Showing up unannounced

kymom99

DIS Veteran
Joined
May 24, 2008
We had some friends who did this. Never bothered me, but it was over 30 years ago. They were pretty predictable, Friday night. They'd get a baby sitter, go out to dinner then stop by. We had to make sure we had M & M's in the candy dish. At the time my wife and I both worked graveyard shift, so we would sleep until about 5 pm Friday and have the weekend off. We'd go minature golfing, or bowling or to a movie with these folks on the spur of the momment.
Very common when I was a kid in the early to mid-1960's. My parents friends would drop by unannounced. My dad would have to scurry to put his pants on because he was relaxing in his boxes. Of course my parents did the same thing.
One friend used to open the garage door, go through the garage, tie his dog up in the backyard, then knock on back sliding glass door.
Certainly not a good idea now with a pandemic.
My dad did the same. 😁
 

Jennasis

DIS life goes on
Joined
Jun 11, 2000
I live so far from my family that it doesn't happen...but I would kill to see any of them right now. Drop in or otherwise. Its been a year since I have seen anyone other than DH thanks to Covid.

Drop ins are family common though among my family.
 
  • marcyleecorgan

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 12, 2017
    AUGH please no don't. I hate it. I have lived in too many neighborhoods where someone just coming on in doesn't have your best interests at heart.

    My in-laws are like, Why is your door locked?
    The fact that you are asking me that, means that you tried to open the door without permission! AUGH
     

    OrangeBirdGirl

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 3, 2014
    My parents come by unannounced. They live about an hour away but they do alot of their errands in my town. While I prefer notice, I'm fine with it. I talk to my mom a few times a week so she will usually know if we're busy or not around and won't stop then. But friends, no I don't like it. Just because I'm sitting on the couch watching TV doesn't mean that I want to visit.
    Alot of my friends keep their garage doors open (the ones for the cars to drive through, not the one into the actual house). And the mindset is if you drive by and the garage door is open it means you're open to visitors. If the garage door is shut, no visitors. I'm not sure if this is common thing for people to know in general or just the group of my friends. LOL ours is always shut unless we're working in the yard and running in and out of the garage.
     

    disykat

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 5, 2000
    I think it is funny to think back and remember how people always dropped in years ago. (Certainly my experience growing up in the 60's and 70's.) My generation would call to arrange visits. My kids generation? They message me to set an appointment for a phone call. :rotfl:
     
  • theluckyrabbit

    Moderator
    Moderator
    Joined
    Jul 23, 2012
    call first or go away
    Amen. The in laws don't think family needs to call before dropping by. That's insulting. BIL and family don't live anywhere near us, but they like to drop by when in the area. And every time they do, I get sick. Like needing antibiotics sick. On one visit to Grandpa, BIL's youngest had a fever, diarrhea, and was vomiting. We called to say we would not be joining them, but to ask if they needed anything delivered from the pharmacy. Both BIL and Grandpa were angry at us (What?! WHY aren't you coming over?!) and didn't speak to us for weeks. Needless to say, we have a rule that no one from DH's side of the family is allowed to drop by unannounced. There isn't enough Lysol and I can't spare the Clorox wipes!
     

    eksmama01

    Life is happening when busy making other plans
    Joined
    Oct 2, 2020
    OP here - all of these stories just reminded me of a time when I was in elementary school. My Dad was military and we lived in the Philippines. My mom, sis and I had the opportunity to fly space-a (fly on a military plane) back home to Pope AFB in NC for a visit. My mom didn't tell my grandparents and just called from the base when we landed. My grandmother was like "the connection is SO CLEAR!" (early 80s) and then my mom told here we were home and to come get us. My mom had been scared my grandfather would have a heart attack if we had just showed up directly at the house.
     

    emer95

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 22, 2005
    Ohh, I hate it. I hate it so much. I never do that to anyone. Not my adult children, parents, siblings, or best friends. We all live very close to each other, so it has the potential to be a big issue. For some reason, my elderly father seems to stop over every time my husband and I decide to be “alone.” What the heck. The timing is ridiculous. My husband gets so mad.
     
  • AliceAnn

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Mar 11, 2015
    Sundays were the only days DH & I were able to sleep in, and we did. His folks all of a sudden thought visiting us unannounced after they’d been to early morning church service on Sundays was a good idea. They did this 4 weeks in a row even though it had to be quite obvious they got us out of bed. After these 4 visits I refused to get out of bed for them. They quit stopping by after 2 more drop ins.
     

    sasywtch

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 16, 2008
    I must be the lone ranger here. i have no problem with my kids stopping by or me going to their house. But, we all live close and to be honest...it's usually that we need something, dropping off something or to show each other something. We are so close together, i don't think I've had someone come to sit down for a "visit". When my mom was still alive, she'd come over often. I had no problem and wish she could still come over whenever she wanted to. i think our family is just not 'we have to entertain" type of people If you come over, you might be following me out to the garage to put a load of laundry in if you want to discuss something. I'm thinking we aren't the tea and cookies visiting type???
     

    Karin1984

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 5, 2012
    I have several good friends who say: "You can always come over, no need to call."
    But I can't, I feel terrible to show up unannounced, as I know how much I hate it myself. My home is my sanctuary, I decide who gets in and when.
    If you do show up unannounced, I will let you in out of courtesy, but I do not like you at that moment.
     

    DisneyOma

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 27, 2015
    My community of family and friends do unannounced visits all the time, and we don't have any problems with it at all. Before the pandemic some people might call to check to see if we were actually at home, but my parents, my in-laws, my cousins, friends, could always come by unannounced and we'd have coffee or tea and cookies and chat. I wouldn't think it was rude at all, as we are very open and comfortable with ourselves, our home, our lifestyle. Life's too short to get upset about having someone want to see you!
     

    ronandannette

    I gave myself this tag and I "Like" myself too!
    Joined
    May 4, 2006
    I have several good friends who say: "You can always come over, no need to call."
    But I can't, I feel terrible to show up unannounced, as I know how much I hate it myself. My home is my sanctuary, I decide who gets in and when.
    If you do show up unannounced, I will let you in out of courtesy, but I do not like you at that moment.
    Yep, I’d never not let someone in but I do die a little inside and find it very hard to focus on visiting with them when I’m in a ratty shirt, the kitchen is a mess and I’ve got nothing ready to serve. And I know that’s stupid because the guests don’t really care...it’s a hang-up I’m working on. :blush: Luckily, it almost never happens so I don’t get much practice.
     

    _19disnA

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 8, 2018
    I wonder how those who show up unannounced at YOUR house would feel if you did the same and showed up at THEIR home? What if they are busy cooking/baking, have a bathroom torn up because a repairman is fixing something, busy cleaning their house, etc.?

    With many schools now having student participate from home, you might also show up when their children are busy with some online classes.
     

    aprilgail

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Nov 10, 2001
    I love it when people stop by 🤷‍♀️
    Same here- if you are a friend, neighbor or family you are free to stop by whenever you want! My neighbors will pop over just to sit and talk and it is fine- if I am in the middle of cooking they can sit in the kitchen and hang out with me while I cook.
     





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