Ladies, sons and bathrooms

[Tara1988]

No one has said that with regards to a 5 year old. No one.

So why do I keep getting quoted and being told to find other options?

 

[Angel Ariel]

The posts about other options were all referencing the conversation about 8 year olds!

For example..see bolded:

angel ariel said:

My 5 year old uses men's rooms now in smaller places, but if we are somewhere big, crowded or somewhere he's never been, he doesn't like to go alone, so he goes in whichever one the adult with him can take him to.

Which is precisely why many people were suggesting smaller, less crowded restrooms that could be used at wdw. This board is a bastion of information like that that is very helpful. It's completely understandable for a 5 year old to feel as you describe, and to bring a 5 year old into the ladies room with you.

By 8, however, if a child still has those feelings, it's time for the parent to seek out other means of accommodating that need. There are lesser used restrooms that aren't as overwhelming (they arent huge, aren't crowded), and this board can probably tell someone where all of those less crowded/smaller restrooms are.

The post quite clearly says it's entirely understandable for a 5 year old to feel as you described AND to bring a 5 year old into the ladies room with you. BUT *if* those feelings continued at 8 years old, it would be the parents' job at that time to find other accommodations to meet that need.

 

[BJ7644]

1- I haven't changed anything. If you read what I said, you would clearly see that my oldest child is 5. So any other age is a hypothetical situation that hasn't happened.
2- I don't drag my child anywhere. As I have said several times, when he is comfortable going into a crowded unfamiliar bathroom alone, he will.
3- People are welcome to say whatever they feel, won't make me not do what's best for my child. Because in the end, when I walk away from whoever that person is, I'll most likely never see them again and they will have no effect on my life, but my child is my responsibility. I would be a fool to decide not to do what is best for my child because someone on a message board disagrees and says it will offend someone. Yet no one gives him a second glance in real life. The many years my brother used a women's bathroom in theme parks, no one said a word or even looked at us in any way.
4- I don't know what you do in a public bathroom, but we don't "roam". And if you teach your child to fear someone minding their own business, doing what is supposed to be done in a bathroom, that's your business. I will continue to teach my child that a bathroom is a private place and you should respect the privacy of others in there. Because my child minds his own business in the bathroom, he doesn't have time to notice the gender of other children in there.

Saying you'll revisit it when he's 10 is implying you have already decided for the next 5 years. If you meant to say soemthing like "I would likely have revisited the issue by the time he's 10" then you would have corrected me long ago.

And your right - what someone says or does about it won't affect your life - but it certainly can affect your sons life negatively.

As far as the rest, if you read what I said, you would know I didn't say I taught my daughter to fear it. I teach my daughter what to expect and to be aware of potential dangers. Any boy in a girls room is silly to her. Finding it silly is far from fearing it.

I wouldn't be ok with a 5 year old in the bathroom with her at school so I have no problem with her viewing it as silly elsewhere. My cousin was molested at a Catholic school by a 6 year old when she was 7. If you'd like to be naive and think all boys are innocent, by all means carry on. I'm sure his mommy would've told us he's a perfect child minding his own business too.

To me, roaming is not being in direct supervision of mom. Outside the stall with no mom in sight is roaming. You cannot prevent him from running off or from peeping or whatever else while your on the toilet behind a locked door. The fact that he hasn't yet has no relevance on next time.

And if your child at 5 doesn't notice the gender of a restroom, he will soon enough. Even the 3 year olds at my DDs preschool laugh at kids wanting to go in the opposite room.

 

[Hikergirl]

Maybe because people continue to quote me

 

[Hikergirl]

He does come in the stall with me. I don't have a problem with that at all. But apparently him walking straight into the stall and back out, pausing for less than a minute to wash his hands is so traumatizing for little girls on their periods.

I think people keep quoting you because you keep posting with such a nasty attitude towards the young girls you may encounter in the restroom when you bring your son in. Yet another example I quoted above.
I think its pretty clear from your posts you are the type of mom who will just become more protective of your child the older he gets so even though he's 5 now, your attitude toward those young girls is probably not going to change when he is 8 or even 10.

 

[jevs]

My boys used the male restrooms when they started refusing to use the ladies lol. The eldest was around 7 years, the youngest just followed his brothers lead. Neither would be seen dead going into the ladies - they might catch girl germs rofl.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned early on, but we tried to chose busy restrooms. It's easier at DLR and WDW as it's so family focused - I have asked a random dad if they would mind going in and checking on them because they were in there for 10 minutes. I find people will help out with solo single parents with kids the opposite sex. I would have no issue helping out a solo dad checking that his daughter/s were ok in the restroom.

 

[Tara1988]

I think people keep quoting you because you keep posting with such a nasty attitude towards the young girls you may encounter in the restroom when you bring your son in. Yet another example I quoted above.
I think its pretty clear from your posts you are the type of mom who will just become more protective of your child the older he gets so even though he's 5 now, your attitude toward those young girls is probably not going to change when he is 8 or even 10.

I don't have a nasty attitude at all. I certainly don't have an attitude towards those young girls, I'll soon have one myself. I just find it ridiculous that so many women find a little boy under the direct supervision of his mother such a huge threat to their daughters safety. And thank you, I do try my best to be the type of mother who cares for and protects her children. (A good mother)

 

[robinb]

Maybe because people continue to quote me

People quote you because you continue to defend your position that many find indefensible.

I have been around long enough that I have been in your position a couple times in the past (different topics ). What I have learned is that sometimes it's best for my own sanity to tell myself that I have said all I could and unsubscribe from the thread.

If, OTOH you enjoy the conversation then you should carry on. At this point you are keeping the thread going.

 

[Angel Ariel]

I just find it ridiculous that so many women find a little boy under the direct supervision of his mother such a huge threat to their daughters safety.

What a way to twist people's words.

 

[Angel Ariel]

What I have learned is that sometimes it's best for my own sanity to tell myself that I have said all I could and unsubscribe from the thread.

You are totally right

 

[piccolopat]

Tara1988, no one is suggesting it is a problem for a 5 year to be in the ladies room. Would you personally be comfortable if you brought your son into the stall with you when he is 8 or even 10 years old? If you also had a daughter, would the answer be the same if you were to send your 6 year old daughter and 8 year old son in to the ladies room while you waited outside and told them they had to use the same stall?

 

[Tara1988]

Saying you'll revisit it when he's 10 is implying you have already decided for the next 5 years. If you meant to say soemthing like "I would likely have revisited the issue by the time he's 10" then you would have corrected me long ago.

And your right - what someone says or does about it won't affect your life - but it certainly can affect your sons life negatively.

As far as the rest, if you read what I said, you would know I didn't say I taught my daughter to fear it. I teach my daughter what to expect and to be aware of potential dangers. Any boy in a girls room is silly to her. Finding it silly is far from fearing it.

I wouldn't be ok with a 5 year old in the bathroom with her at school so I have no problem with her viewing it as silly elsewhere. My cousin was molested at a Catholic school by a 6 year old when she was 7. If you'd like to be naive and think all boys are innocent, by all means carry on. I'm sure his mommy would've told us he's a perfect child minding his own business too.

To me, roaming is not being in direct supervision of mom. Outside the stall with no mom in sight is roaming. You cannot prevent him from running off or from peeping or whatever else while your on the toilet behind a locked door. The fact that he hasn't yet has no relevance on next time.

And if your child at 5 doesn't notice the gender of a restroom, he will soon enough. Even the 3 year olds at my DDs preschool laugh at kids wanting to go in the opposite room.

By revisiting the issue when he's 10, I meant if he had not decided by then that he is comfortable going alone. Not that I'll drag him kicking and screaming into the women's bathroom until then. I'm pretty sure that 6 year old didn't molest your cousin while his mother was holding his hand, so that is a completely different situation that has no bearing on a child accompanying his parent in the bathroom. I am not naive at all, which is why I understand that wdw is not some magical place where nothing bad happens and therefore I should force my child into a bathroom he's not comfortable using alone because the place is "full of dads". I am very well aware of the fact that everyone isn't innocent, including those you would think should be. The very few times he has been on the outside of the stall was at much smaller establishments where #1 he couldn't possibly fit in the stall with me. And #2 there was a small enough crowd that I could trust that he would be safe for a few moments out of my sight. WDW doesn't fit into either of those categories so you don't have to worry about him "roaming" there.

 

[Tara1988]

Tara1988, no one is suggesting it is a problem for a 5 year to be in the ladies room. Would you personally be comfortable if you brought your son into the stall with you when he is 8 or even 10 years old? If you also had a daughter, would the answer be the same if you were to send your 6 year old daughter and 8 year old son in to the ladies room while you waited outside and told them they had to use the same stall?

Several people have actually expressed that it is inappropriate for my 5 year old to use the ladies room, because apparently their children stopped as soon as they were potty trained and wouldn't be caught dead in the "wrong" bathroom by 5. I would be completely comfortable bringing any of my children into the stall with me at 8-10, assuming we're talking about a larger handicap stall where we would actually fit. I will have a daughter in a few months, and wouldn't have any issues with them using the same restroom. But considering the fact that my issue is not against the men's room, but against sending him into a crowded bathroom without an adult before he is comfortable with that, that scenario would never occur. He wouldn't continue using the women's room after he's comfortable going in alone.

 

[Tara1988]

People quote you because you continue to defend your position that many find indefensible.

I have been around long enough that I have been in your position a couple times in the past (different topics ). What I have learned is that sometimes it's best for my own sanity to tell myself that I have said all I could and unsubscribe from the thread.

If, OTOH you enjoy the conversation then you should carry on. At this point you are keeping the thread going.

Will unsubscribing turn off the notifications for quotes? I've wasted enough time and energy trying to figure out what the big deal is about a little kid using the bathroom.

 

[Minniesgal]

Will unsubscribing turn off the notifications for quotes? I've wasted enough time and energy trying to figure out what the big deal is about a little kid using the bathroom.

no big deal over a little kids using the rest rooms with his mum.

However, this conversation was about kids 8 and over not little kids.

 

[robinb]

Will unsubscribing turn off the notifications for quotes? I've wasted enough time and energy trying to figure out what the big deal is about a little kid using the bathroom.

Yes.

 

[Gracie09]

Several people have actually expressed that it is inappropriate for my 5 year old to use the ladies room, because apparently their children stopped as soon as they were potty trained and wouldn't be caught dead in the "wrong" bathroom by 5. I would be completely comfortable bringing any of my children into the stall with me at 8-10, assuming we're talking about a larger handicap stall where we would actually fit. I will have a daughter in a few months, and wouldn't have any issues with them using the same restroom. But considering the fact that my issue is not against the men's room, but against sending him into a crowded bathroom without an adult before he is comfortable with that, that scenario would never occur. He wouldn't continue using the women's room after he's comfortable going in alone.

Now you are just making things up. No one has said as soon as a child is potty trained they should go alone. Everyone has said fine bring him into your stall with you (I've managed to have two four yea olds in a stall with me. Tight but doable). When he is too old for that use one of the other options (companion restroom, restaurant first aid). You want others to respect your feeling and views yet dismiss theirs as inconsequential even when their views are based on actual experience i.e. The pp whose cousin was actually molested by a 6 year old in a bathroom; because they don't line up with your perceived views (even though with all the millions of people who visit wdw each year there have been a handful of situations in all of which the perpetrator has been caught). My guess is when your daughter hits puberty your idea of an appropriate age for a boy to be in the bathroom will change
And the fact that most of the men at wdw are dads is important. Dads can read kids. I know if my husband thought something was wrong he would ask the kid if he was okay and even if the kid said yes he would stick around until the kid left to make sure. This idea of Chester the molester stalking men's bathrooms at Disney world waiting for little boys is about as far fetched as tge urban legends you read about people kidnapping girls and shaving their heads to make them look like boys.

 

[mom2rtk]

I don't have a nasty attitude at all. I certainly don't have an attitude towards those young girls, I'll soon have one myself. I just find it ridiculous that so many women find a little boy under the direct supervision of his mother such a huge threat to their daughters safety. And thank you, I do try my best to be the type of mother who cares for and protects her children. (A good mother)

The post below shows that's just not true:

He does come in the stall with me. I don't have a problem with that at all. But apparently him walking straight into the stall and back out, pausing for less than a minute to wash his hands is so traumatizing for little girls on their periods.

 

[BigAlsGal]

Diapers are always an option.

 

[aaarcher86]

Several people have actually expressed that it is inappropriate for my 5 year old to use the ladies room, because apparently their children stopped as soon as they were potty trained and wouldn't be caught dead in the "wrong" bathroom by 5. I would be completely comfortable bringing any of my children into the stall with me at 8-10, assuming we're talking about a larger handicap stall where we would actually fit. I will have a daughter in a few months, and wouldn't have any issues with them using the same restroom. But considering the fact that my issue is not against the men's room, but against sending him into a crowded bathroom without an adult before he is comfortable with that, that scenario would never occur. He wouldn't continue using the women's room after he's comfortable going in alone.

Can you quote where someone said 5 is inappropriate? I haven't seen that at all.

You continue to twist things to try and make your stance more understandable. It's outrageous.