HELP!!! MIL wants to take my DC's to WDW alone!!!!

[ogreenlee]

We (DH, DD4 and me) just got back from spending a week in Myrtle Beach with my MIL, FIL, BIL, BIL's DD10. It went better than expected.

However, my MIL mentioned that she wanted to take both granddaughters to Disney in a couple of years. Granted, my DD is about to go on her 2nd trip, and it will not be her first time.

I'm still hesitant about letting my MIL take my DD. She took my niece for her first time last year, but her parents pretty much keep her there all the time anyway. My DD doesn't see her grandparents that much.

I don't even understand why they want to take the other GD. She's almost 5ft tall at 10 years old, and is scared of toddler rides. While at Disney last year, they pretty much just got frustrated because they had to coax her on everything including IASW. She got mad because of the slight drop she experienced on Maelstrom. While at the beach, my DD4 rode several things by herself because my niece was too scared to go with her.. like on the toddler airplane ride (similar to Dumbo but at a smaller scale). It's the weirdest thing to me.

Anyway... I just don't want my DD going without her parents.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

Oh man.....This might get ugly.

Why not just tell your paretns and sister and family what your mil said.

I am sure they know what your mil is like, right??

Then, tell them...as soon as mil books the trip....hopefully by begining of next year, tell your mother and father dates and your sister and family the dates.

Then, they can book their trip separately.

Maybe instead of being the same exact week, it just overlap by a few days so your parents to get experience Disney with your daugther.

Your mil can't say anything about them being there, too, as she doesn't own Disney World


Let us know what you decided to do..

here is some pixie dust for you:

okay..I think I'm going to try to convince my parents to go to WDW with us at another time. When we go with my parents, we can stay at the CBR (my Dad's favorite) and go during a cool weather month, and maybe make it a long weekend type trip.

I still think my parents are going to flip out over missing their granchildren's first Disney experience......
I hate this...I need to concoct some scheme, some reason why they may not want to go. My sister will be mad

On a side note: my FIL was on the phone with me and said that he would be more than happy to stay at home with my younger DD (almost 2), so that my older DD "can have a more special time with her grandma"....
I said, "Well, the girls really enjoy being together. They would ride rides together. My older DD would miss the younger one"
He goes, "okay, well I was just throwing it out there."

This needs to be a FAMILY vacation. I'm not going to let them take the kids one at a time. THey would love to be there TOGETHER!
BTW- MIL is pretty set on August..this sucks....

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Sorry but I would tell DH to tell MIL that you are not uninviting anyone. That is just plain rude and you want your parents there as well. It doesn't matter that she is paying for you. She is being very rude. I would not cater to that kind of nonsense. If she is doing this now you can imagine how your trip will go! Good luck!

 

[hoosiergirl7]

I would tell her what you just said here - that you would love for her to take them,but that you want to go too. Tell her you don't want to miss the magical moments that they will experience the first time. Of course, I have a MIL too, so I know that's easier said than done. But, stand your ground! You are the mommie, and you shouldn't have to miss out on this! Good luck!

ETA - Also, if you don't want to wait then say so! Maybe - "I would love for you to go to WDW for the girls' first trip, but we've decided that we are ready to take them now. Is this date or this date better for you?"

Your response sounds so much like something Dr. Laura would say! But I would say the same thing. There's no way I would miss out on my kids experiencing Disney for the first time no matter how much of a family tradition MIL said it is.

 

[Trentmom]

okay..I think I'm going to try to convince my parents to go to WDW with us at another time. When we go with my parents, we can stay at the CBR (my Dad's favorite) and go during a cool weather month, and maybe make it a long weekend type trip.

I still think my parents are going to flip out over missing their granchildren's first Disney experience......
I hate this...I need to concoct some scheme, some reason why they may not want to go. My sister will be mad

On a side note: my FIL was on the phone with me and said that he would be more than happy to stay at home with my younger DD (almost 2), so that my older DD "can have a more special time with her grandma"....
I said, "Well, the girls really enjoy being together. They would ride rides together. My older DD would miss the younger one"
He goes, "okay, well I was just throwing it out there."

This needs to be a FAMILY vacation. I'm not going to let them take the kids one at a time. THey would love to be there TOGETHER!
BTW- MIL is pretty set on August..this sucks....

Don't uninvite them. They shouldn';t have to miss their grandaugthers first trip to Disney World. I know I would be heartbroken. THey are paying for themselves right?? Then, your mil has no right to tell them they can;t go.

Just plan different activities with each set of grandparents for the daughters..

You don't have to spend the whole time with everyone together...try and divde time equally.

Good Luck

 

[Chrissie-riel]

I would really try to get her to agree to another date; I agree with the previous poster that said "yes" to GF and "no" to August. (What is her reasoning anyway for August??) It is way too hot and crowded in August - not nearly as much fun as May when you are dealing with toddlers.

You should definitely not uninvite your family at this point. I would just tell the MIL that the May date works better for your (immediate) family and then tell your DM that you will be staying at the GF but they are welcome to stay at any other resort and meet up with you at X place at X time.

Hang in there!

 

[mumom95]

Here I was a couple of days ago thinking your MIL is trying to be nice and have you invite the rest of the family, and then WHAM, she does something much worse than not inviting them, she invites then uninvites (or worse yet, wants you to uninvite) them. Boy, your MIL sure knows how to make something complicated. Planning the Disney trip is half the fun, and she sure has taken all the fun out of it.

If you are going to uninvite your family, I wouldn't make up some scheme, I would just be honest (anything but honesty has a way of backfiring in the end). Just tell them what happened, she said they should go, now she is saying they shouldn't. If they still want to go, there is no way she can (or should) stop them from making their own ressies.

I certainly hope once you guys all get there she is able to sit back and not try to control everything. She needs to remember this trip should be about the kids, not about her (which is another argument for going when it is cooler. The kids are going to get tired out easier, and probably crankier earlier due to the heat)

 

[ameraumi]

Oh boy, what a mess! I can relate (in a way) because I am having my own IL issues. We asked my MIL & FIL to go to WDW with us next year. We have our dates set, just waiting to hear back on the quote. MIL mentioned to SIL that they were going with us, so SIL states how they should go too and have a big family vacation. Ugh! I do not mind, but it sounds like they are not too keen on our plans so far. So what we are telling them is we are going June 5-14, staying at WL and you are more then welcomed to make plans that fits your needs during that time and we will just meet up with you at some point each day.

I would suggest you do the same with your family. Tell MIL yes to GF, no to Aug (and use her dear granddaughters as an excuse...the poor girls will not be able to handle the heat/humidity/rain of Aug). Once you get your dates set, tell your family the dates and let them book their vacation. Then make plans to meet up with each family different times during the day. If MIL bulks at this, then I would just make plans to go on your own.

 

[flipflop]

Sorry but I would tell DH to tell MIL that you are not uninviting anyone. That is just plain rude and you want your parents there as well. It doesn't matter that she is paying for you. She is being very rude. I would not cater to that kind of nonsense. If she is doing this now you can imagine how your trip will go! Good luck!

ITA

I can't imagine "uninviting" my parents or siblings from a trip that I had already invited them on b/c of my MIL. MIL is being rude and selfish. MIL cannot have everything she wants all the time.

I'm standing strong on my earlier post - pick your battles - "yes" to GF and "no" to august. Your MIL gets her resort choice. Your DM gets a date that she prefers. You were content with GF and wanted a different date. It's a win-win all around.

 

[Happyflower]

Wow, I would never let my MIL take my kids alone to DW. They wouldn't even want to go especially if it was overnight. They would have been to attached to mom at that age.

Plus, I just don't get it, they HAD there chance to be a mother, now it YOUR turn, and I say do what YOU want!

My MIL had a family tradition that everyone had to do what she wanted, well when I married my DH, that tradition stoped! lol

 

[LadyShea]

My MIL had a family tradition that everyone had to do what she wanted, well when I married my DH, that tradition stoped! lol

Yep, same here. 16 years now and she is still trying to re exert her iron will on everything. She thinks I brainwashed DH LOL

 

[bless7ings]

Oh boy, what a mess! I can relate (in a way) because I am having my own IL issues. We asked my MIL & FIL to go to WDW with us next year. We have our dates set, just waiting to hear back on the quote. MIL mentioned to SIL that they were going with us, so SIL states how they should go too and have a big family vacation. Ugh! I do not mind, but it sounds like they are not too keen on our plans so far. So what we are telling them is we are going June 5-14, staying at WL and you are more then welcomed to make plans that fits your needs during that time and we will just meet up with you at some point each day.

I would suggest you do the same with your family. Tell MIL yes to GF, no to Aug (and use her dear granddaughters as an excuse...the poor girls will not be able to handle the heat/humidity/rain of Aug). Once you get your dates set, tell your family the dates and let them book their vacation. Then make plans to meet up with each family different times during the day. If MIL bulks at this, then I would just make plans to go on your own.

Well, I didn't realize when we reopened this thread that everyone would have so much to say! I guess it hits a nerve with people! I just hope that it is not becoming a problem between you and your husband. Remember you have to do what is best for your family, including what your husband thinks. I don't want to put any ideas in your head that he would disagree with! Having said that I agree with the poster above. Which many have said about the same thing. Good luck.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

She tentatively scheduled us at the GF from August 3-8, 2008... She is angry that the ressie guy wouldn't "cut her a break" because she ordered 5 day park hopper passes for 9 people and she reserved one two BR suite at the GF PLUS an extra 2 queen bed room. We don't know who to call for "deals"...codes seem so random.


I'm scared to tell my parents about the tenative plan...yikes!

 

[mumom95]

She is staying very flexible and quite open to suggestions.

OK, I just have to say this, because I think us daughter-in-laws of over bearing mother-in-laws have to stick together. I know you are giving her the benefit of the doubt, and trying to see her in a good light with all of this. But I just want to point out what has gone on over the past week (at least on this thread):


Choice of resort:

MIL wants GF
Momneedsvac wants Poly

reservation made for GF - MIL 1 Momneedsvac 0

MIL wants August
Momneedsvac wants May

reservation made for May - MIL 2 Momneedsvac 0

MIL wants to uninvite family
Momneedsvac doesn't want to uninvite family

sounds like family is going to get uninvited - MIL 3 Momneedsvac 0


So, over the past week, with the decisions that have needed to be made, MIL has gotten everything she has wanted, and you have gotten nothing.

I don't mean to be a downer, but are you sure her paying for it is going to be worth what it may make the trip like. I don't know her, so I can't really judge, but are you sure once you guys get to Disney she will realize this trip should mainly be about the kids, and not about her? Because it sure seems like so far everything is about what she wants and not what anyone else wants.

Anyway, sorry, I don't mean to put a damper on your trip. I just can't stand it when MIL's (or mothers for that matter) just assume they are still in full control of their adult children's lives. My MIL does this (I don't think to the extend of yours though) and it drives me crazy.

I'll stop venting now, sorry to take it all out on you

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Disney doesn't cut deals like that - but you'll love the GF. And you still have time to find discount codes. Would she not budge on the May dates at all?

Please don't uninvite your family. At least let them make their own choice to go or not.

Oh, I can feel the emotional cost of this trip already! I have sworn no more trips with my MIL but so far it's not even been a year. I'm trying to be strong!

 

[Trentmom]

She tentatively scheduled us at the GF from August 3-8, 2008... She is angry that the ressie guy wouldn't "cut her a break" because she ordered 5 day park hopper passes for 9 people and she reserved one two BR suite at the GF PLUS an extra 2 queen bed room. We don't know who to call for "deals"...codes seem so random.


I'm scared to tell my parents about the tenative plan...yikes!

Definitely don't uninvite your family, that is not right....

Codes are random....it is way too early for there to be any deals or codes for next august.

Just keep your eyes open

 

[dcforbreakfast]

I really feel for you...I don't like where any of this is heading. My ex-MIL, who is a very nice lady who thank God lives far away, could be totally overbearing if given the opportunity. She worships her grandchild. Which is great, I'm happy about that, but a while ago she was dead set on taking him to Disney, sans me of course. I was crushed at the idea of her seeing him see Disney for the first time and me not being able to witness it. She hasn't mentioned it in a year or so though.

Lo and behold this year, my husband says we can go to Disney and I was so excited! To avoid any "situations" we're keeping it secret from the kid and ex-in laws... I am just telling them my husband surprised us with the trip last minute....lets me off the hook.

I don't know if it's worth it to have her pay for it if she's going to railroad you...or you just have to resign yourself that it is "her" trip and you guys are just going along. No expectations to pick out anything and then you just go with the flow and have to smile.

Only a MIL could make a Disney trip stressful.

Love and kisses to all the nice MILs out there by the way.

 

[tlbwriter]

So, over the past week, with the decisions that have needed to be made, MIL has gotten everything she has wanted, and you have gotten nothing.

I agree. And I can't believe you would even consider uninviting your family just to suit MIL's need to have this vacation all for herself. It's rude and thoughtless, and I would be crushed if I were uninvited from my daughter's or sister's vacation simply because her MIL decided I wasn't part of her plan!!! Please, please please do not do that. Tell MIL that you're not happy that every single one of your decisions is being shot down, and that you're no longer interested in the trip. And then plan your own trip, on your own schedule, and pay your own way. When you let people pay for things, you give them permission to run your life. Don't do that.

 

[ChevyNat]

I have to agree... I had a controlling MIL... but never gave in... anyway getting a divorce because of medling in-laws... so, at least got rid of them for good and I'm planning wonderful trips with my kids... and don't have to hear their comments on the matter.... I'M FREE ha! But don't let you MIL control your life!!

 

[flipflop]

So, over the past week, with the decisions that have needed to be made, MIL has gotten everything she has wanted, and you have gotten nothing.

I agree. And I can't believe you would even consider uninviting your family just to suit MIL's need to have this vacation all for herself. It's rude and thoughtless, and I would be crushed if I were uninvited from my daughter's or sister's vacation simply because her MIL decided I wasn't part of her plan!!! Please, please please do not do that. Tell MIL that you're not happy that every single one of your decisions is being shot down, and that you're no longer interested in the trip. And then plan your own trip, on your own schedule, and pay your own way. When you let people pay for things, you give them permission to run your life. Don't do that.

I agree too.