Is it okay to put family first? (Response to royal family stuff)

[TipsyTraveler]

"Gifts" of a residence from the Queen means you may live there. If circumstances change, or she changes her mind, your residence may change. Her decision, end of story.

On the other hand, it's very different in the US. if your Grammy gifts you (legally) her 80's era condo in Boca, it's yours!

Right, but everyone wants to discuss the “ethics” of them continuing to live there in light of the renovations, involvement of taxpayer funds, their full time vs. part time royal status, etc., so I was doing the same. I can certainly provide a counterpoint to your angle as well, though: They get to live there ‘cuz Granny said so. Her decision, end of story.

 

[gwynne]

Right, but everyone wants to discuss the “ethics” of them continuing to live there in light of the renovations, involvement of taxpayer funds, their full time vs. part time royal status, etc., so I was doing the same. I can certainly provide a counterpoint to your angle as well, though: They get to live there ‘cuz Granny said so. Her decision, end of story.

Gosh, lots of news about basically shuttering the Cottage. Nearly every member of staff was redeployed and this was done in days. It didn't happen without the Queen's express OK.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Gosh, lots of news about basically shuttering the Cottage. Nearly every member of staff was redeployed and this was done in days. It didn't happen without the Queen's express OK.

My point was that all the Frogmore debate about whether they “should” continue to live there could be distilled down to “it’s the Queen’s decision,” not that I would have any idea what decision she’s made. I wouldn’t read too much into the relocating of employees, though. What sense would it make for an empty house to remain fully staffed when it could potentially be months before the occupants return?

 

[mummabear]

Philip was given the title of Prince in 1957 and retired from royal duties in 2017 = 50 years.

Harry has held the title of Prince for 35 years.

Harry should get 70% of whatever Philip’s retirement package was. Problem solved.

Philip was a working royal before he was granted the title of Prince.
Harry hasnt worked as a royal for 35 years.
As George now, while being a Prince is not a working royal.

 

[gwynne]

My point was that all the Frogmore debate about whether they “should” continue to live there could be distilled down to “it’s the Queen’s decision,” not that I would have any idea what decision she’s made. I wouldn’t read too much into the relocating of employees, though. What sense would it make for an empty house to remain fully staffed when it could potentially be months before the occupants return?

Even a renovated period property needs regular attention if it's going to be ready for residents. There is a middle place between staff of two or so and full staff. The middle ground was not chosen.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Philip was a working royal before he was granted the title of Prince.
Harry hasnt worked as a royal for 35 years.
As George now, while being a Prince is not a working royal.

That’s an interesting question, when are they considered “working?” Harry was deployed on his first official overseas visit (Italy) when he was just shy of 8 months old.

In any case, it’s a moot point. The royal retirement packages are determined based on length of title held. My palace sources confirmed it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I don’t know that it’s that cut and dried. For one, the cottage was supposedly a gift. Was paying rent ever laid out as a stipulation of that gift? And if they fronted their own money for fixtures and other design elements within the home then they’ve theoretically improved the value of that house above what it would have been without their investment. Was this a gift from employer to employee contingent on continued employment? Or was this a gift from a grandmother to her grandson completely separate from their working relationship? Does Philip get to keep living in royal housing post-retirement because that’s a perk of his retirement benefits, or because he’s the Queen’s husband? Will William and Kate be billed for renovations or asked to pay back-rent should they decide to move out of one of their royal residences? (I believe they have two.)

Philip was given the title of Prince in 1957 and retired from royal duties in 2017 = 50 years.

Harry has held the title of Prince for 35 years.

Harry should get 70% of whatever Philip’s retirement package was. Problem solved.

I always found it fascinating to see where the royals live. (There are some great documentaries about the palaces and the royals on the Smithsonian Channel. I might actually watch some tonight again if I can pry the remote out of DH’s hands. )

I was looking for something else but came across this article that states that Prince and Princess Michael of Kent, the Queen’s cousin, pay $13,600/month to live at Kensington Palace. It doesn’t say what anyone else pays, but it does show that at least some do.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.bu...her-royals-all-live-in-the-same-palace-2018-5

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I always found it fascinating to see where the royals live. (There are some great documentaries about the palaces and the royals on the Smithsonian Channel. I might actually watch some tonight again if I can pry the remote out of DH’s hands. )

I was looking for something else but came across this article that states that Prince and Princess Michael of Kent, the Queen’s cousin, pay $13,600/month to live at Kensington Palace. It doesn’t say what anyone else pays, but it does show that at least some do.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.bu...her-royals-all-live-in-the-same-palace-2018-5

Oh my, that’s a lot of family togetherness!

 

[Searc]

Oh my, that’s a lot of family togetherness!

Well, William and Kate's 'apartment' is 20 rooms and 4 stories. That's only one of the many residences. They don't call it a palace for nothing.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

I always found it fascinating to see where the royals live. (There are some great documentaries about the palaces and the royals on the Smithsonian Channel. I might actually watch some tonight again if I can pry the remote out of DH’s hands. )

I was looking for something else but came across this article that states that Prince and Princess Michael of Kent, the Queen’s cousin, pay $13,600/month to live at Kensington Palace. It doesn’t say what anyone else pays, but it does show that at least some do.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.bu...her-royals-all-live-in-the-same-palace-2018-5

That's fairly recent that they began paying. There are two people that really aren't necessary to be funded.

 

[ford family]

Philip was given the title of Prince in 1957 and retired from royal duties in 2017 = 50 years.

Harry has held the title of Prince for 35 years.

Harry should get 70% of whatever Philip’s retirement package was. Problem solved.

If 1957 to 2017 is only fifty years then I'm only 59 this year. Thanks for the extra ten years but, unfortunately, like a lot of your arguments, it isn't entirely credible.

ford family

 

[Disney Doll]

My opinion:
-First and foremost the Brits are quite unhappy that their handsome prince was snagged by an American
-Add in divorced and mixed race and that just makes it worse in their eyes
-Her crazy family (other than her mother who seems quite lovely from what I’ve seen) doesn’t help with the perceptions
-Yes she’s an actress but not in the league of Meryl Streep so she probably used to be able to move around relatively unnoticed. I consider myself reasonably well versed in “celebrity” and had never heard of her until she met Prince Harry
-She probably should have had a longer run up to the royal family and what it would be like. Not necessarily 10 years but probably more than a year or so, 6 months of which was secret
-Her BS statement of not knowing who Prince Harry was when they first met was just that...BS. An actress living and working in Canada knows who Prince Harry is
-I think it was lousy of them to blind side the Queen with the announcement
-Harry is doing what a lot of men do...putting aside their birth family for their wife and child. Sad when it happens and a man marries someone who doesn’t continue to encourage that relationship and the man doesn’t have the “gumption” to tell his wife that his relationship with her is most important but his relationship with his birth family is also important and needs to be maintained as well.
-If they think this “stepping back” is going to make them less followed or less commented on, they’re wrong. He’s Prince Harry, the little boy we watched grow up. The interest in him isn’t going away because he’s and his wife have decided they want privacy and independence from the Royal Family
-Obviously they need security with him being the Queens grandson so that expense will probably be paid for. Anything else they should pay for themselves. And no allowance from the Queen, Prince Charles or anyone else. You want to be independent, then be independent. And no free house sitting there empty for 6 months if the year. When you’re there you pay rent. When you’re not there, it’s used for other people to stay or whatever other purposes it’s needed for. It’s not “yours”.
-

 

[Disney Doll]

I read the entire post. Even if it's not meant as a negative, it still is awful. It is quite negative.

A bit more seasoned? For what? To be treated like an outsider? Her age and past relationships have nothing to do with how others should treat her.

So you wouldn’t expect a 36 year old woman who had been a Hollywood celebrity of sorts who had been married and divorced and had other relationships as well to be more capable of handling things than a 19 year old girl?

I find that interesting. I was a lot more capable of handling life at 36 than I was at 19.

If she wasn’t more capable of handling life like a 36 year old adult, then perhaps Harry should have been more cognizant of that, being that he was the one familiar with Royal life. His rush to marry out his seemingly fragile wife in the same position as his seemingly fragile mother was in. So for all his bluster about protecting his family, his judgment was apparently off.

 

[Disney Doll]

Don't know about "endear" but some do agree with them. But there is 0 guarantee they will agree with the next administration. That's why its ridiculous to name a person rather than saying they will look into moving to the US at a later date. But, hey, much better to get those digs in while they are convenient, right?

Here in the US we just consider that Hollywood talk. There were scores of celebrities who said they’d leave if the candidate that they didn’t want got elected.

They’re all still here....crying about politics while making their millions.

 

[Disney Doll]

Great parents don’t raise very toxic children. Toxic people are products of toxic environments, dysfunction that is passed down from one generation to the next.

Extricating oneself from that is not an easy process and it’s not a decision made lightly. People don’t cut off healthy, functional, supportive family members for no good reason just like no one up and leaves a happy, loving marriage or quits a great paying job they adore. Things have to be overwhelmingly negative and beyond repair for someone to get to the point where they feel they have no choice but to completely sever ties.

It’s true that we’re just outsiders looking in, but if Meghan has chosen to distance herself from certain family members, it’s probably safe to say she has good reason for doing so.

Disagree. I have a family member who completely cut off our side of the family for an imagined slight of “we never liked her”.

I think the real reason is because she did not want to have anything to do with assisting with the care of my now 92 year old father. He was 87 when she cut us off. Creating a slight in her head gave her the “out” of not having to impact her life to help care for him while still knowing that in the end she gets the same amount of $ as the rest of us who have shouldered the responsibility.

 

[Disney Doll]

ummm....she chose her husband, not this lifestyle

When you marry someone, you marry them with whatever trappings comes along with them.

 

[Disney Doll]

I find it difficult to accept the "explanation" that they had to release their statement about stepping down because they knew their plans had been leaked. Even if the story had been published how would the public know it was real? They came out with a statement disavowing the bullying story. There are stories non stop about supposed royal protocol "rules", and how Kate and Megan are either forced to toe the line or are breaking the rules, rebelling, etc. There are stories about abdications, tiaras, who stands where/rides where, is invited to this or that and who's upset or angry about this or that. Why would a leak about them stepping down or stepping back and moving require immediate response?

Personally I wouldn't be one bit surprised if Harry has extreme oversensitivity and a short fuse regarding anything that reminds him at all of what it was like when all of the attention was getting to his mother and the unbelievable horror of the white hot spotlight when she died. It's not that he's inventing issues out of thin air, but he quite possibly is incapable of taking a measured approach and being able to cope when it comes to his wife and child. Megan might find the same stories frustrating, maddening, humiliating, inhumane, etc., but she may well be able to shrug it off more easily than Harry. It's entirely possible she's unable to rein in his reactions -- but of course she's going to be labeled the culprit and mastermind, further validating Harry's viewpoint in his own mind.

I also wouldn't underestimate the staff or courtiers or whatever the correct term is. If they've got a bias against Megan it's relatively easy for them to use all of their power against her and undo most of the efforts the family might be making to help and be supportive. When you factor in the strange and detached environment that the generations before Harry and William have grown up in and consider normal it may well be that the family to a large extent has a great deal of difficulty understanding what is so hard about the situation for Harry and Megan.

I’m not giving Harry a pass. He should have known bettter. And if his reaction after all these years to the press, cameras etc is still that extreme, the he’d be doing himself and his wife and child a favor by continuing therapy until he learns to behave like an adult and take a more measured, rather than reactionary, approach to life.

One can still have joie de vivre without acting like a teenager. At a certain point, grown men need to act like grown men, just as grown women need to act like grown women.

 

[Skywalker]

If you can’t understand, the racist undertones and the double standards when people attack Meghan for the same things Kate has done, I can’t help you.

This is the type of thing I will never agree with. It is so tiresome. I am not saying there can't be a double standard happening. But I do not buy that it's automatically "because racism". Can't Meghan Markle just be unlikable because she's unlikable? I mean I know I am not racist, so, therefore I can't smugly assume that everyone ELSE who doesn't buy into her act must be racist.

 

[luvsJack]

My opinion:
-First and foremost the Brits are quite unhappy that their handsome prince was snagged by an American
-Add in divorced and mixed race and that just makes it worse in their eyes
-Her crazy family (other than her mother who seems quite lovely from what I’ve seen) doesn’t help with the perceptions
-Yes she’s an actress but not in the league of Meryl Streep so she probably used to be able to move around relatively unnoticed. I consider myself reasonably well versed in “celebrity” and had never heard of her until she met Prince Harry
-She probably should have had a longer run up to the royal family and what it would be like. Not necessarily 10 years but probably more than a year or so, 6 months of which was secret
-Her BS statement of not knowing who Prince Harry was when they first met was just that...BS. An actress living and working in Canada knows who Prince Harry is
-I think it was lousy of them to blind side the Queen with the announcement
-Harry is doing what a lot of men do...putting aside their birth family for their wife and child. Sad when it happens and a man marries someone who doesn’t continue to encourage that relationship and the man doesn’t have the “gumption” to tell his wife that his relationship with her is most important but his relationship with his birth family is also important and needs to be maintained as well.
-If they think this “stepping back” is going to make them less followed or less commented on, they’re wrong. He’s Prince Harry, the little boy we watched grow up. The interest in him isn’t going away because he’s and his wife have decided they want privacy and independence from the Royal Family
-Obviously they need security with him being the Queens grandson so that expense will probably be paid for. Anything else they should pay for themselves. And no allowance from the Queen, Prince Charles or anyone else. You want to be independent, then be independent. And no free house sitting there empty for 6 months if the year. When you’re there you pay rent. When you’re not there, it’s used for other people to stay or whatever other purposes it’s needed for. It’s not “yours”.
-

Her saying that she didn’t know who Harry was makes her seem more like a gold digger or going after the title of “princess”, whether she did or not. Of course she knew who he was. Perhaps she wanted it to sound like she never intended to “go after a prince” and was honestly very innocent of that. But she didn’t help her case by saying that.



While I could totally understand Harry wanting to protect his wife and child from what his Mother faced, I do not for one minute think that she didn’t know what she was in for. Perhaps she thought she could handle it but she knew. Heck, WE know, How could she not know? At least since the marriage of Charles and Diana, all the rules and procedures of the royals have been out there for all to read. Diana’s death was, at least in part, due to the relentless paparazzi so again, how could she possibly not know?

Now, in her defense, maybe she thought of it as all very glamorous and wonderful and the actual royal lifestyle just didn’t meet her expectations?

 

[dish rag]

This is the type of thing I will never agree with. It is so tiresome. I am not saying there can't be a double standard happening. But I do not buy that it's automatically "because racism". Can't Meghan Markle just be unlikable because she's unlikable? I mean I know I am not racist, so, therefore I can't smugly assume that everyone ELSE who doesn't buy into her act must be racist.

You are right about that. But it’s so easy to pull out the R card. It’s funny that it’s mostly white people that pull out that card. It’s tiring actually and really does nothing, except perpetuate racism. My best friend is black. He happens to be tired of it. He actually laughs about.