Also reposting this from page 2.
Some children adopted from overcrowded and understaffed orphanages may not have had all their needs met as infants and young children. To compound matters, they may have also been born addicted to drugs or alcohol and/or their birth mothers may have had poor to no pre-natal care. Infants may have suffered nutritional deficiencies in-utero and in their earliest days, etc., there are a lot of considerations but they all contribute, according to this researcher and other experts, to these brain abnormalities which can inhibit their ability to learn and function without a lot of the right kind of support, all the way into adulthood.
This girl is almost 20 years old, has 2 jobs yet doesn't know how make a sandwich, and is incapable of figuring it out without the OP to teach her? What does she do at her jobs, sit like a bump on a log?
She signed an LA fitness contract but doesn't have a bank account?
There are some things in the OP's posts that don't make much sense IMO. Those are just a few examples of things that make you go hmmm
This girl is almost 20 years old, has 2 jobs yet doesn't know how make a sandwich, and is incapable of figuring it out without the OP to teach her? What does she do at her jobs, sit like a bump on a log?
She signed an LA fitness contract but doesn't have a bank account?
There are some things in the OP's posts that don't make much sense IMO. Those are just a few examples of things that make you go hmmm
You are a smart man. Even someone who doesn't like the Bible would be wise to follow these words.Rather you believe the Bible or not, I always found this verse useful in my thinking ; Proverb 26;17 It's better to take hold of a mad dog by the ears than to take part in someone else's argument.
I imagine there is a lot of history that is contributing to her situation, and while I am not sure how much is learned behavior, and how much is due to her cognitive development, I am pretty sure this is not an elaborate scheme to play the OP. I do wonder if her issues are more than the OP and her family are equipped to handle though.
In regards to her jobs, it is possible that someone trained her. The OP has not indicated that she cannot learn, but has stated that she must be taught. There are many job opportunities that are unskilled.
Based on what the OP shares and what she leaves out IMO this whole story smells fishy. You are free to believe what you want.
What a sad situationI think she should definitely go to the police, file a report and have the police escort her to her house to get her belongings.
I'm assuming the family didn't/don't realize you've been helping this girl. If they do know, or if they do find out, I'd be worried about your safety and your daughter's safety too based on some of the threats. You might want to consider talking to the police as well.
OP---I would suggest moving this young woman out of your house as soon as you can. There is a lot going on with her and her family and it is not a good situation. She needs more help that you are qualified to give her and you need to put the needs of your family first and protect them.
I would contact a safe house or legal aid group in your city and see what they can do to help. They should be able to assist her with getting replacement legal documents and finding housing.
Why I am not surprised that you have such a big heart?Have you ever actually tried to seek help for someone through those avenues? Because in our experience trying to get help for teens and young adults in similar situations, it is not readily available.
We currently have two "bonus" children in our home - my son's physically disabled SO whose family situation is so dysfunctional that he literally had nowhere to go after high school, and a 17yo friend who was kicked out of his home to make room for his pregnant sister and her kid (mom told him to go live with dad; dad's new wife told them both that he wasn't welcome). These are people that, in our area, fall through the cracks; D has been turned down for disability twice but has also lost two jobs due to physical limitations, and can get enough grant money to attend school but not to live on while he does, and J was staying in a friend's barn after CPS declined to get involved with someone so close to his 18th birthday (this week - he became homeless in Aug. and came to stay with us in Oct. when my son found out where he'd been crashing). My mother is a social worker who spent 40 years working for "the system" and even with her help, we've been unable to find any real alternatives for either of them. Shelters are short term, young adults without dependents aren't high priority for agencies with limited resources, and without formally being part of the foster care system, they're not eligible for the few programs that do address the transition from teen to adult for those without family support.
For the short term issues of getting her SS card, her BC, and passport, she doesn't need the ones her parents have.
She can get certified copies of her birth certificate from the county clerk (or whomever provides them). As long as she knows her birthdate, where she was born, and and parents' names (mothers maiden name), she can get.
OR. She can get it from the state department of vital statistics (or equivalent in your state). This is, of course, assuming she lives in the state where she was born (to go to county clerk).
For SS card, she can get it from the local social security office. Passport, she just has to fill out a form and say it's been lost or stolen so the old passport can be cancelled and a new one issued.
No idea how to solve the rest of the issues.
EDITED TO ADD: if she was adopted, she needs to complete the state's document requirements. The state in which she was adopted should have the new birth certificate that was issued after the adoption was completed.
For the short term issues of getting her SS card, her BC, and passport, she doesn't need the ones her parents have.
She can get certified copies of her birth certificate from the county clerk (or whomever provides them). As long as she knows her birthdate, where she was born, and and parents' names (mothers maiden name), she can get.
OR. She can get it from the state department of vital statistics (or equivalent in your state). This is, of course, assuming she lives in the state where she was born (to go to county clerk).
For SS card, she can get it from the local social security office. Passport, she just has to fill out a form and say it's been lost or stolen so the old passport can be cancelled and a new one issued.
No idea how to solve the rest of the issues.
EDITED TO ADD: if she was adopted, she needs to complete the state's document requirements. The state in which she was adopted should have the new birth certificate that was issued after the adoption was completed.