Shared, genderless restrooms

[bcla]

The question is whether people have a right to privacy and also where that line should be drawn. I think that it's a shame that everyone can't somehow be accommodated no matter how anyone feels about the topic. THAT would be fair

Well - there are varying degrees of privacy afforded the user depending on which location. There was that museum/hotel in Durham, NC where each door fully closed and the glass door became opaque via a switch. However, the look was more like a frosted window than completely opaque. At the very least there are going to be standard stalls where a peeping Tom would be pretty obvious, up to privacy stalls. And the place I went to clearly stated where the urinals would be, so that could be avoided.

The one thing that is the big equalizer is the single-user/family room. That basically accommodates anyone (even someone who is uncomfortable with the idea that ANYONE ELSE might get a quick glance), except for someone who insists on being in a shared restroom with only members of the same sex.

 

[Planogirl]

Well - there are varying degrees of privacy afforded the user depending on which location. There was that museum/hotel in Durham, NC where each door fully closed and the glass door became opaque via a switch. However, the look was more like a frosted window than completely opaque. At the very least there are going to be standard stalls where a peeping Tom would be pretty obvious, up to privacy stalls. And the place I went to clearly stated where the urinals would be, so that could be avoided.

The one thing that is the big equalizer is the single-user/family room. That basically accommodates anyone (even someone who is uncomfortable with the idea that ANYONE ELSE might get a quick glance), except for someone who insists on being in a shared restroom with only members of the same sex.

I see nothing wrong with enclosed stalls and family facilities but I have little faith that all restrooms will be set up like that. I definitely sympathize with the discomfort that some who have to deal with this face but to me this has the potential to simply transfer discomfort to others.

 

[bcla]

I see nothing wrong with enclosed stalls and family facilities but I have little faith that all restrooms will be set up like that. I definitely sympathize with the discomfort that some who have to deal with this face but to me this has the potential to simply transfer discomfort to others.

A lot of businesses have already gone to single-occupancy restrooms. I remember a lot of the small ones that were marked as one for men and one for women were re-designated gender neutral as far as 20 years ago. Some really small businesses had always been limited to a single restroom, so it had to be unisex. Some cities have ordinances that even require new businesses to have at least one single-occupancy restroom available. I also used a single-occupancy "ladies room" once because it was the only one with a diaper changing table. I guess the owner of the place seemed to think that only women would know how to change a diaper.

However, right now this is a novelty, but it's only a matter of time before it becomes the new normal. I'm just there to go in, wash my hands, and go out. I'm not there to peep at anyone. And it's not as if same-sex restrooms and lockers are free of prying eyes. Heck - I've heard that often women can be more inquisitive about other women. There was that case of someone convicted of taking a photo of a woman at a gym locker room who she didn't think was attractive, and she posted it online to ridicule her body.

This is deliberate. The management at many museums and restaurants have chosen this way in part because trans people they know have been harassed or even assaulted. Someone M2F might be harassed going into a men's room looking like a woman, or going into a women's room if there's the hint of being biologically male. Some people have been kicked out of or yelled at in both men's and women's restrooms because their appearance doesn't conform to conventional genders. When they make it clear that anyone is allowed to use a restroom, it doesn't necessarily take away the discomfort of people that someone of another sex or someone along a spectrum is using it, but it does take away any excuse that "you don't belong here".

It's also meant to address the issues when there's a disparity in the use of restrooms between men and women. We've all heard about long lines and women sneaking into the men's room to bypass the line. This creates a far more equitable situation.

 

[mom2rtk]

I know at the UMR St Pat's celebration, it was just 100+ guys at a time at the edge of the city park lake LOL

LOL, I have absolutely no doubt about that.

And now that you mention it, that campus did have some of the cleanest women's restrooms I've ever seen, likely from low use.

 

[CarolAnn856]

At this point if it becomes an issue, I can simply not patronize their establishment.

I simply believe that some things are done in private. I don't see the benefit of urinating or defalcating next to some guy. Heck, when I am home, I close the door.

I also believe that this will lead to other things. Like "all inclusive" changing rooms. Those are already coming. Thanks, no. I would prefer not to change clothes standing to next to some dude that isn't my husband.

So at this point, I have been told that I am ridiculous. And I have been compared to a racist.

As I and others have said, gender-inclusive restrooms eliminate the "gap" in the door that we are so used to today. I honestly don't understand what your concern is regarding privacy. No restroom is going to eliminate stall doors, nor are changing rooms going to just be wide open rooms. Heck, even my gender-specific changing room at my gym has privacy stalls.

A theater I went to recently has a gender-inclusive set up. There is a small hallway behind the lobby. The sinks are located at the beginning of the restroom area, then there are individual stalls that are fully enclosed with actual doors. It was great...no long line just for women. Everyone waited in the same line, and it moved very quickly.

 

[Liberty Belle]

My church's bathrooms are all unisex/not gender specific. There is a lock on the door incase someone does not want to share with anyone (there are two stalls in each bathroom.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I see these all over the SF/San Jose area, with all different types of signs, and agree that the triangle is the most useless and confusing.

The triangle to me looks like a utility closet/shelter/etc. It's very confusing. I can't remember what is on our church bathroom doors, but it's pretty clear cut.

 

[mom2rtk]

As I and others have said, gender-inclusive restrooms eliminate the "gap" in the door that we are so used to today.

Do they? Always? If they are, then that should put a lot of minds at ease. I can't even imagine how much time and money it would take to retrofit all the restrooms in our country though. I imagine that if there's more of a push to move everyone to gender-inclusive restrooms that they might start doing conversions without fixing the gaps.

I think when a lot of people consider the conversion, they are envisioning the last public restroom they were in that had rows of stalls with big gaps around the doors.

 

[CarolAnn856]

Do they? Always? If they are, then that should put a lot of minds at ease. I can't even imagine how much time and money it would take to retrofit all the restrooms in our country though. I imagine that if there's more of a push to move everyone to gender-inclusive restrooms that they might start doing conversions without fixing the gaps.

I think when a lot of people consider the conversion, they are envisioning the last public restroom they were in that had rows of stalls with big gaps around the doors.

All it takes to eliminate the door gap is a strip of rubber, plastic, or metal that attaches to the door or the supports. The management of one of our grocery stores installed this because there was a large gap left when a door was replaced that had a slightly smaller width than the original door. And I wonder how many existing restrooms will be retro-fitted. Gender-inclusive seems to be done more with new buildings or when there are complete renovations going on.

 

[morgan98]

As for me, I am really not hung up about having a man in the restroom with me, as long as there is some semblance of privacy. For example, some type of door on a stall. While I am a modest person, I am not overly concerned about hearing sounds or having some person try to peek at me through a crack in a door. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

I am also very quick. The less time I spend in there, the better. I really do not think or worry about some of the scenarios mentioned here.

Although I am not a man, in general it seems men do their business modestly without it all hanging out. The chances of seeing something you shouldn't seem very, very low.

However, I do care about cleanliness. If these restrooms are clean, I don't care who I have to share with...lol!

 

[mom2rtk]

All I know is that if men are using the same bathrooms, they need to make seats that can't be left up.

 

[Magpie]

As for me, I am really not hung up about having a man in the restroom with me, as long as there is some semblance of privacy. For example, some type of door on a stall. While I am a modest person, I am not overly concerned about hearing sounds or having some person try to peek at me through a crack in a door. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

I am also very quick. The less time I spend in there, the better. I really do not think or worry about some of the scenarios mentioned here.

Although I am not a man, in general it seems men do their business modestly without it all hanging out. The chances of seeing something you shouldn't seem very, very low.

However, I do care about cleanliness. If these restrooms are clean, I don't care who I have to share with...lol!

Yes, this is very much how I feel about this issue, too.

I don't care about cracks in the door as long as there's actually a door with a (ideally) working lock. I don't care if you can see my feet, or hear any sounds I make. If a man is using a urinal when I enter the room, I'm quite capable of ignoring him and proceeding past to a stall.

As for seats being left up... I can put it down, easily enough. It's not like I'll ever sit down on a public toilet without looking first!

I'm happy to share a restroom with the guys. My only request is that women please quit hovering! Just line the seat with toilet paper, if you're feeling that fastidious.

 

[mom2rtk]

As for seats being left up... I can put it down, easily enough. It's not like I'll ever sit down on a public toilet without looking first!

Oh, I'm not worried about falling in. I'm ok with sitting on a toilet seat. I just prefer not to touch it with my hands.

 

[bookgirl]

I actually support the concept, but I decline to use it in practice. I've got a shy bladder. I can barely stand a public bathroom with all women, sharing public bathroom with men makes me freeze up. Heck sometimes if it's really crowded I can't even use an all women's bathroom.

Last conference I went to had some bathrooms designated with all gender and some gender specific.

I was fine with that and just used the specific one or waited till I got back to my room. If it becomes the norm I'm sure I'll work it out just like I worked out my avoidance of public bathrooms years ago.

 

[bcla]

Do they? Always? If they are, then that should put a lot of minds at ease. I can't even imagine how much time and money it would take to retrofit all the restrooms in our country though. I imagine that if there's more of a push to move everyone to gender-inclusive restrooms that they might start doing conversions without fixing the gaps.

I think when a lot of people consider the conversion, they are envisioning the last public restroom they were in that had rows of stalls with big gaps around the doors.

Well, what you imagine was what I saw. I don't know about big gaps, but perhaps 1/4". Some partition designs hang from the ceiling and aren't really precision designs where the gaps are perfectly aligned. And urinals on top of that. That was the moment where I was thinking that this was going full-force into unisex restrooms.

I personally wouldn't mind if more privacy stalls were installed. I'm generally a modest person about my body.

We have always tolerated a certain amount of males using women's facilities and females using men's facilities if it's a child. I think we've all seen it where a young child isn't comfortable going alone, and maybe dad takes his daughter in with him.

 

[Magpie]

Oh, I'm not worried about falling in. I'm ok with sitting on a toilet seat. I just prefer not to touch it with my hands.

I just use some toilet paper. I've often seen them left up by the people cleaning them.

Also, if there's urinals, it's not likely to be an issue.

 

[Magpie]

Even with a generous gap around the door, it's always much easier to see out than it is to see in (due to you being positioned much closer).

I don't know about anyone else, but I can't recall ever seeing more than someone's feet or maybe the vaguest sense of a body behind the door (with the crack going light and dark as they move around), while waiting in line to use a stall. I can sometimes see out, if the gap is large, but I sure can't see in. At least, not enough to violate anyone's modesty.

That said, I thoroughly support the idea of little individual closets for everyone! Ideally, with one of those airplane locks that tells everyone the stall is occupied as soon as you engage it.

 

[gillep]

Yes, this is very much how I feel about this issue, too.

I don't care about cracks in the door as long as there's actually a door with a (ideally) working lock. I don't care if you can see my feet, or hear any sounds I make. If a man is using a urinal when I enter the room, I'm quite capable of ignoring him and proceeding past to a stall.

As for seats being left up... I can put it down, easily enough. It's not like I'll ever sit down on a public toilet without looking first!

I'm happy to share a restroom with the guys. My only request is that women please quit hovering! Just line the seat with toilet paper, if you're feeling that fastidious.

This is exactly how I feel too. I also must have a very different definition of 'large gap' than many people, or I am completely oblivious, because I have no issue using all variety of public restrooms, and have never felt as though the gaps in the doors are 'large', or that people could readily see me through them.

To add to the emphatic 'women please quit hovering!' comment, if you are going to line the seat with anything, please make sure that you clean it up after you use it!

 

[bcla]

I just use some toilet paper. I've often seen them left up by the people cleaning them.

Also, if there's urinals, it's not likely to be an issue.

You don't have paper toilet seat covers? The flap is supposed to suck the rest Of the cover when flushed.

I do remember the scene in Toy Story 3 where Woody uses a toilet seat to jump out of a window. But he has to place a piece of toilet paper down first.

 

[Magpie]

You don't have paper toilet seat covers? The flap is supposed to suck the rest Of the cover when flushed.

I do remember the scene in Toy Story 3 where Woody uses a toilet seat to jump out of a window. But he has to place a piece of toilet paper down first.

Nope, we don't have those here! At least, not in any of the bathrooms I've been in recently.

Cool fact: They're at Disney, in "almost" all the restrooms! https://disneyparksmomspanel.disney...posable-toilet-seat-covers-need-bring-170035/