Quite the Valedictorian speech

[ronandannette]

I am a bit surprised at so many basically defending the guidance counselor and calling the girl petty on that one. If your kid was qualified for a huge scholarship that the counselor knew about, had the paperwork on and yet failed to tell your kid about, you would be ok with that?

For some kids these scholarships are the difference in being able to go to college or not.

At what point is it ok to call someone out for not doing their job when that job can have a big effect on your life?

A counselor not knowing how to guide a student in applying for colleges with the major of their choice? That is part of their job description! It is literally their job to find out!

Let's get real - we don't know anything about how this student's high school experience actually unfolded - nothing. All we're going by is her pathetic, self-aggrandizing speech.

As one who (professionally) is sometimes on the receiving end of hit-and-run social media rants, I can assure you, if we (my company) were able to fully detail our end of the story, the impression left would be quite different. I'd love nothing better than to go publicly point-by-point over some of the criticism we receive and call out the ranters; explaining in minute detail their part in situations and how they bring on their own troubles. But we can't - professional ethics don't allow for it, just the same as in this situation.

 

[Hikergirl]

Sometimes the truth needs to be told, and it hurts. The rebel in me applauds her.
The mature adult I am knows the way she went about it was wrong.

 

[ronandannette]

Sometimes the truth needs to be told, and it hurts. The rebel in me applauds her.
The mature adult I am knows the way she went about it was wrong.

Except we don't actually know the truth. I find it interesting that on a message board where posters will call one another out as liars over the tiniest inconsistency, seemingly giving no one the benefit of the doubt, everybody's ready to just swallow this thing whole...

 

[L&Lfan]

She sounds like a real creep.

 

[ronandannette]

She sounds like a real creep.

Probably just a full-of-herself bratty teen; which is a condition that ebbs and flows. If you haven't raised one, it's a little hard to imagine but this kind of behavior isn't atypical. Even the best of kids (and this one might be generally very good - we don't know) have moments of petulance, get ridiculous ideas in their heads that nobody's going to deter and lack impulse control. They can pull stunts that are (objectively speaking) breathtakingly stupid. That may well be the case here but I do find her parents' reaction to be worthy of a hard .

 

[luvsJack]

Let's get real - we don't know anything about how this student's high school experience actually unfolded - nothing. All we're going by is her pathetic, self-aggrandizing speech.

As one who (professionally) is sometimes on the receiving end of hit-and-run social media rants, I can assure you, if we (my company) were able to fully detail our end of the story, the impression left would be quite different. I'd love nothing better than to go publicly point-by-point over some of the criticism we receive and call out the ranters; explaining in minute detail their part in situations and how they bring on their own troubles. But we can't - professional ethics don't allow for it, just the same as in this situation.

No we aren’t going to hear the school’s side of this and I understand that. But not hearing their side does not make the girl petty, it would make her not seeing their side or exaggerating or outright lying.

Some calling her petty, make it seem that her complaint of the counselor isn’t important. And yet it is. If that was the girl’s experience then change is needed. And the admin at that school need to at least find out if it’s the experience of other students.

 

[Hikergirl]

Except we don't actually know the truth. I find it interesting that on a message board where posters will call one another out as liars over the tiniest inconsistency, seemingly giving no one the benefit of the doubt, everybody's ready to just swallow this thing whole...

You are right I don't know her truth, but I know the truth about the guidance counselors here and it is very similar to hers. If a student at my kid's HS gave this speech, it would be right on the money.
We also have some alcoholics teaching in the classroom too, one has even been escorted out by the police after one decided to throw something at a student. Only difference is it wasn't at the HS it was at the elementary school. We've even had a teacher arrested for selling drugs on school grounds. Not to mention the teacher who was just sentenced for possessing child porn (he was not employed at any of my kid's school but he was in the district).
This is the truth for some students, good on them for exposing it to those who think it's all sunshine and roses at the schools and the teachers and faculty are doing their best for these kids. Some of them aren't, and knowing what I know, I definitely don't doubt her experiences.

 

[luvsJack]

Probably just a full-of-herself bratty teen; which is a condition that ebbs and flows. If you haven't raised one, it's a little hard to imagine but this kind of behavior isn't atypical. Even the best of kids (and this one might be generally very good - we don't know) have moments of petulance, get ridiculous ideas in their heads that nobody's going to deter and lack impulse control. They can pull stunts that are (objectively speaking) breathtakingly stupid. That may well be the case here but I do find her parents' reaction to be worthy of a hard .

Is it really fair to assume that what she says in the speech isn’t issues that need to addressed? Because she is a teen, it should just be wrote off as lack of impulse control or petulant?

 

[Hikergirl]

Is it really fair to assume that what she says in the speech isn’t issues that need to addressed? Because she is a teen, it should just be wrote off as lack of impulse control or petulant?

Which is probably why she decided to do the speech she did.
Had she gone through any other channels to express her concerns and complaints she'd just be brushed off because she's just a bratty teen.

 

[ronandannette]

Is it really fair to assume that what she says in the speech isn’t issues that need to addressed? Because she is a teen, it should just be wrote off as lack of impulse control or petulant?

C'mon - she wasn't looking to "have issues addressed". The time for doing that in any productive way was long past. She was calling out people and trying to embarrass them in a way she probably though was edgy and clever. Not exactly a brave warrior for truth and justice...

 

[Colleen27]

I am a bit surprised at so many basically defending the guidance counselor and calling the girl petty on that one. If your kid was qualified for a huge scholarship that the counselor knew about, had the paperwork on and yet failed to tell your kid about, you would be ok with that?

For some kids these scholarships are the difference in being able to go to college or not.

At what point is it ok to call someone out for not doing their job when that job can have a big effect on your life?

A counselor not knowing how to guide a student in applying for colleges with the major of their choice? That is part of their job description! It is literally their job to find out!

I think a lot of people just have very low expectations, based on their own/their kids' experiences with guidance counselors. At my school, each counselor was responsible for about 200 kids and didn't really have time to know any of us, much less recommend specific scholarship opportunities. And that was back in the early years of home internet, when conducting the search ourselves was much more difficult. Our local public high school now has one counselor for almost 500 students. As I understand it from parents with kids there, she does send out email blasts to juniors and seniors about specific local scholarship opportunities and general scholarship search sites but that's about the full extent of the support kids can expect. Counseling departments are one of the places schools tend to focus budget cuts to avoid eliminating teachers/increasing class sizes or reducing course offerings, leaving the remaining staff with an impossible workload. It sucks for the students who really need help finding those opportunities, but it is hard to get too upset with any individual counselor for the mess that is the system they work in.

 

[Pink Partridge]

How incredibly selfish to monopolize such a special day for her classmates in order to publically take care of her personal issues.

She lacks integrity.

 

[luvsJack]

C'mon - she wasn't looking to "have issues addressed". The time for doing that in any productive way was long past. She was calling out people and trying to embarrass them in a way she probably though was edgy and clever. Not exactly a brave warrior for truth and justice...

How do you know what her intentions were? If this was an adult woman, accepting an award from her job and she called out bosses who were less than leaders or even abusive, would she be though of in the same light?

Anyway, regardless of the girl’s intentions, the issues she brought out should still be addressed.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

We also have some alcoholics teaching in the classroom too, one has even been escorted out by the police after one decided to throw something at a student. Only difference is it wasn't at the HS it was at the elementary school. We've even had a teacher arrested for selling drugs on school grounds. Not to mention the teacher who was just sentenced for possessing child porn (he was not employed at any of my kid's school but he was in the district).

The principal at the elementary school where my aunt taught was a closet alcoholic until it blew up in his face with a scandal. The truth was several months prior his wife had committed suicide (which people knew, they just didn't know how he was coping with it).

Of course it was highly improper and dangerous what the teacher the girl was talking about was doing. That did not mean the high school graduation ceremony was the place to go off on that. And one doesn't know what that teacher was going through either. Doesn't excuse the behavior absolutely not but it's terrible IMO to go off like that for a speech.

Which is probably why she decided to do the speech she did.
Had she gone through any other channels to express her concerns and complaints she'd just be brushed off because she's just a bratty teen.

I disagree. There were other channels and it's entirely possible she explored some of those already. But a high school graduation for all of her fellow classmates not the right place at all.

If her district has open meetings, that would have been the place to express concern, a formal letter to the district or even going further the state's school board (Board of Regents whatever the state calls theirs) would have been the place to express concern, over the course of the school years bringing light to what is going on would have been the place. And it's entirely possible she did some of those things. It's also entirely possible that some of those things she complained about fall under personal responsibility too.

And in all honestly I don't know what she did did anything to actually fix things.

A new guidance counselor if they wanted to fire the old one only does any good if the new one is all-knowing and perfect as can be.

As far as advising for scholarships that one may fall under personal responsibility. When I applied for college there were thousands and thousands of scholarships available you had to weed out the ones you might be eligible for (seriously there was one I believe for being Irish if IIRC lol). I never did expect anyone but myself to be responsible for finding out what I may be eligible for and I wouldn't dream of blaming my school. And when you get to college very few professors are fans of coddling and spoon feeding IME. Many expect you as a student to take that responsibility of your own success.

The work permit issue it's unclear what was the actual problem with that so I'm not sure what she was hoping to change.

And the public metaphorical pillory/stocks she placed the teacher who drank in just wasn't appropriate IMO. Doesn't excuse the behavior but two wrongs don't make a right.

 

[Hikergirl]

I disagree. There were other channels and it's entirely possible she explored some of those already. But a high school graduation for all of her fellow classmates not the right place at all.

I never said it was the right place. in fact in a pp I said it was wrong.
That doesn't change the fact that teens and kids are often brushed off because they are kids and teens and seen as bratty, dramatic, or any of the other things mentioned by some in this thread.
Maybe she felt this was a way of being heard, I don't know. I don't agree with how she went about it, but I'm not going to say the reason she did was just because she was an attention seeking brat.

 

[gwynne]

Not sure if that was the right time or place, but I totally understand.
I had to move in HS. To this day I remember some teachers and admin staff at the new school that went out of their way to be really unkind (and in one case cruel) to me. Due to my experience, I was very careful where I enrolled my kids as they grew up.

 

[luvsJack]

I think a lot of people just have very low expectations, based on their own/their kids' experiences with guidance counselors. At my school, each counselor was responsible for about 200 kids and didn't really have time to know any of us, much less recommend specific scholarship opportunities. And that was back in the early years of home internet, when conducting the search ourselves was much more difficult. Our local public high school now has one counselor for almost 500 students. As I understand it from parents with kids there, she does send out email blasts to juniors and seniors about specific local scholarship opportunities and general scholarship search sites but that's about the full extent of the support kids can expect. Counseling departments are one of the places schools tend to focus budget cuts to avoid eliminating teachers/increasing class sizes or reducing course offerings, leaving the remaining staff with an impossible workload. It sucks for the students who really need help finding those opportunities, but it is hard to get too upset with any individual counselor for the mess that is the system they work in.

I am sorry but I don’t think it should be hard to get upset with someone not doing their job. There are cuts all over the educational system and yet we expect the teachers to do their jobs. We expect the choir directors, band directors and drama teachers to do their jobs. Why do expect less from the counselor?

Our high school has one counselor and an assistant for 700-800 students. At certain points in the year, her main priority is to get scholarship information out. Our college alone gives many scholarships to students from high schools based on gpas and/or ACT scores. We don’t magically know who has what scores. The guidance counselor gets that information to us. Earlier in the year she calls in students who are only a point or so below on the ACT scores and encourages them to retake it to get the higher score.

Grades and test scores are in the school’s system. The counselor would have access to all of that. It doesn’t take a lot to run a report to see who is at what level to show her who may qualify for what.

Like I said, the school has fired some counselors because of the amount of money left on the table that students have needed.

As part of my job, I talk to high school counselors almost everyday. Some are great at their job and quite productive for their students. Some not so much.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I never said it was the right place. in fact in a pp I said it was wrong.
That doesn't change the fact that teens and kids are often brushed off because they are kids and teens and seen as bratty, dramatic, or any of the other things mentioned by some in this thread.
Maybe she felt this was a way of being heard, I don't know. I don't agree with how she went about it, but I'm not going to say the reason she did was just because she was an attention seeking brat.

Oh I know you said the opposite with the right place. Was responding to the "maybe that's why she did it" aspect. To me it shows lack of understanding that even when one goes the proper route we don't always get the result we want. And that could be though due to her age. She may have tried all she could have to bring to light the issues but as with other things we realize we did what we could and it went nowhere (to our knowledge that is). Most people have an internal "not going there" point.

I agree that the reason may not be simply because she was a brat because I think it's a mixture of other issues and personal responsibility issues not just fully one-sided but I'm not going to deny that her actions made me think she lacks maturity and tact. It's hard for me to disassociate her using the venue she had for that way.

And at least on the surface she lacks the ability to distinguish between things that were squarely on her and instead lumps it all in as someone else's fault again could be the age thing but IME that may present an issue in college when you enter into a world where most around you expect you to take up what is needed to succeed with little to no prodding, oversight, etc. And I'm sure a college could see valedictorian and have certain expectations of maturity level, expectations of understanding of going about ensuring one's own success, etc.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

So you're saying we should all have to hire private college coaches? What about those who can't afford to, but have as much, if not more talent than your son?

No, I'm not saying everyone should hire a private college coach, or even that anyone should have to resort to that. I'm saying that sometimes we need to rely on ourselves to get things done, like researching and tracking scholarship deadlines. She chose to publicly blame others for things she could have done herself.

 

[snappy]

No, I'm not saying everyone should hire a private college coach, or even that anyone should have to resort to that. I'm saying that sometimes we need to rely on ourselves to get things done, like researching and tracking scholarship deadlines. She chose to publicly blame others for things she could have done herself.

I agree! If there was money on the table I would not choose to rely on any counselor for this. The responsibility lies with the applicant in my opinion.