4Mickeys
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2014
Okay..... gonna start out with this warning......,
I need a moment and a place to rant, so this is the place and time.... and I am totally honest in saying that if you don't want to read because this truly honestly has NOTHING to do with weight loss, exercise, or anything else even remotely related to this challenge, I understand and I am okay if you just cruise right on by.
DS's robotics team ended yesterday near the bottom of the pack.... they weren't chosen for an alliance and so didn't end up in any of the finals. They did not receive even a SINGLE award (our team is often a shoe-in for the Image Award or Team Spirit Award, at least). Now, I get it.... this is not the end of the world in the grand scheme of life. But I am feeling an overwhelming sadness about this.... I think a big reason is because it means it is OVER. His 9 years of FIRST robotics is over.... and it ended on a sad note. And it seems to be becoming REAL to me that this is the end of his life as a high school student, which means he is that much closer to being out of the house. As long as we had another robotics tournament to look towards, it seemed to keep the "end" at bay. So in addition to being absolutely CRUSHED for my DS and his team in regards to how his team finished their season, I am feeling an overwhelming sadness for me that DS will soon be out of the house and GONE. My heart is absolutely breaking that suddenly my life as a "Mom" and being needed by my kids is over.
I want to run into DS's room right now and grab him and hug him and never let go to try and freeze time. I knew I'd miss DD when she left for school and I cried many, many tears.... but this is suddenly hitting me MUCH harder than I ever imagined. Maybe because when DD left, my best friend was moving away, but I still had "responsibilities" as a Mom with DS still here... but now....
Anyhow... as you were warned, that was a rant and a ramble with no real end. But I had to get it out. I tried SO HARD not to cry yesterday at the event.... I knew that DS was already really sad (as was the entire team and parents and mentors), and I didn't want him to feel some sort of misplaced guilt for my sadness. And when I got home late last night I just said goodnight and dropped into bed .... but I was awake very early this morning and cannot seem to shake this sad feeling today. I have a physical ache in my gut right now..... but I need to get it out and get over it before DS is up and moving.
I know I'll probably feel better tomorrow.... but today is just a sad day for me.
GO HUG YOUR KIDS! .....................P
for you. That is hugely disappointing for you son. Your post made me teary - feeling sad for you and a heads up of what's to come for me! My oldest is only in year 10 at the moment but at the end of this year he can get his driving learners permit - I can just see it all being over in a blink and being where you are at.
There is a Dr. Seuss quote that makes a lot of sense but it is hard to accept as parents.
"Don't cry because it is over but smile because it happened."
I love this quote - but sometimes it I so hard to do.
Thank you, thank you, thank you ALL for the love, hugs, kind words and support. I am feeling a little better now. DS woke up in a good mood.... he isn't the type to let things drag him down for long and that made me feel better. Plus he came right in to sit and snuggle with me for a bit when he got up..... like he intuitively KNEW what I needed today!
Dona, I do LOVE that saying....it may have to be my mantra for the next few months (or years!). And I knew, as the Mom of grown boys, that you would definitely understand how I was feeling.
DS and I spent some time today looking at his three top choices for schools online and planning out a road trip for next weekend to try and get to all of them... not sure if will all happen in one weekend, but he needs to give all of the schools an answer by 5/1, so we don't have much time left to do this!
I've been torn today between letting this be a day to rest and relax a bit after a crazy few days.... but I'm not one to sit still much, so I've also been tempted to get into some sort of big project today. I've found a happy medium with some housework, laundry, cleaning out a closet, some Pinterest time, and watching some tv with my men. Seems like it is one more "high carb" day for DH (the popcorn pot is dirty), so I've offered to make homemade pizza for them for dinner (you think they'd be tired of pizza and burgers after three days of them!). I'll probably make myself a low carb flatbread pizza. Eating for most of the weekend was a combination of right-on-track with a bit of "why-did-I-eat-that?" thrown in (mostly in liquid "hops and barley" form). I refuse to "throw in the towel" and eat like crap today though. The next bite is a chance to get it right?.... RIGHT??!!
I'll be back in the morning with a fresh and fun QOTD!!..........................P
Glad you are feeling a bit better and you have a wonderful son who gave you a good hug - maybe he is feeling some of these same things deep down about the end of robotics and going to college soon.