing off pictures to my stunned coworkers (my divorce was rather slippery and fresh with them)and gushing about being able to buy pink now. My coworkers had no idea what to say to me or my mom. Thankfully soon after she 'sick-called' her way out of a job so I don't have to see or hear about her there anymore.

Yikes...at least shes your ex-MIL now!!!

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

One thing I haven't seen suggested is that if she wants to pay for a big extended family thing, suggest instead that they "host" certain activities for the group, rather than the hotel/airfare, etc. For example, she could take the kids to a Princess breakfast, and have her alone time with them then. And she could host a fireworks cruise, or Hoop-de-Doo for everybody, thus creating "everybody time" that isn't so personally oppressive.

Other than that, I'd make it clear that the individual families will all have scheduled time with Grandma, and scheduled time with their nuclear families.

We did a trip (My mom and I) with my sister and her husband and children, and it worked out fine. We'd arrive at a park together, do a handful of rides, then split up for the rest of the day. One night we took the kids so we could enjoy them and take them to Hoop De Doo, then back to our resort for the night so we had them from late afternoon through the evening, overnight, then the next morning, where we met DS and DBIL after lunch, having given them an evening and morning alone to do as they pleased.

We also did the first half of the Halloween party together, then split up. We shared a bit of the magic, but they were able to have their OWN vacation, as were we.

I love these suggestions...
I also like the other poster who said something about going on Mother's Day.... great idea!!!

 

[Trentmom]

Hey Momneedsavacay!!!

How ya doing?

I was going thru my threads and thought I give this one a bump and see if anything new is going on with this!!

So, anything new??

 

[bless7ings]

Ya, I was wondering what has been going on? Have you been talking to your mother in law or has everything been swept under the table like your mother in law wanted?

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I just got back from the OBX in NC.... What a vacation! Except is was a million degrees....

She is staying very flexible and quite open to suggestions.
MIL just talked tonight actually. She has expressed a strong interest in staying at the GRand Floridian. I have never stayed there, but it always looks beautiful. She said that she read that they have two bedroom suites, which is what she would get for my DH and I and our 2 DD's.... (remember that they are paying, but she wants my input). She and my FIL would stay in their own private suite.
I say, " WEll the Grand Floridian certainly looks beautiful, but my understanding is that it is the priceiest of the resorts in DW.... I'm also concerned that there may not be enough "theming" for the kids."
By this statement, I simply was thinking that staying at the Poly might be more fun for the kids. I've actually never stayed at either, I'm sure either would be fantastic.... She thinks that going in August would be the best time, but I desperately want to go in the Spring--so thats are only true dilemma right now.....She wants me to go ahead and price rooms at the GF and we'll think about the other hotels after getting a price quote.
She did ask me if she could have a special morning with her grandaughters at one of the parks...so I said, "As long as its not the first day, I think it would be nice for the girls to have one on one time with you and FIL".

I've gotta go price the GF...then figure out how to convince her that August would be too hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[bless7ings]

Sounds good to me! She sounds like she is trying!! I would go the Floridian!! I love the theming!!! The pool looks nice at the Poly, but I personally don't care for the theming there. So I would jump at the Floridian. It sounds like they have some nice childrens programs at the Floridian. They have a cooking program there for the children. Have fun researching!!

 

[Trentmom]

I just got back from the OBX in NC.... What a vacation! Except is was a million degrees....

She is staying very flexible and quite open to suggestions.
MIL just talked tonight actually. She has expressed a strong interest in staying at the GRand Floridian. I have never stayed there, but it always looks beautiful. She said that she read that they have two bedroom suites, which is what she would get for my DH and I and our 2 DD's.... (remember that they are paying, but she wants my input). She and my FIL would stay in their own private suite.
I say, " WEll the Grand Floridian certainly looks beautiful, but my understanding is that it is the priceiest of the resorts in DW.... I'm also concerned that there may not be enough "theming" for the kids."
By this statement, I simply was thinking that staying at the Poly might be more fun for the kids. I've actually never stayed at either, I'm sure either would be fantastic.... She thinks that going in August would be the best time, but I desperately want to go in the Spring--so thats are only true dilemma right now.....She wants me to go ahead and price rooms at the GF and we'll think about the other hotels after getting a price quote.
She did ask me if she could have a special morning with her grandaughters at one of the parks...so I said, "As long as its not the first day, I think it would be nice for the girls to have one on one time with you and FIL".

I've gotta go price the GF...then figure out how to convince her that August would be too hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAH....Things are moving along, slowly, but moving along.

Grand Floridian looks beautifull...I would jumpt at that one.

August is way too hot in my opinion.. However, if they do the free dining again, then that would be a plus.

Did you ask her why she wants to go August? Once you learn the reason, maybe you can come up with another month that she would like for the same reason

Thanks for keeping us posted

BTW...I have seen OBX in the past week...people going there..what is it??

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

YEAH....Things are moving along, slowly, but moving along.

Grand Floridian looks beautifull...I would jumpt at that one.

August is way too hot in my opinion.. However, if they do the free dining again, then that would be a plus.

Did you ask her why she wants to go August? Once you learn the reason, maybe you can come up with another month that she would like for the same reason

Thanks for keeping us posted

BTW...I have seen OBX in the past week...people going there..what is it??

Well.... she is inviting my DH's cousin(14), my SIL, my parents, etc....I think that she thinks August will best fit everyone's schedules...

The OBX means the Outerbanks of North CArolina. Its really a strip of land off of the Eastern coast of NC. There are a bunch of beautiful vacation homes for 100 miles or more...
Now my Mom is angry and refusing to go in August... My Mom also thinks the Grand Floridian is too snooty and is refusing to stay there. ARGH.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Well.... she is inviting my DH's cousin(14), my SIL, my parents, etc....I think that she thinks August will best fit everyone's schedules...

The OBX means the Outerbanks of North CArolina. Its really a strip of land off of the Eastern coast of NC. There are a bunch of beautiful vacation homes for 100 miles or more...
Now my Mom is angry and refusing to go in August... My Mom also thinks the Grand Floridian is too snooty and is refusing to stay there. ARGH.

What is she angry about? It actually sounds like MIL is trying to make it easy for everyone. Personally I would love to give the GF a try! Good luck!

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

What is she angry about? It actually sounds like MIL is trying to make it easy for everyone. Personally I would love to give the GF a try! Good luck!

I know....what is it with these women???

 

[mumom95]

Sounds like your MIL is really trying.

Did want to put in my input. I was in WDW 11 years ago this week (I was on my honeymoon). It was HOT!!! And I mean really HOT!! Unbearably HOT!!! Luckily, as honeymooners, we didn't really want to leave the room much But when we did it was really HOT!!!

We are going for our first time since then, this November. Will never go again in August. But then again, I'm not a heat person.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

Sounds like your MIL is really trying.

Did want to put in my input. I was in WDW 11 years ago this week (I was on my honeymoon). It was HOT!!! And I mean really HOT!! Unbearably HOT!!! Luckily, as honeymooners, we didn't really want to leave the room much But when we did it was really HOT!!!

We are going for our first time since then, this November. Will never go again in August. But then again, I'm not a heat person.

I know I know!!! I really don't want to go in August
I'm now thinking May....

 

[Trentmom]

I know I know!!! I really don't want to go in August
I'm now thinking May....

May is a beautiful time to go.

Go on here and find pics of FLower and Garden Festival. We went the second week in May last year and this year.

Crowds are great. The weather is great. The Flowers are gorgeous.

Maybe if you tell your mil about the flower and garden festival and show pics, she might change her mind

Good Luck

 

[kaysmommie]

August is way too hot! You would definately want to be at GF then so you can hop on the monorail and go to the pool. Little kids don't always tolerate heat well. I would think May would be great!

 

[Missin'Disney]

Gosh, August is so brutal and the rain is pretty bad too...last august- we tried this for the free dining-the week we were there it rained for hours every day- not just a passing shower- the free dining also draws major crowds (designed to beef up a slow time of year) so you can explain that to MIL they've been doing free dining in August for the last few years & it could be very crowded...the GF has several great programs for little ones...the "My perfectly princess tea party" would be something fun for your mil to take them to...it is quite expensive & something they probably wouldn't get to do without her to shell out the big bucks for...my daughters went to the wonderland tea party there last summer (but they have to be atleast 4 for that one) and had the best time...my 5 yr. old loved the GF so much & declared it her "favorite hotel" ever & is begging us to stay there! So you never know what might appeal to your dd's! good luck & happy planning!

 

[flipflop]

I would pick my battles and say no to August and yes to GF (although, I agree with your preference of staying at the Poly). We went last August and it was HOT HOT HOT. That was fine b/c all six of us were adults (we all left our toddlers home) - but if I had to drag my kids around in that heat it would have been awful. May is much nicer and less crowded.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

When this thing first started, my MIL (who is organizing the trip, but only paying for immediately family) said that I should invite my parents. Naturally, my sister, DBil, and niece wanted to do Disney with us, too. We haven't made reservations yet b/c nobody can agree on a date/time/month in 2008. MIL calls DH at work and states that she thinks just the immediate family should go. Now she wants me to uninvite my parents and sister, Bil, and niece. She says that now its getting too complicated, we can't agree on a place to stay or when we are going, so we should just go with Mil and Fil.

Since, MIL is paying for us, I can see her point, but I don't know how to "uninvite" my parents and sister etc.... I don't anyone's feelings to be hurt, but I have a feeling this will turn into something big. What do I do?

 

[LadyShea]

If your parents and sis/bil/niece are paying their own way I see no reason to uninvite them, or force them to stay where you are if they think it's snooty or whatever.

I would choose a week, choose a resort and tell everyone that's when and where you're going and whoever wants to be there is welcome and if not then too bad.

 

[Trentmom]

When this thing first started, my MIL (who is organizing the trip, but only paying for immediately family) said that I should invite my parents. Naturally, my sister, DBil, and niece wanted to do Disney with us, too. We haven't made reservations yet b/c nobody can agree on a date/time/month in 2008. MIL calls DH at work and states that she thinks just the immediate family should go. Now she wants me to uninvite my parents and sister, Bil, and niece. She says that now its getting too complicated, we can't agree on a place to stay or when we are going, so we should just go with Mil and Fil.

Since, MIL is paying for us, I can see her point, but I don't know how to "uninvite" my parents and sister etc.... I don't anyone's feelings to be hurt, but I have a feeling this will turn into something big. What do I do?

Oh man.....This might get ugly.

Why not just tell your paretns and sister and family what your mil said.

I am sure they know what your mil is like, right??

Then, tell them...as soon as mil books the trip....hopefully by begining of next year, tell your mother and father dates and your sister and family the dates.

Then, they can book their trip separately.

Maybe instead of being the same exact week, it just overlap by a few days so your parents to get experience Disney with your daugther.

Your mil can't say anything about them being there, too, as she doesn't own Disney World


Let us know what you decided to do..

here is some pixie dust for you:

 

[larklynn]

We have gone to wdw with bil and sil and their families where we all stay together and try to do everything together your right way to complicated

Last time we went we didn't all stay at the same place and we picked maybe one meal a day to do together. Sometimes it is nice to do things together but if you stress about it to much it ruins it. My husband finally said well this our family vacation too so we will do what we feel like and if you guys want to be there great more fun if not catch ya later.