QueenIsabella
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2016
People are judged and pressured by others about a myriad of things every day -- where they work/chosen career, how they spend their time, how they spend their money, whether they should worship/where and how they should worship, where they go on vacation, where they live, what they wear, what they eat/don't eat, whether they choose to marry/not marry, etc., etc. Having children or not isn't any different in that regard.
By the same token many people are indifferent to whether someone else chooses to have children or not.
This. Some people (cough, cough! MIL!) think the only way to be is to have 2 children. Not 0,1,3, or any other number. 2. Bonus points if you have the elusive "one of each", because God forbid you be happy with, say, three girls. Until the day she died, she never forgave DH for being her second boy--he was supposed to be her "Wendy". She also never forgave me for--gasp! having 2 more when I'd hit the family lottery and had, you guessed it, one of each. Interestingly, BIL had 3 girls, but I think MIL justified it by thinking he was trying for a boy. Funny thing is, if you asked BIL, he'd tell you--if he had a 4th, he would have wanted a girl. He was so used to doing tea parties and Girl Scouts and just generally having a house full of girls--he's crazy about his daughters.
I always thought MIL was this way because her own mother had one of each. But then her brother's son had 8 (!!!). Nice kids, but things were a little chaotic when they came to visit one weekend. We'd have them back in a heartbeat, though.
As to anyone else's family choices--go for it. So long as you're happy with your choices and can support the kids you have, have 1. Have 6. Have 0. Have 12--I don't care. Take every legal tax break, drive a bus, whatever. Or enjoy your carefree, childless life, traveling or clubbing or whatever works for you.