Parents of the Class of 2019

[TB'sWidow]

Oh boy - my DS continues to struggle. I pushed him to get a part-time job and he HATES it - and it is stressing him out. I think it was too much too soon. I thought it would help him meet people. Well, moving in with a total stranger and meeting guys in the dorm was probably enough new people to meet for an introvert. He calls me crying, and wants to come home, and that he made the biggest mistake of his life, etc., etc. I told him to quit the job and see if that helps. He had a four hour training, which was two hours on the computer taking tests and paperwork. Then he worked a four hour shift. They forgot to order him a name tag, so everybody kept yelling "new kid" at him and getting annoyed because he was "too slow" and "don't you know where anything is?" Well, of course not. His training was - just ask questions. I know most/part of it is him. My DD would be completely unfazed by that and would have dug her heels in and/or told them where to go!! My DS just wilts and cowers. Sigh.......
So, I helped him write a resignation letter, it was nice and polite. His boss responded back that she expects him to finish his shifts (two more four shifts this weekend) and he will NEVER work on campus again because she is going to fire him and put him in bad standing. Ummmm, really? Why would it matter if a student worked when he was just an "extra" anyway? Okay, well, of course, that put him over the edge AGAIN. I told him to NOT engage anymore with her and the university is in a rather large city, so there are a million other places to work........eventually.
I am SO TEMPTED to e-mail this girl back and give it to her, but both my DS and my DH have told me no, to leave it alone. But it so hard!!!!

sorry he is struggling. The girls response to him is troubling and he should advocate for himself as much as you wanna step in a call her out on her response, I know cause I would wanna do the same lol you have to let him handle it. Here’s hoping things get better for him

 

[laughinplace199]

McKelly, I'm sorry your DS is struggling right now. I'm sure things will get better once he settles in, but it's so hard for them in the moment. Will send some good thoughts his/your way.

 

[tink1970]

So sorry to hear this @McKelly --it's so hard to know when to push and when to not and how our children are going to respond to changes in their environment-hang in there!

 

[yeahdisney]

Oh @McKelly I too would want to send amn email but I wouldn’t. Places who hire would prob just blow off response from her. But the email you might send would be in written and that she could attach it an inquiry-out of spite.
I know a lot of people need their kids to work, saying that, the first semester I just hoping them to survive, then get a job.
Our kids are the youngest of all the cousins and the only ones to leave to go to university. DH and I did community college degrees. Our kids are close to each other and we lucked out both at same university and both at same dorm for this year.

 

[bjscheel]

I'm so sorry @McKelly that's rough. I really hope things turn around for him and quick! I would be a wreck worrying! My DD20 went to community college in a suburb with tons of retail jobs so it was easy to work off-campus and make more money so maybe that will work out for him when he's ready for a job.

I pushed DD to apply for on-campus jobs before she got there. She didn't get one and now really has no time to work, mainly because of theatre. I guess she is earning her scholarship, but I really wanted her to be able to also earn spending money this year and rent money by next year. (Though I do like right now that she has her weekends free.) She will have more time after this month but then she'll probably be in productions again in the spring so it would have to be really flexible. There might not be anything that will work out. Maybe the dining hall which she will dislike but we'll see. Her college town is small with few opportunities to work off-campus.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Oh, @McKelly, !! I'm sorry the job was too much.

My DS was stressed last week, too - had trouble getting into the online systems and stuff, but it has slowly been getting better. I really hope it does for yours too!

 

[Colleen27]

We're driving up to Rochester Sunday to take our son to dinner. His birthday is Tuesday, so we figured with the long weekend, driving up for the day wouldn't be too bad. My parents and my MIL have also never seen the campus, so they're tagging along, so we'll have a bunch of us for dinner. Had to double check that he didn't have anything else going on, but I guess he's free.

Haven't asked a lot of questions so far - ironically, the worst part about that has been the crap we're getting from our mothers. My MIL actually said to my wife, "Your father would have never stood for that", in reference to the fact that we didn't know anything about his classes, his professors or his friends. Because leaving our (almost) 19-year old alone and not hounding him for details is bad parenting?

I'm a bit envious of those of you close enough to visit on the weekends. DD's birthday was during the first week of classes, and while I did talk to her for a few minutes and arranged an Amazon delivery of some goodies for her dorm room, it wasn't the same as going out for her birthday the way we always have.

I think grandparenting somehow brings out the worrier/helicopter tendencies, even in parents who weren't that way with their own kids. Either that or my mom and MIL both watch too many news shows! They're far more concerned about DD being so far away than DH & I are, and both want far more details about how she's spending her time than I feel is necessary. Fortunately DD is very good at humoring them and taught them both to Skype before she left, so she's checking in with them from time to time to put their fears at ease.

Oh boy - my DS continues to struggle. I pushed him to get a part-time job and he HATES it - and it is stressing him out. I think it was too much too soon. I thought it would help him meet people. Well, moving in with a total stranger and meeting guys in the dorm was probably enough new people to meet for an introvert. He calls me crying, and wants to come home, and that he made the biggest mistake of his life, etc., etc. I told him to quit the job and see if that helps. He had a four hour training, which was two hours on the computer taking tests and paperwork. Then he worked a four hour shift. They forgot to order him a name tag, so everybody kept yelling "new kid" at him and getting annoyed because he was "too slow" and "don't you know where anything is?" Well, of course not. His training was - just ask questions. I know most/part of it is him. My DD would be completely unfazed by that and would have dug her heels in and/or told them where to go!! My DS just wilts and cowers. Sigh.......
So, I helped him write a resignation letter, it was nice and polite. His boss responded back that she expects him to finish his shifts (two more four shifts this weekend) and he will NEVER work on campus again because she is going to fire him and put him in bad standing. Ummmm, really? Why would it matter if a student worked when he was just an "extra" anyway? Okay, well, of course, that put him over the edge AGAIN. I told him to NOT engage anymore with her and the university is in a rather large city, so there are a million other places to work........eventually.
I am SO TEMPTED to e-mail this girl back and give it to her, but both my DS and my DH have told me no, to leave it alone. But it so hard!!!!

Ugh, what a witch! Terrible luck that he ended up with her as his first on-campus boss. It sounds like her management skills are um, lacking to put it kindly, not only because of her response but because of how chaotic the training and orientation process seems to be. That's no way to run a business!

Hopefully with the job stress gone, he'll have an easier adjustment and can look for something else when he's feeling more settled. Even DD, who has had a pretty easy transition so far, has just started applying for jobs now, in the 3rd week of the semester, because she wanted to get a handle on her schedule before adding a job into the mix.

 

[soccerdad72]

Visit was nice on Sunday - lot of driving, but worth it.

We all crammed into his dorm room for a few minutes, son gave the grandparents a little tour of the campus, we checked out a local museum for a little while, then all went out for dinner. Didn't get home until around midnight, but having Labor Day off, it was nice to be able to sleep in.

Was a little annoyed the next day - his roommate's parents also came in town and spent the night. A day or two earlier, his roommate's mom texted my wife and said that they'd take the two boys out for brunch on Monday before they headed home. Texted with my son later on Monday and asked if he went out to breakfast with his roommate's family and apparently, they never asked him.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Fortunately DD is very good at humoring them and taught them both to Skype before she left

I love that!

 

[PollyannaMom]

So, I'm going to see DS before Parents' Weekend after all (would be inserting jumping smiley here) but it's for a sad reason. - He will be back to visit this weekend because his girlfriend's grandmother passed away. (GF is a year behind him, so still in our area.)

Would it be appropriate to send her a card from DH and I? They haven't been dating long enough that we're "close" or anything, but I feel like it might be the nice thing to do.

 

[design_mom]

So, I'm going to see DS before Parents' Weekend after all (would be inserting jumping smiley here) but it's for a sad reason. - He will be back to visit this weekend because his girlfriend's grandmother passed away. (GF is a year behind him, so still in our area.)

Would it be appropriate to send her a card from DH and I? They haven't been dating long enough that we're "close" or anything, but I feel like it might be the nice thing to do.

I'm sorry for your son's girlfriend's loss. In my opinion, sending a card is almost never a bad idea, so I think you should send it.

I'm sorry it's for a such a sad reason, but I am glad you'll get to see your son.

McKelly -- I'm sorry your son is having such a hard time. Job stress on top of the stress of the first week of classes would be tough. I talked my son out of taking a job first semester because I didn't want there to be added stress, but I know he's hoping to add one in next semester. He's had a job since he was 15 and will definitely want spending money.

DS texted this morning to let me know he got a 100% on his first calculus quiz (taken last Friday). He said it was mainly review material (he took calculus, but not AP calculus, in high school). I suspect the class will get a lot harder and quickly... but it's nice to have a good grade to start off the semester. (He texted me right before the quiz, too and said "I thought I must not be doing very well because it took me 3 hours to do the homework and I only got a 93%, but the guy behind me said he spent 4 hours and only got a 60%." This is supposed to be a VERY tough class.)

 

[KristiMc]

Hello! Haven't posted on here in a bit. My son is at Bowling Green State University in OH. About 2 1/4 hours from home. He is loving it. He is in the marching band and it has been great for him. They had their first game last Thursday and we we were able to go watch him. Proud mom. He is loving everything about college!

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[design_mom]

Hello! Haven't posted on here in a bit. My son is at Bowling Green State University in OH. About 2 1/4 hours from home. He is loving it. He is in the marching band and it has been great for him. They had their first game last Thursday and we we were able to go watch him. Proud mom. He is loving everything about college!

​

Welcome back to the thread. I'm glad your son is doing so well. We're from the Columbus area, and are definitely familiar with BGSU. (My son is at MiamiOH... and I think Miami and Bowling Green play each other.) I have a nephew who is a high-school senior this year. BGSU is on his short list, and he's also interested in the marching band. Glad to hear it's been a great experience.

 

[mjkacmom]

Dd had her first club track practice and loved it, running a 5k on Saturday. She has her crew physical today, she still isn’t sure on what sport to pick. She wants to get a tutor for biology and chemistry, she hasn’t taken either since sophomore year in high school.

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

Well, we made it home! DD got all moved in, we did a lot of shopping on Friday and then had to organize the car so we could get everything into one trip to the dorms!

DD and her roommate are really well matched. Her roommate has some anxiety issues and is an introvert, but DD is a bit of a nerdy extrovert and is really good about getting introvert friends involved while still letting them be introverts. It turns out that her roommate went to college with DH at the same time, so even though they didn't know each other, they knew several of the same people. Her suitemates are also really nice girls, and DD said they all hung out together over the weekend quite a bit, which is great.

They had their convocation on Tuesday at 10:00am, and right afterwards they had a big activities fair with all of the clubs that the school has. She signed up for the radio club, the underwater hockey club (yep, it's a thing!), and the D&D club. Classes start today for her so I'll see how she's doing when she gets back to her room.

I managed to get through the whole weekend without crying, surprise I know, but I'm really OK with her being at school. I'm just really excited for her to explore the awesome opportunities that she's going to have.

DD texted yesterday and asked if she could go to Boston with friends. I thought that was so sweet (albeit unnecessary). I guess I'm glad she hasn't realized she can sort of do what she wants when she wants, lol.

I'm happy she's making friends and enjoying herself though. Hopefully classes are going well...I wouldn't know since I haven't actually spoken to her since we dropped her off at school 10 days ago. I'm embracing the no news is good news philosophy for now.

Sounds like our DDs are not far from each other, mine's in Lowell, and I'm sure there will be trips into Boston for her and her friends to come!

 

[tink1970]

Sounds like our DDs are not far from each other, mine's in Lowell, and I'm sure there will be trips into Boston for her and her friends to come!

They're practically neighbors-only about 45 min away. I suspect your DD will be more familiar with the weather, lol.
I'm glad drop off went well for your and your DD.

 

[laughinplace199]

This thread has been quiet lately. Hopefully that means our kids are all settling in and finding their people.

DS doesn't ever tell us much (has been that way since kindergarten) but we have face timed with him a few times and he seems good. He says his classes are going well, but I wonder how he's doing socially as he's pretty quiet. DD (who is a junior at another school) said she was going to face time with him this week, so we will ask her if she thinks he's doing well. Parents weekend is at the end of Sept. and I can't wait to see him in person. I think when we are with him we'll be able to get a sense of how he's doing.

 

[mjkacmom]

I’ve talked to Dd 3 times, she is still absolutely loving college life, although she has a bad sore throat and strep is going around. She wanted to go to on campus medical, but since she is signed up for crew tryouts, she is considered an athlete, so has to go somewhere else that requires a campus shuttle. She thinks she will stick to club running anyway because she likes the kids a lot. She might come home Columbus Day weekend, and wants to find a way to Rutgers next weekend because all of her friends who are at all different colleges are meeting up there for a game. I just received her AP scholar with honors letter from the HS, I had no idea what was addressed to “the parents of....” Then it hit me that it was the last letter. That was depressing!

 

[bjscheel]

We'll see DD again tonight...there has only been one weekend we haven't seen her and after last weekend she was going to stay on campus through the rest of the month. But then she realized tonight was another home football game for her BF and since she's going to miss Homecoming she wanted to go to several of his other games. She has to be back at school 11 am tomorrow for theatre so it will be a short stay. I can't say too much, I saw my BF (now DH) every weekend during college...I thought DH would complain about her driving back AGAIN but his only complaint is that she can't stay the whole weekend.

Tomorrow afternoon she will go to her first college football game so that's exciting. They have very good athletics so it will be fun to be at a school that wins a lot

When I suggested she stay on campus for tonight she didn't know what she would do. I know she likes to be very busy so I'm a little concerned about what it will be like when this theatre performance is over and her evenings are open. But that will be her chance to start getting involved in the church groups. There are at least two she is eager to go to so hopefully that fills the void for her.

 

[KristiMc]

My son came back towards home last weekend but to go visit friends at another college. Glad he is making new friends but also still keeping in touch with his high school ones. He did surprise me on Sunday with a visit for a few hours before he headed back. Loved seeing him.

He has a football game tomorrow (marching band) that I’m not going to make it to because his brother has a high school band performance but I will get to see him perform next weekend.