If you DD's are included, do they bring their own gift?
The sole purpose of a shower is gifting the new mom or bride to be. I've been to many showers where people show up with their children but I've never seen the kid or teen who was "old enough to be invited" show up with a gift.
It would never occur to me to invite teens to a shower. Including the whole family on a wedding invitation if they know the couple well, yes, but not the gift grab that is a shower.
Maybe when teens are mature enough to realize that shower attendance means spending their babysitting money on crock pots or boxes of pampers, I'll reconsider.
Well, the shower may not necessarily be a work shower - the coworker may be a close friend of the mother-to-be in addition to being a coworker, & the friend/coworker has volunteered to host a baby shower & wants to include friends, coworkers, family, etc.
The original post is not very clear, but I could see different scenarios happening -
* the coworker already had a list of invitees & whom she planned to invite, but needed the addresses, so she contacted the mother for only the addresses
* the coworker had a list of invitees but needed both addresses &/or the names of additional guests that the mother-to-be wished to include, so she contacted the mother for both names & addresses - in the original post, she said she was contacted for names and addresses, but I'm not sure what that means - did the coworker just need clarification on the full names or was the coworker asking for the names of people she needed to invite?
In the above scenario, I could see where, when the OP was giving her niece's name & address, she would ask about the niece's daughter.
I've been involved in showers both as the guest of honor & as the hostess. 2 coworkers hosted a baby shower for me, & they asked me for any names of family members that I wished to invite since this baby shower was the only one I was having. I didn't go crazy & only added my mother, mother-in-law, sister, & 2 sisters-in-law.
However, I've also been the hostess of a bridal shower which I attended to be a family shower for about 25 people. The guest of honor asked me if I could invite a "few" of her friends as well, &, when I said that was fine & asked for the addresses & she gave me her additional list of invitees, suddenly I found myself hosting a shower for over 100 guests - for which I was not prepared. I even had to change the venue.
Again, I can see legitimate reasons why a hostess needed to limit the guest list & not include younger children. I could also see where she might have been taken off guard when the OP originally asked her about her niece's young child.
I think it depends on how the niece's child was originally included - and was the niece's child's name written on the invitation? Or was it more of a "Would it be okay if niece brings child?" request? The hostess said yes, but, now, that she's given it more thought she realizes, for whatever reason, younger children can't be included.
Regarding the other children, it really does go back to whose names are on the invitations.
OP - it really doesn't have to be stressful & drama-filled. I originally said the hostess needed to contact the niece, but, since you're related to the niece, I can see where the hostess would feel more comfortable w/ you contacting your niece, especially if the "invitation" to your niece's child was just word of mouth from the hostess to you to your niece - after you asked the hostess. Just a little "Oops! I was mistaken! The guest list doesn't include young children..."
And then go to the shower, enjoy the time w/ your daughter, &, afterward, thank the hostess for giving your daughter a shower.
If you DD's are included, do they bring their own gift?
The sole purpose of a shower is gifting the new mom or bride to be. I've been to many showers where people show up with their children but I've never seen the kid or teen who was "old enough to be invited" show up with a gift.
It would never occur to me to invite teens to a shower. Including the whole family on a wedding invitation if they know the couple well, yes, but not the gift grab that is a shower.
Maybe when teens are mature enough to realize that shower attendance means spending their babysitting money on crock pots or boxes of pampers, I'll reconsider.
The purpose of a shower is to celebrate a new life or marriage! I have seen plenty of showers with guests of all ages. If you have only seen them with adults I consider that strange.
DD7 has been going with me to baby showers since she was 4. She always goes shopping with me and picks out her own gifts to give (I give her several options from the registry to choose from plus let her pick one gift herself that doesn't have to be on the registry that she wants the baby to have). This is in addition to the gift that I give and comes at an additional cost to what I would spend on a gift if I went alone. DD does extra chores to "earn" the money for the gift, wraps it herself (though I did help her when she was 4), makes her own card, and takes pride in gifting it to the mom-to-be/ baby. She does the same thing for birthdays and Christmases. I've never been to a baby shower where she wasn't invited and I've always given her the choice on whether she wanted to go... with her understanding that she would have to do what's stated above. She's always more excited to go to these things than I am. She oohs and ahhs over all the little onesies being opened while I'm sitting there wondering if I can sneak out and grab a beer somewhere without anyone noticing. She's a much better guest than I am. She's also a girly girl (I am not) and loves ribbons and bows so her wrapped gifts look much nicer and more baby showery than mine.
I've always thought it strange that some baby showers don't allow kids. I mean, the whole point of the shower is to welcome a new kid into the world, who...wait for it... is already going to be at the shower no matter what. So let's celebrate the kid in mom's belly here, but please, no kids allowed.
And how do we celebrate the new life or marriage? By showering the guest of honor with gifts. Showers gave a start to the gift registry for goodness sakes. I'll stand by my statement. A shower is a party where the purpose is gifts so everyone in attendance should bring a gift.
My sister is getting married in August and her good friend is going to have a "couples" shower for them. Since you say that every person in attendance should bring a gift, does that mean that each couple invited is expected to bring two gifts?
At a couples shower, I would expect that if you and your significant other brought a joint gift it would be a nicer gift than if you brought a gift alone.
In fall one of the girls my DD works with called to get names and address since they were planning a baby shower for DD. So I gave them names and address for our family .my niece has an 18month old DD I asked if it WS OK if she came too . which I was told that would be fine. So last night I get a text from my DDIL .saying that the girl I talked didnt have my phone # so that's why she texted DDIL anyways it seems now they don't want little kids at the shower. My 10 yr old DGD can come. But now the work friend wants me to call my niece and tell her that her DD is not invited. I don't knows why she didn't say anything about it to my niece when she called to rsvp but now I'm stuck in the middle I'm just wondering if my DD is allowed to bring my DGD . she's only 3. Just wondering what you think or how to handle this awarkward situation . thanks all
(Although I'm sure some people would hate the kind of showers we have). Ours are a big celebration. Men, women and children are invited. There's usually a DJ, lots of dancing, lots of food and usually liquor.
Yes, you are right, that would not be my idea of a shower....
Does everything have to be about liquor and drinking and partying?
How about the fact that a very very pregnant young woman, who probably shouldn't be drinking, is the guest of honor.
Color me confused...
My sister is getting married in August and her good friend is going to have a "couples" shower for them. Since you say that every person in attendance should bring a gift, does that mean that each couple invited is expected to bring two gifts?
Yes, you are right, that would not be my idea of a shower....
Does everything have to be about liquor and drinking and partying?
How about the fact that a very very pregnant young woman, who probably shouldn't be drinking, is the guest of honor.
Color me confused...
I've stated before that the shower is a surprise and one the co workers that's hosting it called me for family and names and address so that's what a gave her since i only met these people times that's why I asked about nieces DD which I was told was ok. Not thinking I was causing a major issues when actually I was trying to avoid any issues since hostess first said GGN could come then change the rules she should be the one to tell her now she can't come my niece is not only DD cousin she's also her best friend. They are really close I wish I would have though fast enough to say thanks but we're planning a shower but I thought it was so nice of them to think of DD thanks for the replies